I don't know what's left from the guy who joined here many many years ago. Maybe I'm just too much sensitive or maybe I'm weak. I feel useless and worthless. I don't even know why am I writing this, maybe this is a scream for help or just another fucked up stuff I do instead of sleeping before work.
And no. This is not just a falldown in my mood. I have this feeling since I was 13. And now, eighteen years later still feel the same. I know. Lot of you never knew. Lot of you never will. I never show it. What I really want is just end this fucking circle what I called my life. Just stop. Exit from it, eacape from this reality. And you know why? Because I don't. I don't know why have I theese feelings, I don't really know what I did wrong to feel this way. It just happening. I can't remember the last time I was truly happy, I cant recall the feeling of it.
Why am I doing this? No one's there. No one has to care, I don't need their pity. Maybe I just humiliating myself for you, just to get more pain to finally get enough curage to finish my life. Or just asking for help, or just write this shit down to you. Just for sure. So, if I gone for a long time from online, maybe I'm dead. I won't say goodbye.