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Damn the miles. Damn the years.
6 years ago
General
The Sometimes Confusing Witticisms and Perplexing Perspectives of the Legendary Coyote of Apache Lore.
There's always this one battle we all wage from our very first breath... a battle we can never win but one we fight anyways because to lose is to truly lose everything. The war against time. It's a sucker's war and we're all born suckers. A clock we cannot see... a calendar beyond our vision and imagination... sands in an hourglass that is forever hidden until the last grain falls. Industries are born from it. Cultures change because of it.
We're born ignorant. Stupid of the battle we already face. Time is a bastard of a headmaster and school is always in session. Some of us never do know the war happened. Taken before we could learn. Casualty of the fates. Most of us learn as we go along though. The longer we fight the war, the more we wish we didn't know what we learned so far. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jGKNaIXtBZQ
I rarely admit self sorrow but today wasn't the kindest day of the calendar of my lifetime. Today I told my friends of years that I wasn't going to be able to continue on as a regular member of the weekend circuit. Time has taken it's toll. The miles have rendered me worn and tired. My fingers are bent and bloated and sore with arthritis... I have a tumor (benign but coming out soon, I hope) half the size of a football in my abdomen... the cartilage in my neck is nearly gone form a long ago accident and the bones grind on each other like stones... my shoulders hang on loosely in their sockets and ache... the tendons in my elbows are almost fried beyond measure and make it so hard to lift things, much less play music for hours. I hurt 24/7.
I have had a most wonderful and full life. But music is my passion... my love... my breath and my heartbeat... my soul. What I'll do next, I do not know... but after this weekend I shall hang up my bass guitar strap and only enjoy it when I feel I can. A casualty of war. I won't go quietly into that good night. I'll kick death's ass if he so much as pokes his ugly head in my door. I know I'll lose the fight someday. I hate knowing that. Until that day, I'll figure out a way to fight another year... another month... another day... another breath.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8dK6vb5-Pac
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=keslrXmghyc
We're born ignorant. Stupid of the battle we already face. Time is a bastard of a headmaster and school is always in session. Some of us never do know the war happened. Taken before we could learn. Casualty of the fates. Most of us learn as we go along though. The longer we fight the war, the more we wish we didn't know what we learned so far. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jGKNaIXtBZQ
I rarely admit self sorrow but today wasn't the kindest day of the calendar of my lifetime. Today I told my friends of years that I wasn't going to be able to continue on as a regular member of the weekend circuit. Time has taken it's toll. The miles have rendered me worn and tired. My fingers are bent and bloated and sore with arthritis... I have a tumor (benign but coming out soon, I hope) half the size of a football in my abdomen... the cartilage in my neck is nearly gone form a long ago accident and the bones grind on each other like stones... my shoulders hang on loosely in their sockets and ache... the tendons in my elbows are almost fried beyond measure and make it so hard to lift things, much less play music for hours. I hurt 24/7.
I have had a most wonderful and full life. But music is my passion... my love... my breath and my heartbeat... my soul. What I'll do next, I do not know... but after this weekend I shall hang up my bass guitar strap and only enjoy it when I feel I can. A casualty of war. I won't go quietly into that good night. I'll kick death's ass if he so much as pokes his ugly head in my door. I know I'll lose the fight someday. I hate knowing that. Until that day, I'll figure out a way to fight another year... another month... another day... another breath.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8dK6vb5-Pac
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=keslrXmghyc
Some of my playing partners had some interesting and thought provoking suggestions... such as doing lead singing or some harmonica work. I'm mediocre at the mouth harp but passable some. And I haven't done any 'lead singing' in, like, forever? I have a rubber voice... that is to say I don't have any style of my own but I can mimic so many different other singers. It's awesome for singing background/harmony because I can simply slip into whatever is needed... but my own voice is... rather plain? I've never tried to have a style of my own before... not since I was part of a triple trio choir waaaaay back in Jr High School (BP.... before puberty... when I REALLY had a helluva voice).
I admit... I'm thinking a little on it but what paid my way was bass playing because it's the least glamour spot in the bands... therefore the most in demand. Everyone wants to be the lead singer, the guitarist, or the drummer. LOL. So I'm not 100% sure if switching will translate into paying gigs. I just know I can't keep abusing the body as I've been. At least for a while... maybe until I can get it repaired. Maybe. For now it's taking care of mom and working when I can. It'll be a small pay cut (bar band gigs don't pay big bucks) but I can work with it. The worst part will be missing it inside of me. Weekends are gonna suck for a while.