FA+
Shop
An Overdue Update
6 years ago
Okay so i think its only fair that I finally give a way overdue update about whats been going on lately.
So a while back my dad had been in the hospital off and on for like a month straight. I know this was during one of my weeks of vacation. More had happened after that week and things were just...not good.
I ended up taking him to the ER twice. He now has a pacemaker and a defibrillator for his heart. So yeah...things have been on edge with that.
Then not too long after that happened, my boyfriend moved instate. We had not planned things through for this move. While yes I had a hotel room, we had not planned this through fully and needless to say that was the most stressful two weeks of my life. One week was with him while I was working, the second week was my week of vacation. I was under so much stress trying to find a place, that I actually made myself physically sick. Physically wasn’t the worry I had at the time. Cuz you can get better. But the mental sickness I had going on, was even worse. I wont go into detail, but lets just say it was not good. Not good at all.
Sadly enough, we did not have enough time to make things work. With no money saved up for this, we were unprepared and basically had screwed up. I had realized this and I think he did as well. So with a very heavy heart, when he asked me if he should move back home, I said yes. But not because I wanted him to. Its because we are both so unprepared. The stress was getting to us both badly.
So with a very heavy heart, I am sad to say he is back home. Several states away. BUT this does not mean things will not work out. I still want to be with him as he does with me. And we will make things work, but we need to plan things out better. And be prepared. Really prepared.
I am also sad in the fact that a few friends I had told about this, lashed out at me. I knew they would be upset, but they dont realize how truly hurtful it was of them to lash out like they did at me. Yes I know I hurt some of them, but I didn’t do this with the intention to hurt them. Their words really dragged me down and made me hate myself for a few days. Which did NOT do good to add up to the stress I was feeling. I felt guilt tripped and horrible because I had tried to find my happiness. But...I’m slowly trying to rebuild myself and move on.
Its so sad that me finding a smidge of happiness, helped to show me some peoples true colors.
Now moving forward, I am going to attempt to start saving up money. Because I dont want to get an apartment. I want to either get a trailer, or a house at some point. Yes you read right. I want to get one of those two things. I want to get my life going.
HOWEVER, this does not mean I am not looking after my parents. I am still putting them first and above myself. I want them to be happy and know that they still have me on their side. They got to meet my boyfriend and they like him as well. (It was a huge deal to me to have him meet my parents. I wont go into details as of why, but let it be known both my parents have heart problems. So getting him to meet them sooner rather then later, had been my goal.)
I will work on getting back into my groove. Its going to be hard because I miss having him by my side, but I will keep going. I want to get things back to how they were, get back into art. Back into playing WoW and slowly preparing myself for what is to come in my future.
But I figured you all deserved an update, since I had been silent for quite some time. Now you know what is going on. ^^
So a while back my dad had been in the hospital off and on for like a month straight. I know this was during one of my weeks of vacation. More had happened after that week and things were just...not good.
I ended up taking him to the ER twice. He now has a pacemaker and a defibrillator for his heart. So yeah...things have been on edge with that.
Then not too long after that happened, my boyfriend moved instate. We had not planned things through for this move. While yes I had a hotel room, we had not planned this through fully and needless to say that was the most stressful two weeks of my life. One week was with him while I was working, the second week was my week of vacation. I was under so much stress trying to find a place, that I actually made myself physically sick. Physically wasn’t the worry I had at the time. Cuz you can get better. But the mental sickness I had going on, was even worse. I wont go into detail, but lets just say it was not good. Not good at all.
Sadly enough, we did not have enough time to make things work. With no money saved up for this, we were unprepared and basically had screwed up. I had realized this and I think he did as well. So with a very heavy heart, when he asked me if he should move back home, I said yes. But not because I wanted him to. Its because we are both so unprepared. The stress was getting to us both badly.
So with a very heavy heart, I am sad to say he is back home. Several states away. BUT this does not mean things will not work out. I still want to be with him as he does with me. And we will make things work, but we need to plan things out better. And be prepared. Really prepared.
I am also sad in the fact that a few friends I had told about this, lashed out at me. I knew they would be upset, but they dont realize how truly hurtful it was of them to lash out like they did at me. Yes I know I hurt some of them, but I didn’t do this with the intention to hurt them. Their words really dragged me down and made me hate myself for a few days. Which did NOT do good to add up to the stress I was feeling. I felt guilt tripped and horrible because I had tried to find my happiness. But...I’m slowly trying to rebuild myself and move on.
Its so sad that me finding a smidge of happiness, helped to show me some peoples true colors.
Now moving forward, I am going to attempt to start saving up money. Because I dont want to get an apartment. I want to either get a trailer, or a house at some point. Yes you read right. I want to get one of those two things. I want to get my life going.
HOWEVER, this does not mean I am not looking after my parents. I am still putting them first and above myself. I want them to be happy and know that they still have me on their side. They got to meet my boyfriend and they like him as well. (It was a huge deal to me to have him meet my parents. I wont go into details as of why, but let it be known both my parents have heart problems. So getting him to meet them sooner rather then later, had been my goal.)
I will work on getting back into my groove. Its going to be hard because I miss having him by my side, but I will keep going. I want to get things back to how they were, get back into art. Back into playing WoW and slowly preparing myself for what is to come in my future.
But I figured you all deserved an update, since I had been silent for quite some time. Now you know what is going on. ^^
But I wish you the best of lucks toward your goals, a trailer and/or house sounds great, and I hope you get to your place of happiness sooner than later and much much more prepared
Thank you so much! I plan to take my time in moving forward so that I dont rush things again. Because the next time I have my boyfriend move up here, he's not gonna leave again. I will chain him to the house lol!