I appreciate that <3

I don't plan on stopping my art. It's a weirdly bittersweet moment where I feel like my past frustrations have been validated.

I have a 0-2 maybe, but that could just be memories instead? But I'm no artist, I'm a programmer though and I love reading fiction books though, but I can't really visualize it.

I've always considered myself more technically minded and have always loved programming and coding. Part of my pinned it on that but apparently there's no real correlation!

I also know color blind artists, and Beethoven was a Deaf musician.

Can't = definitive. Try = Possibly.

You might have a hurdle others don't, but you're just as much of an artist as anyone else. You and I BOTH know you ARE a defeatist toward yourself. With or without this issue. I have tremors and seizures every single day in my hands, sometimes I literally have them go numb :'D. I believe in you dude. You still make great and gorgeous art. Don't sell yourself short just because you do stuff differently.

I've seen this one before, I think I score around a 1 if not 0, honestly. I can think of an apple, but I just see a static-like void, with memories of apples here and there. However, I don't think it's so much a "lack of ability to visualize things." If we couldn't visualize things, we wouldn't be able to create things in visual media. I think it's more a matter of how some people like ourselves process things mentally. We still understand the concept, we can still "imagine" the apple and describe it in detail--the concepts and ideas are all there--but we interpret them through abstract concept more than visual presentation.

Now, socially, we're taught that creativity is heavily tied to visualization, as it's the most direct method to think of art before it's art. For those of us who don't visualize well, if at all, it can be distressing since there doesn't seem to be any other option. It's just a hypothesis for now, but I think it's less a "disability," and more a "compatibility" issue. We're "different," not "broken," but that doesn't make it any easier.

Conjecture aside, you're not alone, pal. Bizarrely enough, many skilled creative people are like this. Could be the reason why they're so good at art--can't visualize it, so we'll make a picture of it instead. >w<

Interesting.

Our entire society is built upon the opposite side of aphantasia. We visualize how we interact with one another, visualize other individuals, their needs, wants and et cetera. We form entire governments and societies through this opposite. Creating art with one another, communicating throughout a visualized or subconscious thought, that is made complex. Encoded with a form of thought that has its own form of diversity, compacted into a single fire from a neuron.

In conjunction with Elric, we presume it must enact professionality and accuracy. It must allow the mind to translate well into the physical form, communicating to the hand to draw into certain points directed by messages sent from one's brain. One craves though accuracy, presuming a black and white format, as unable to station colour into their art, in accuracy.

As contradictory as it is to our second paragraph, we must admit we acknowledge and have interacted in both sides. As we though pursue a want to be professional in art-work and face the same dilemma that you face, that one's art is better than their own. As we look at our own, written and orchestrated by hand, to be simple. Yet, we can visualize it of such complexity, that it could be turned into a movie or a game. For though, to train our mental visualizations, we start with black. We start with nothing but black. But, as the women in the video (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ewsGmhAjjjI) describes it, it persists with blotches. Which, with harder thinking, can be converted to shape or colour.

We started our expedition from the mild aphantasia that we though had, by enacting a neurological phenomenon. We participate in the activity that promotes phosphenes (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phosphene). Phosphenes encourage colour differentiation and amassed visualization by manipulating the tissues involved for interpreting colour and shapes. We manipulate this process by applying pressure on the eye, which in this case, you'd use the knuckles of your fingers to pursue such. You should always have your eyes closed during the process. With enough pressure, it will cause little bits of random colour, dots, be created across your vision, across the dark canvas. In order to pursue it much further, you must think of something, an object, anything about it. Think about its looks; colour, texture. This object can be a place, an entire environment, or an image you had seen on the internet.

With phosphene manipulation, we've orchestrated what was described in our second paragraph. It allows for a much greater form of creativity.

However, it never truly translates well to the physical world. For though one could evidently tell by our art technique/form, which we do not find ourselves fond of. As much as we're inexperienced in starting anew, we are usually able to modify in grand detail. As we're able to modify 3D models to much our own idea, if said 3D model is close enough to said idea. It translates horribly via hand however.

And as Elric puts it, this is why you actually are a truly great artist, but never find yourself to be. You doubt yourself as you can visualize none. But it should be in memory that you are great, greater than a majority and I included in this majority. You have just been classed up with people whom you deem much better and would seem better. You should be reminded that there is much room to improve and much to do, and that you are very much talented in the hand. You draw much complex illustration rather than colour, a form of art-style different from many. You simply have an unique art style, not an inferior one.