FA+
Shop
It's child's play, really.
6 years ago
So, went go see Child's Play tonight. The new one.
First of all, I want to apologize to Mark Hamill. They made him play what is basically the antithesis to Chucky so shortly after making him play the antithesis to Luke, it must be hard. At least with his comments on Luke he started to grow some balls and speak out about how disappointed he was in the direction they took the character. All the material I've read thus far sounded like he really, honestly enjoyed this movie. I don't know if that's just because he has to say that, right now, or if he's honestly just given up on Hollywood, being honest, or if he really has finally gone crazy, cause I can tell you: this is Mark Hamill reading Chucky lines. It isn't a Mark Hamill performance! ... or even a Brad Dourif impression. It's just, just ... ya know, just Mark Hamill. And yah! Mark does creepy! ... but like I said, I have to apologize, cause something had to've happened to Mark if this what he got and he thought it was worth the gusto he seemed to've been going into during his interviews. I think Hollywood finally broke the farm boy from Tatooine. I really don't fault him for his performance. I think there was so much more they could've done with the story.
----SPOILERS BELOW----
So, my first, super major... what? didn't you see the spoiler warning? Go! Go before I throw a football at'cha.
So, my first major problem is the opening. For those of you who haven't seen it and don't care about spoilers the whole reason Chucky is 'chucked' in this movie is because the Korean worker in charge of doing the final system checks on his huge ass microchip ... gets berated by his boss. So he turns off a few security protocols and finishes up. ... ... ... yep. That's it. That's totally it. And then he commits suicide by throwing himself from the factory onto a car. We don't even see him jump. Just his impact with the car. It's such... SUCH a dead scene.
The first... what. 30 minutes are just ... not useful. Once the murders start to ramp up (about the point in the film where the kids start to make fun of how ridiculous Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 is) then it... it's a serviceable gore splat. None of the killings are too terribly inventive, but Chucky never was until he became a lampshade parody of himself in the - Of Chucky movies. But still and all it's strung up by Mark Hamill just being the most INAPPROPRIATE default voice for a doll. Yes, Mark does do a bit of falsetto at the start but come on!! ... I only just tonight found out that Brad D. did not play the "Hi! I'm Chucky!" voice. Color me surprised. I just thought the guy was a God. But I don't think that that would work for this movie, as Chucky doesn't have a "personality" that flips from Doll mode to Killer mode. He just ... is Mark.
But that could be rolled into a saving grace, if they just opened the movie a little different.
We can still be in some Korean sweatshop. Not a problem. But we have all these bright, shiny, happy faces. It's a good place to work. Clean, livable. Productive. Everyone just getting along and working on their own little part of the assembly line ... then we get to the guy at the end of the line. His work station is a mess. The light above him isn't working, maybe. He's disheveled, unkempt, face hidden behind stringy hair and a dirty knit hat. We focus on a grimy name-tag. ... CHARLES... And... he's singing. He's singing to the doll he's working on. We recognize that voice. It's Mark fucking Hamill, alright. Maybe from the outside it's incoherent, but it's to the tune of 'The Buddi Song,' and it's getting creeped out looks from his co-workers. The supervisor is coming over.
"Charles! We talked about this! You can't keep singing while you work! Everyone thinks you're performing black magic or someshit on the dolls. Charles?? Are you listening to me, Charles?!" He grabs Mark by the upper arm.
"CHUCKY!!" screams Mark as he stops singing, turning to the supervisor. There's manic in his eyes as we get the first look at our current year Charles Lee Ray. "... my friends call me Chucky, I said."
"WE'RE NOT FRIENDS! We're not even co-workers anymore! Get your shit, and get out! This will be the last doll you work on!!"
and our supervisor shoves Charles back into his station. There's an exposed shelf ledge. We saw this before, when we first came upon this work station. It's sort of a Chekhov's Gun. Mark hits his head on it and a big wound opens up, getting our first blood splatter in under 5 minutes. Some of it catches the supervisor. Some of it gets on the doll he's working on and its exposed circuitry. Charles doesn't scream. He doesn't cry out. He just falls back onto the factory floor, black blood pouring out of his wound.
The supervisor is... PISSED. He's not scared he just murdered someone. He's SUPER PISSED that someone would DARE die on his shift! (this leans back more towards the supervisor we got in the movie; he probably doesn't have a place in a clean facility, but I still liked him. Big mood) So he calls security to come escort Mr. Charles's off the premises, even though he's already going through death throes on the floor. He's distracted. But we can see that our Good G-- sorry, our Buddi's control checks are cycling through ... by themselves. Boxes are being ticked. Security is being overridden. Warning screens are coming up and being shut down without so much as a single mouse click. Then we see the last little box. "Pre-Imprint name (for Store Demo only):" and it types out C H U C K Y in that typical 'slow but not plodding' kind of typing. And then green lights!! All clear! It's right at this moment our supervisor turns away from Charles's lifeless body being drug out through the backdoor and sees the doll, all ready for shipping. He looks at the blood. He looks at the screen. He looks at the doll one more time... and then closes up the chest, pulls down the shirt and puts on the coveralls.
AND FOR FUCK'S SAKE WHEN YOU LOAD A TRUCK, YOU DO NOT JUST FORKLIFT THE LAST PALLET IN ALL WILLY-NILLY AND THEN CLOSE THE DOORS.
... god that bothered me so much, and I don't know why. They just shove the last shipment on and that's it. They don't try to align it with the rest of the pallets, strap anything down OR cram it full. They're just like "Huh. The plot device has been loaded. Time to ship this one out! Yeehaw!"
But yah! That's TOTALLY a much better reason WHY Chucky sounds like that, why his name is Chucky, and it's much better than "the only thing that stops an AI from going on a rampage is 3 Y/N that any fucking dummy could hack." The end goal is still the same: he just wants a friend! A friend ... to the end...
Fite me.
First of all, I want to apologize to Mark Hamill. They made him play what is basically the antithesis to Chucky so shortly after making him play the antithesis to Luke, it must be hard. At least with his comments on Luke he started to grow some balls and speak out about how disappointed he was in the direction they took the character. All the material I've read thus far sounded like he really, honestly enjoyed this movie. I don't know if that's just because he has to say that, right now, or if he's honestly just given up on Hollywood, being honest, or if he really has finally gone crazy, cause I can tell you: this is Mark Hamill reading Chucky lines. It isn't a Mark Hamill performance! ... or even a Brad Dourif impression. It's just, just ... ya know, just Mark Hamill. And yah! Mark does creepy! ... but like I said, I have to apologize, cause something had to've happened to Mark if this what he got and he thought it was worth the gusto he seemed to've been going into during his interviews. I think Hollywood finally broke the farm boy from Tatooine. I really don't fault him for his performance. I think there was so much more they could've done with the story.
----SPOILERS BELOW----
So, my first, super major... what? didn't you see the spoiler warning? Go! Go before I throw a football at'cha.
So, my first major problem is the opening. For those of you who haven't seen it and don't care about spoilers the whole reason Chucky is 'chucked' in this movie is because the Korean worker in charge of doing the final system checks on his huge ass microchip ... gets berated by his boss. So he turns off a few security protocols and finishes up. ... ... ... yep. That's it. That's totally it. And then he commits suicide by throwing himself from the factory onto a car. We don't even see him jump. Just his impact with the car. It's such... SUCH a dead scene.
The first... what. 30 minutes are just ... not useful. Once the murders start to ramp up (about the point in the film where the kids start to make fun of how ridiculous Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 is) then it... it's a serviceable gore splat. None of the killings are too terribly inventive, but Chucky never was until he became a lampshade parody of himself in the - Of Chucky movies. But still and all it's strung up by Mark Hamill just being the most INAPPROPRIATE default voice for a doll. Yes, Mark does do a bit of falsetto at the start but come on!! ... I only just tonight found out that Brad D. did not play the "Hi! I'm Chucky!" voice. Color me surprised. I just thought the guy was a God. But I don't think that that would work for this movie, as Chucky doesn't have a "personality" that flips from Doll mode to Killer mode. He just ... is Mark.
But that could be rolled into a saving grace, if they just opened the movie a little different.
We can still be in some Korean sweatshop. Not a problem. But we have all these bright, shiny, happy faces. It's a good place to work. Clean, livable. Productive. Everyone just getting along and working on their own little part of the assembly line ... then we get to the guy at the end of the line. His work station is a mess. The light above him isn't working, maybe. He's disheveled, unkempt, face hidden behind stringy hair and a dirty knit hat. We focus on a grimy name-tag. ... CHARLES... And... he's singing. He's singing to the doll he's working on. We recognize that voice. It's Mark fucking Hamill, alright. Maybe from the outside it's incoherent, but it's to the tune of 'The Buddi Song,' and it's getting creeped out looks from his co-workers. The supervisor is coming over.
"Charles! We talked about this! You can't keep singing while you work! Everyone thinks you're performing black magic or someshit on the dolls. Charles?? Are you listening to me, Charles?!" He grabs Mark by the upper arm.
"CHUCKY!!" screams Mark as he stops singing, turning to the supervisor. There's manic in his eyes as we get the first look at our current year Charles Lee Ray. "... my friends call me Chucky, I said."
"WE'RE NOT FRIENDS! We're not even co-workers anymore! Get your shit, and get out! This will be the last doll you work on!!"
and our supervisor shoves Charles back into his station. There's an exposed shelf ledge. We saw this before, when we first came upon this work station. It's sort of a Chekhov's Gun. Mark hits his head on it and a big wound opens up, getting our first blood splatter in under 5 minutes. Some of it catches the supervisor. Some of it gets on the doll he's working on and its exposed circuitry. Charles doesn't scream. He doesn't cry out. He just falls back onto the factory floor, black blood pouring out of his wound.
The supervisor is... PISSED. He's not scared he just murdered someone. He's SUPER PISSED that someone would DARE die on his shift! (this leans back more towards the supervisor we got in the movie; he probably doesn't have a place in a clean facility, but I still liked him. Big mood) So he calls security to come escort Mr. Charles's off the premises, even though he's already going through death throes on the floor. He's distracted. But we can see that our Good G-- sorry, our Buddi's control checks are cycling through ... by themselves. Boxes are being ticked. Security is being overridden. Warning screens are coming up and being shut down without so much as a single mouse click. Then we see the last little box. "Pre-Imprint name (for Store Demo only):" and it types out C H U C K Y in that typical 'slow but not plodding' kind of typing. And then green lights!! All clear! It's right at this moment our supervisor turns away from Charles's lifeless body being drug out through the backdoor and sees the doll, all ready for shipping. He looks at the blood. He looks at the screen. He looks at the doll one more time... and then closes up the chest, pulls down the shirt and puts on the coveralls.
AND FOR FUCK'S SAKE WHEN YOU LOAD A TRUCK, YOU DO NOT JUST FORKLIFT THE LAST PALLET IN ALL WILLY-NILLY AND THEN CLOSE THE DOORS.
... god that bothered me so much, and I don't know why. They just shove the last shipment on and that's it. They don't try to align it with the rest of the pallets, strap anything down OR cram it full. They're just like "Huh. The plot device has been loaded. Time to ship this one out! Yeehaw!"
But yah! That's TOTALLY a much better reason WHY Chucky sounds like that, why his name is Chucky, and it's much better than "the only thing that stops an AI from going on a rampage is 3 Y/N that any fucking dummy could hack." The end goal is still the same: he just wants a friend! A friend ... to the end...
Fite me.
If anyone has any video editing skills, I want the following:
Brad shooting at Mike from round the corner while the line "Oh hi Mark!" plays
Slotting in "It's bullshit, I did not hit her, I did not!" after "I got the Strangler!"
"Ade due damballa! Give me the power YOU'RE TEARING ME APART!!!"