when you stop trying to push against the river you might find a nice magical place.

but don't listen to me. i have nothing to show the world as bragging rights.

but then, that's not what i live fore.

don't know how to explain what it is that i do.

there is, in the mind, a little trail that winds up the side of the mountain,

i think i'll leave it at that.

It's not so much that I'm trying to push against anything or anyone.
I think. It's not my intention to do that just for the sake of doing it at least.

It's hard to explain. Even to myself. I'm trying to make sense of it all.
I feel that I'm close. I've been saying that for a long while, but I feel as though I'm closer than ever now.
Maybe not to truly being able to explain or understand everything,
but close to being comfortable enough to drop much of this and return much of the things to the way they used to be.

I think. I hope that I'm right.
Of course I'll listen to you Themnax. You've helped me out quite a bit already, and I'm thankful for that.
I wish to find this trail. I think I've been looking for it for a while...