3 years and $15000 later, I am starting to question weather or not Zeezy is really worth trying to hold onto.

I have a confession, even though I'm sure at least most of you I've talked to know, that Zeezy never considered me a loved one, despite the effort and initiative and money I've poured into this relationship, he just doesn't seem to care at all, and before anyone goes off spouting "I told you so", please don't. I know.

I don't know if I am ready tone back on the market yet, or ever at that. I want so much for Zeezy and I to be a couple, but he is unwilling to try to warm up to me or anyone, and I believe that is his own defect and choice. I've tried to be the best boyfriend I can be, and advance his eventual photo career into the stratosphere, but there is no thanks, and no guilt of taking the money and running. I question how good of a friend he really wants to be, and wonder if this characteristic might span into the future.

In closing, I apologize for my hiatus and absence. I have been lackin Internet at my apartment going on 3 weeks now, and dealing with a tremendous amount of shit here and there. Forgive me.

Any comments are welcome at this point, but I'm taking this journal down at some point in the very near future, so PM me any additional thoughts. I'll be sitting here wondering how to come up with $15000 by the end of the year.