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Obsession
6 years ago
General
Some time ago, I had talked about wanting an obsession. I don't actually ~want~ to be addicted / obsessed with anything, but I often saw how happy and productive an obsession seemed to make some people that had it.
They always had something to do, something to show, something to talk about, something they seemed to be good at. Something that made them happy.
It didn't matter if it was a toy, cartoon, drawing, collecting, sexual, fixing or making stuff, or whatever.
Well, I think I do have an obsession, but it doesn't seem to make me happy...
Remember when I said I often have a lot of tabs open, and months ago I said I think I shattered my old record by having 4.5k tabs open?
Yee~aah, I destroyed that record again. Not that I'm trying to honestly. As of this writing, I have 6,522 tabs open.
6.5k tabs.
Yikes.
.....
Now, I had wrote most of this part of the journal a few weeks ago, and during that time, I had over 7,000 tabs open.
That was a day or two after originally writing this.
That's crazy.
Since then, for some reason I opened another window. I think it was by mistake, but I only meant to have about 2 or 3 tabs open. I now have 599.
As "cool" as that is, it's time to close all of this. There are quite a bit of things I don't want to lose, but I'm talking about wading through almost (over?) 8 THOUSAND tabs.
No thank you.
I have a screenshot of me hitting the 6.5k tabs, and I thought I had one where I hit over 7k tabs, but I guess I had problems and couldn't screenshot it.
If my computer would stop freezing (the browser is only part of the problem), I could take a screenshot of the 599 tabs in the second window.
In the past, a few people have asked why I didn't just bookmark everything so I didn't have a ton of tabs open.
Again... this is over 7 to 8 THOUSAND tabs I'm talking about.
FireFox currently has [yet another] an issue where sometimes when I open a new tab, it will automatically bookmark it in a no name folder.
Not to mention, I think at some point, some of my bookmarks started to get bumped off. I don't know if that's true, but it seems like it.
I'll post a few of the screenshots when I can, or on request.)
The biggest question that everyone is probably wondering (including myself before this journal) is... why?
I will explain as best I can, though thinking about it, I think I have already talked about this in a past journal.
I often am on the lookout for better ways to do the things I'm already doing, or learning new things.
Usually that means YouTube, though YT doesn't have everything, so it's off to a random forum, picture, chatroom, etc.
pretty much anywhere I can find the information I am looking for.
Sometimes it's information on how to fix something, something that should be well documented, but is instead hard to find.
Sometimes it's looking up information about a certain product, like my bike for instance.
Again, something that should be well documented, but isn't.
Many times I'll look up better ways to do my job, or try to learn a new thing to do, such as new ways to 3D model or something.
Sometimes it's just something funny, or random, or whatever.
But in a lot of those cases, I'll see a related movie or something that I also want to see. I can't watch 2 movies at once.
I'll open another tab for that movie to come back to it later. Though it's not always a video.
Sometimes it's a forum post, sometimes a journal (I read many to make sure everyone is alright or needs help), sometimes a product, or whatever.
I can't always get to everything though. Sometimes I have to go to work. Sometimes I have to do something else.
Sometimes I'm just too tired and want to rest before I do anything.
Through the repeated actions of opening branching tabs and not having the time to get to them, they add up.
And in my case, they add up a lot. Because I'm afraid if I lose out on that information, I won't find it again. It's happened before.
That's why I have a lot of tabs. Here's hoping that I don't go "over 9,000".
Does it kill my resources? Oh heck yes it does. Though as a(n)power super ultra user, I can tell you it's not really the number.
After about just 30 tabs, all the resources the browser takes is the same as if I did indeed have 7k+ open.
The thing that really takes up a lot of resources is YouTube. Well, any site that uses video. Even some basic gif animations.
And no, it "wasn't all porn". At some point, realize that your jokes and common attempts at being funny are just plain annoying.
Less than 0.1% of the tabs I had open were porn. YES, in my case, that's still technically a lot of porn, but keep in mind my tab count.
It's that high because I haven't actually had the time to go back and finish or even open most of those tabs.
Not that I should be ashamed even if I did / was looking at that much porn. If I made me happy, then who else but myself should really care?
I am long since tired of doing all that I can to please people's delicate sensibilities. Certainly just to keep up some statistic.
Anyway, if I had to guess tab distribution, it's probably something like ~40% YouTube, ~50% FA (about 70% of that being journals, the rest being pictures), under 10% InkBunny (mostly pictures), and the rest was whatever.
Just wish it was something a lot more important or personal, instead of just having a lot of tabs open. I always seem to have some of the dumbest things around me.
And I didn't even get to most of them. I feel like I wasted a tremendous amount of time. Almost as bad as the time wasted for people who planned from the start to use me, abuse me, rip me off, and screw me over in some way.
..Dang it.
They always had something to do, something to show, something to talk about, something they seemed to be good at. Something that made them happy.
It didn't matter if it was a toy, cartoon, drawing, collecting, sexual, fixing or making stuff, or whatever.
Well, I think I do have an obsession, but it doesn't seem to make me happy...
Remember when I said I often have a lot of tabs open, and months ago I said I think I shattered my old record by having 4.5k tabs open?
Yee~aah, I destroyed that record again. Not that I'm trying to honestly. As of this writing, I have 6,522 tabs open.
6.5k tabs.
Yikes.
.....
Now, I had wrote most of this part of the journal a few weeks ago, and during that time, I had over 7,000 tabs open.
That was a day or two after originally writing this.
That's crazy.
Since then, for some reason I opened another window. I think it was by mistake, but I only meant to have about 2 or 3 tabs open. I now have 599.
As "cool" as that is, it's time to close all of this. There are quite a bit of things I don't want to lose, but I'm talking about wading through almost (over?) 8 THOUSAND tabs.
No thank you.
I have a screenshot of me hitting the 6.5k tabs, and I thought I had one where I hit over 7k tabs, but I guess I had problems and couldn't screenshot it.
If my computer would stop freezing (the browser is only part of the problem), I could take a screenshot of the 599 tabs in the second window.
In the past, a few people have asked why I didn't just bookmark everything so I didn't have a ton of tabs open.
Again... this is over 7 to 8 THOUSAND tabs I'm talking about.
FireFox currently has [yet another] an issue where sometimes when I open a new tab, it will automatically bookmark it in a no name folder.
Not to mention, I think at some point, some of my bookmarks started to get bumped off. I don't know if that's true, but it seems like it.
I'll post a few of the screenshots when I can, or on request.)
The biggest question that everyone is probably wondering (including myself before this journal) is... why?
I will explain as best I can, though thinking about it, I think I have already talked about this in a past journal.
I often am on the lookout for better ways to do the things I'm already doing, or learning new things.
Usually that means YouTube, though YT doesn't have everything, so it's off to a random forum, picture, chatroom, etc.
pretty much anywhere I can find the information I am looking for.
Sometimes it's information on how to fix something, something that should be well documented, but is instead hard to find.
Sometimes it's looking up information about a certain product, like my bike for instance.
Again, something that should be well documented, but isn't.
Many times I'll look up better ways to do my job, or try to learn a new thing to do, such as new ways to 3D model or something.
Sometimes it's just something funny, or random, or whatever.
But in a lot of those cases, I'll see a related movie or something that I also want to see. I can't watch 2 movies at once.
I'll open another tab for that movie to come back to it later. Though it's not always a video.
Sometimes it's a forum post, sometimes a journal (I read many to make sure everyone is alright or needs help), sometimes a product, or whatever.
I can't always get to everything though. Sometimes I have to go to work. Sometimes I have to do something else.
Sometimes I'm just too tired and want to rest before I do anything.
Through the repeated actions of opening branching tabs and not having the time to get to them, they add up.
And in my case, they add up a lot. Because I'm afraid if I lose out on that information, I won't find it again. It's happened before.
That's why I have a lot of tabs. Here's hoping that I don't go "over 9,000".
Does it kill my resources? Oh heck yes it does. Though as a(n)
After about just 30 tabs, all the resources the browser takes is the same as if I did indeed have 7k+ open.
The thing that really takes up a lot of resources is YouTube. Well, any site that uses video. Even some basic gif animations.
And no, it "wasn't all porn". At some point, realize that your jokes and common attempts at being funny are just plain annoying.
Less than 0.1% of the tabs I had open were porn. YES, in my case, that's still technically a lot of porn, but keep in mind my tab count.
It's that high because I haven't actually had the time to go back and finish or even open most of those tabs.
Not that I should be ashamed even if I did / was looking at that much porn. If I made me happy, then who else but myself should really care?
I am long since tired of doing all that I can to please people's delicate sensibilities. Certainly just to keep up some statistic.
Anyway, if I had to guess tab distribution, it's probably something like ~40% YouTube, ~50% FA (about 70% of that being journals, the rest being pictures), under 10% InkBunny (mostly pictures), and the rest was whatever.
Just wish it was something a lot more important or personal, instead of just having a lot of tabs open. I always seem to have some of the dumbest things around me.
And I didn't even get to most of them. I feel like I wasted a tremendous amount of time. Almost as bad as the time wasted for people who planned from the start to use me, abuse me, rip me off, and screw me over in some way.
..Dang it.
and money enough to do less then one and a half, where that gets involved, which is why i try to keep it from doing so.
constructive dreaming about how a world could be,
and the values if people, even a large minority maybe,
lived by unconsciously, because it was part of their cultures,
that would make it so.
i don't know how to make pictures that would motivate that,
but what i am, i won't say constantly,
but i think about when i don't think i'm thinking about it,
making pictures of what i like to think that world would look like.
one in which people neither hated logic nor imagination.
its why i don't need mind altering substances,
or a lot of companionship either,
my mind does its own altering just fine.
other people have other approaches to life, and i'm not dissing that.
but i actually find most kinds of conflict boring,
because they are empty of the kind of content,
that gratifies anything for me.