Well. Where do I begin. Really been six months. Cobwebs in my uploads and messages that really shouldn't be there, but are. I can feel the panic rising that's kept me wrapped in struggling to even log into FA for months, but yeah, gonna press on 'cause it's high-time I did and I've had much time to learn to cope with it, and there's been enough upheaval over the past year.

Where have I been? All the health woes at the end of last and first few months of 2019 leading up to total absence really set me into a mess as I struggled to manage a number of longer and larger projects that as they grew, required more and more time to go back, keep track of details and ended up feeling unmanageable and then a source of anxiety, enough to make hitting login on FA a source of a panic attack that just transmogrified into something even worse in my head. Compounded with guilt over keeping a handful of very patient peeps waiting, not updating, not responding. I'd read about artists having total meltdowns and never really thought it would happen to me too, but here we are. In this time I also realised that gender identity played its own huge part and have taken the first steps in a journey that has really lifted a lot of the stress and upset that contributed more than I thought it was and helped get my head on straight again. Plus the situation in the UK with the impending Brexit chaos has taken its own heavy toll as the future looks uncertain. So yeah, I say final apologies in the title as I want to offer them one last time as I get things going on a steady, stable footing again that will not crumble. Again.

I've also taken the time to attend business planning and management workshops as I got back up on my feet again, and learned much about managing workloads as a creative, and where I was going wrong. In the past I've always tried to make up for charging a lower price by volume. And being proud of just churning out so much. Novel-sized projects, over a dozen novella-sized comms, and dozens and dozens of smaller comms. I've realised that I can't keep up the pace anymore as I once did. Especially with the longer projects where the time spent for what I charge reduces it down to well below even minimum wage. And led to the mess I'm in now, which is a fault of mine. So once I finish and hand off all the owed work over the coming week and begin again with a blank slate, I'll be handling things on a more professional footing starting w/b 22/07 with invoices for all comms, and shorter and more frequent comm offers, adjusting pricing, and using other methods to generate a steady revenue streaming that can better monetise personal (kinky) projects I want to write. And be able to be cheerful and communicative as I used to be. This has been the first step, and jeeze, does it feel liberating. So that's the Kinx Commissions 2.0 part.

So yeah, I don't want to wall of text peeps, so instead, I'll be answering notes and updating journals throughout this coming week as I pull together the threads of half and mostly-finished owned comms, get my backlog of uploads rolling and see if I can get back to the way things were but on a much more stable footing and be the kind of reliable and stable commission writer I used to be!