FA+
Shop
Ah, screw this
6 years ago
General
How do people get good jobs? Dang.
I've been looking for several years and I've got nothing. I can't even get a callback from a basic job like a grocery store or a gas station. Even after dressing up, bringing my resume, and coming and calling back over a dozen times.
I'm not asking to be rich. Though that would be very nice, I just enough to buy some land that I want, a decent vehicle, and some money to make my own house.
I've been working for 14 years (technically about 7..., but over the span of 14 years), I've had over 30 jobs, and I don't think I've even made 50k to date. Certainly not 75k.
That's horrible. That's really bad.
I've recently been given many more hours at my other job. I was starting to think things were finally looking up, but then I just did a quick calculation. I'll barely make 5k more for the year (after taxes). That's it.
That's just take home pay, that's not even counting bills, which will leave me with about 3k for the year. That's also not counting other stuff, like food, my kids' health, etc.
I'll be lucky to have a thousand dollars by years end. Which of course will dry up during Christmas, birthdays, and whenever someone needs help.
*puts head in hands and sighs hard*
I was hoping this could finally be the year that I go to a doctor for the first time in my life. I was hoping that by the end of the year, I could finally leave and be free.
So tired of feeling like a doll for everyone to play with...
Just when I thought things were starting to look up, I guess I was just looking at another version of a brick wall. I struggle (I actually said that word for once) to get my kids food sometimes.
Meanwhile I watch others eat all their money away because they make too much. I guess I really will have to pick up a 3rd job, again, but I already leave my kids alone too much as it is, and sleep is always a problem with me.
Ugh... you know things are bad when some silly ideas that used to come to mind, like, oh I don't know, prostitution, start to become more and more active and real options you feel you need to take...
Not that it'd matter. I know how I look, and sound, and even seem to nearly all other people. I look like a foot, if it was crush, burned, and mutilated for days. And then punched in the face by Hulk. I dislike to say it, but sometimes you have to be honest...
*sigh*
*ahem*
There would have been more options, but I can't get a loan because I defaulted on my student loan years ago.
This happened while I was in talks with them to defer my loan for a while. They sold my loan from right under my nose, a few days before the deadline.
I just couldn't find work at at the time. Almost never could.
When I was able to find work, it'd always last only a month, or lasted indefinitely, but all my employees kept screwing with me, my managers kept lying about available hours and kept trying to get rid of me, and I'd eventually be let go or have to leave anyway.
The last debt collection company offered me something called a loan rehabilitation, and I definitely accepted. I thought things were going well, but they screwed me over and made a mistake or something on their part, and tried to garnish my wages.
I showed them proof of income again, and told them about the program they offered me, only for them to send my letter back a few days before the deadline.
Loan companies. Debt collection companies. Pretty much any place or person that deals with your money... all they do is play games. They play with people's lives and their emotions.
Who knows how much money passes through their hands every hour. I just got paid today and my check was $150. For the pay period. My pay period is always 2 weeks. That means I made / make $75 bucks a week.
At a job I've been working at and asking hours from for 3 and a half years. I just paid a $100 bill today, so I have 50 bucks to last for the next 2 weeks until my next check. And I already know my next one will be lower. Probably not even $100.
I'll find something. I'll find a way. I'm sure of it.
It's just...bah.
This isn't what life should be about. An infinite back and forth game of money, time, and frustration.
There's no reason why I shouldn't be able to work for at least 1 year, and have at least half of what I want in life.
You should be able to have at least a decent car, or at least a small amount of land, or at least a small house after a year.
I have none of these things. Maybe $90 in savings. Maybe.
I'm sorry for the depressing journals. Was just wondering something, and now I've gone and made myself feel like butt cheeks again.
Think I'll just go take a nap. Hopefully my kids don't kick me off the bed.
I've been looking for several years and I've got nothing. I can't even get a callback from a basic job like a grocery store or a gas station. Even after dressing up, bringing my resume, and coming and calling back over a dozen times.
I'm not asking to be rich. Though that would be very nice, I just enough to buy some land that I want, a decent vehicle, and some money to make my own house.
I've been working for 14 years (technically about 7..., but over the span of 14 years), I've had over 30 jobs, and I don't think I've even made 50k to date. Certainly not 75k.
That's horrible. That's really bad.
I've recently been given many more hours at my other job. I was starting to think things were finally looking up, but then I just did a quick calculation. I'll barely make 5k more for the year (after taxes). That's it.
That's just take home pay, that's not even counting bills, which will leave me with about 3k for the year. That's also not counting other stuff, like food, my kids' health, etc.
I'll be lucky to have a thousand dollars by years end. Which of course will dry up during Christmas, birthdays, and whenever someone needs help.
*puts head in hands and sighs hard*
I was hoping this could finally be the year that I go to a doctor for the first time in my life. I was hoping that by the end of the year, I could finally leave and be free.
So tired of feeling like a doll for everyone to play with...
Just when I thought things were starting to look up, I guess I was just looking at another version of a brick wall. I struggle (I actually said that word for once) to get my kids food sometimes.
Meanwhile I watch others eat all their money away because they make too much. I guess I really will have to pick up a 3rd job, again, but I already leave my kids alone too much as it is, and sleep is always a problem with me.
Ugh... you know things are bad when some silly ideas that used to come to mind, like, oh I don't know, prostitution, start to become more and more active and real options you feel you need to take...
Not that it'd matter. I know how I look, and sound, and even seem to nearly all other people. I look like a foot, if it was crush, burned, and mutilated for days. And then punched in the face by Hulk. I dislike to say it, but sometimes you have to be honest...
*sigh*
*ahem*
There would have been more options, but I can't get a loan because I defaulted on my student loan years ago.
This happened while I was in talks with them to defer my loan for a while. They sold my loan from right under my nose, a few days before the deadline.
I just couldn't find work at at the time. Almost never could.
When I was able to find work, it'd always last only a month, or lasted indefinitely, but all my employees kept screwing with me, my managers kept lying about available hours and kept trying to get rid of me, and I'd eventually be let go or have to leave anyway.
The last debt collection company offered me something called a loan rehabilitation, and I definitely accepted. I thought things were going well, but they screwed me over and made a mistake or something on their part, and tried to garnish my wages.
I showed them proof of income again, and told them about the program they offered me, only for them to send my letter back a few days before the deadline.
Loan companies. Debt collection companies. Pretty much any place or person that deals with your money... all they do is play games. They play with people's lives and their emotions.
Who knows how much money passes through their hands every hour. I just got paid today and my check was $150. For the pay period. My pay period is always 2 weeks. That means I made / make $75 bucks a week.
At a job I've been working at and asking hours from for 3 and a half years. I just paid a $100 bill today, so I have 50 bucks to last for the next 2 weeks until my next check. And I already know my next one will be lower. Probably not even $100.
I'll find something. I'll find a way. I'm sure of it.
It's just...bah.
This isn't what life should be about. An infinite back and forth game of money, time, and frustration.
There's no reason why I shouldn't be able to work for at least 1 year, and have at least half of what I want in life.
You should be able to have at least a decent car, or at least a small amount of land, or at least a small house after a year.
I have none of these things. Maybe $90 in savings. Maybe.
I'm sorry for the depressing journals. Was just wondering something, and now I've gone and made myself feel like butt cheeks again.
Think I'll just go take a nap. Hopefully my kids don't kick me off the bed.
Though, regardless of money, there's also the amount of hours to worry about. That's my main problem when I do get a job.
Temporary jobs were usually good for that. They'd almost always give you 40 hours a week.
But they were temp jobs. They only lasted a month, and I could only find about 1 of those a year...
All of the long term jobs I was able to find barely wanted to give me 10 hours a week.
There were times when I didn't have work for several weeks in a row on some jobs. So, more like 20 hours a month...
I guess I just don't have such good luck with jobs.
Thinking about it, I'm sure I've made this journal before at least a couple of times, so it's nothing new.
I'll find a way out of this financial rut.
Heck if I know. My university education wasn't enough to land me a burger flipping job at McDonalds.
But I remember applying to McDonald's, Burger King, Taco Bell, etc. Multiple times.
Every single one of them kept turning me down. And so many more jobs.
I didn't get it. These places were running help wanted ads. They were clearly needing employees.
When I asked about it, they'd always claim that they were full or weren't looking to hire.
Always the opposite of what they were advertising. At least to me.
I'd come in a few days or a week or two later to see new people hired almost every time.
They often came in the same day or usually a day later than I did.
I don't get it.
every place takes ten or more times as many apps as they have slots for,
that's just the way they do it.
at least now you can just go to all their websites and fill out their apps on line.
its mind numbing and with my anxiety issues,
i just, the more i had to do something the less i could.
and after many years of that i find out i could have had a pension to fall back on all along,
but i never knew i did.
all i can say is your exprience of that kind of hiring practice is not unique at all.
and in those kinds of jobs, they probably pick who to hire by rolling dice or throwing darts.
the next step up from those, what i've heard, in the tech industry, and it sort of makes more sense,
is to hire everybody for six months, and then lay off everyone except their favorites for the number of positions they actually needed.
the only jobs i've ever had that weren't from knowing someone who knew someone who knew someone else,
were temps that became perms, and those were low level and seldom lasted more then a year or two.
its culture too. we're a different culture, a different mind set, from the main stream,
and there's nothing to be done about it. either we are who we are or we try to live a lie that we're someone else,
and that never turns out to be worth it for very long, or at least it never has for me.
and yet, that's sort of what everyone in or near the mainstream seems to be their life.
i don't claim to 'get it' either, except everything is tradeoffs, and whatever path,
there are things on other paths that are just not a choice to live without.
learning to accept not expecting, may be a long road, but it is a possible one.
and if there are better approaches, they are not known to me, other then people saying words and claiming there to be.
1> is a willingness to beat your head against walls
and
2> is a willingness to believe, or convincingly act like you believe, anything they want to tell you.
some people will try to tell you that's not true, but that's how its always seemed to me.
i don't know if its that everyone secretly wants an echo chamber slave,
or if its just statistical of a rarity to find anyone who wants anything else.