FA+
Shop
Restart
6 years ago
General
β‘ ππ² ππ§π₯π’π§π πππππ¬ β‘
»ｑｑｑｑｑｑｑｑｑｑｑｑβ. βΎ .βｑｑｑｑｑｑｑｑｑｑｑｑ«
-ΛΛβ§ πΌπ’ πΎππππ πΏππππ β§ΛΛ-
πππΈπππ΄π | πΈπ½πππ°πΆππ°πΌ | π³π΄π
πΈπ°π½ππ°ππ | πΏπΈπ²π°πππΎ | ππΎππππ±π΄
Hello guys, long time no journal!
I'm here to share some thoughts. So if you don't care about this stuff, feel free to ignore.
I just want to share my thougts with you, so maybe it will help you guys to get to know me better, yanno.
Alright so, I've had this icky feeling for so long. So many years, on and off! The feeling of wanting to re-start myself. Sounds weird? Yep I think it's weird.
To further explain what I mean; this feeling can happen with me everywhere. In art, in games, in myself even. Like, I start something the first time,
I go for it, I work hard to get somewhere, I lose a lot of battles but keep trying, I reach somewhere higher, and then get to the point where I wanna just end and re-start.
Why do I have this feeling? I have no clue. Maybe that's why I have a problem with who is my fursona, and better yet, who I am. I don't really know. Now, I'm not wanting
to make this sound like a vent, not my intention, just sharing a bit of my complicated brain with yall. So the thing is, I have this feeling with myself again now. I wanna re-start.
I just wish I could erase who I've shown myself to be online, just disappear and come back as a brand new me. It sounds dumb, I dunno if any of you have had this feeling before,
but like I'm so troubled sometimes. This is not a plan or something that will happen, hopefully. Because deep down I like where I am. I've worked so hard. I don't want to waste it.
I just think I need some time. And when you first appear online and gain your following with your content, you simply cannot erase who you've been showed off to be, I know this.
Even if I did start anew, again, I would still have people recognizing my art or characters. "Oh yeah thats her!", you know?
It's not possible to re-start like that. Don't get me wrong, I adore when you guys recognize my work and even me. It shows how much you really pay attention to my work,
and I'm always grateful for that. What I'm trying to say is that I'm still a work in progress. We all are at one point, aren't we? And I do mistakes too, just like everyone else.
I have people who like me for who I am, people who support me, even people who love me. And, I have people who hate me. We can't please everybody, and we can't like everybody.
A lot of us meet on good terms, and some on bad terms. It's all natural. If you've met me on my bad side and want to dislike me for that, then that's perfectly okay. We all go through this.
I do know though, that I'm not a intentionally bad person. I try to make those around me happy. But I do mistakes too, and that's okay! We can't keep chopping off each other's heads for
not getting along. We are all different. I'm typing this to heal myself at this moment too, because I do tend to often forget that I'm human too. And I have the right to feel sad or confused just
like everybody else. I am not so good at multitasking, and I'm especially not good at chatting or keeping up with people via talk. I am a unsocial introvert, and it takes a lot of my energy to
just chat with people. I know that not everyone understands this, and still want to point the gun to my head for not speaking much, but I really can't keep pushing myself to try and make
many people like me. We can't. If you don't like me because I don't chat often with you, then I'm afraid we cannot be friends. We don't match.
I connect with my people through art and posts rather than PMs. And I don't talk to many regularily anymore, exactly because I don't have the energy to.
I just wish you guys just wanted to try to understand this. I also get quickly confused and stressed. I don't want to place a blame on my diagnosis, but I have ADD, and I get easily
distracted and stressed. A lot of stuff takes up my energy because there's chaos in my head. So I see now that trying to make over 1000 people happy and like me at the same time,
it just doesn't work. If you can do this, you're a real superhero. Sadly, I'm not. Okay, so this happens a lot when I write this deep things, that more subjects than one just pops in as I write,
but when I start, I can't stop sharing my thoughts.
I'm having difficulty connecting to myself. To make myself stronger. Because the last thing I want to do is upset someone. Many times I have upset people without even realizing it. I never
ever mean to upset anyone, even if they're in the wrong too. But as I said, we all have our good and bad sides. If you get on my bad side and push my buttons, then this is what you'll get.
I have to stop beating myself up over upsetting people. If they've brought it on themselves, it's their problem, not mine. And therefore I should try and forget. But however if I hurt someone without realizing and without being pushed, I deeply apologize for it. I am really trying here.
If you like me, and understand that I need my boundaries and time, then I am ever so grateful and I cherish you so much, you are so close to my heart. Thank you.
If you don't, it's completely fine. Then I just hope that you are adult enough to keep it to yourself. We can only hope. Though over all these years, I've realized that people online are
so mean and many only have bad intentions, so I can't be 100% sure. You see, I have paranoia, and I always think that behind my back, people hate or are trying to make others hate me. I always think someone is out to get me, one way or another. I know that's most likely not the case, but my paranoia is literally fcking with my head, and rises my anxierty to 100.
I know that you guys, the people online will most likely never really know me, because I don't fully open up to you. I don't fully open up to anyone, online or irl.
But I hope at least some of you have learned a little bit more about me. These are my bad habits. I hope I can share some of my good sides soon too.
Thanks for reading this hurricane of a journal, and I hope I didn't lose too many of you in these words.
I truly hope you can learn how I am and see what a total mess I am sometimes.
Now, I've decided not to be talking to anyone other than about commissions. I've decided to run this business and not open myself much to anyone online, other than these rare journals. For now.
I just hope it's understandable, thank you.
I'm here to share some thoughts. So if you don't care about this stuff, feel free to ignore.
I just want to share my thougts with you, so maybe it will help you guys to get to know me better, yanno.
Alright so, I've had this icky feeling for so long. So many years, on and off! The feeling of wanting to re-start myself. Sounds weird? Yep I think it's weird.
To further explain what I mean; this feeling can happen with me everywhere. In art, in games, in myself even. Like, I start something the first time,
I go for it, I work hard to get somewhere, I lose a lot of battles but keep trying, I reach somewhere higher, and then get to the point where I wanna just end and re-start.
Why do I have this feeling? I have no clue. Maybe that's why I have a problem with who is my fursona, and better yet, who I am. I don't really know. Now, I'm not wanting
to make this sound like a vent, not my intention, just sharing a bit of my complicated brain with yall. So the thing is, I have this feeling with myself again now. I wanna re-start.
I just wish I could erase who I've shown myself to be online, just disappear and come back as a brand new me. It sounds dumb, I dunno if any of you have had this feeling before,
but like I'm so troubled sometimes. This is not a plan or something that will happen, hopefully. Because deep down I like where I am. I've worked so hard. I don't want to waste it.
I just think I need some time. And when you first appear online and gain your following with your content, you simply cannot erase who you've been showed off to be, I know this.
Even if I did start anew, again, I would still have people recognizing my art or characters. "Oh yeah thats her!", you know?
It's not possible to re-start like that. Don't get me wrong, I adore when you guys recognize my work and even me. It shows how much you really pay attention to my work,
and I'm always grateful for that. What I'm trying to say is that I'm still a work in progress. We all are at one point, aren't we? And I do mistakes too, just like everyone else.
I have people who like me for who I am, people who support me, even people who love me. And, I have people who hate me. We can't please everybody, and we can't like everybody.
A lot of us meet on good terms, and some on bad terms. It's all natural. If you've met me on my bad side and want to dislike me for that, then that's perfectly okay. We all go through this.
I do know though, that I'm not a intentionally bad person. I try to make those around me happy. But I do mistakes too, and that's okay! We can't keep chopping off each other's heads for
not getting along. We are all different. I'm typing this to heal myself at this moment too, because I do tend to often forget that I'm human too. And I have the right to feel sad or confused just
like everybody else. I am not so good at multitasking, and I'm especially not good at chatting or keeping up with people via talk. I am a unsocial introvert, and it takes a lot of my energy to
just chat with people. I know that not everyone understands this, and still want to point the gun to my head for not speaking much, but I really can't keep pushing myself to try and make
many people like me. We can't. If you don't like me because I don't chat often with you, then I'm afraid we cannot be friends. We don't match.
I connect with my people through art and posts rather than PMs. And I don't talk to many regularily anymore, exactly because I don't have the energy to.
I just wish you guys just wanted to try to understand this. I also get quickly confused and stressed. I don't want to place a blame on my diagnosis, but I have ADD, and I get easily
distracted and stressed. A lot of stuff takes up my energy because there's chaos in my head. So I see now that trying to make over 1000 people happy and like me at the same time,
it just doesn't work. If you can do this, you're a real superhero. Sadly, I'm not. Okay, so this happens a lot when I write this deep things, that more subjects than one just pops in as I write,
but when I start, I can't stop sharing my thoughts.
I'm having difficulty connecting to myself. To make myself stronger. Because the last thing I want to do is upset someone. Many times I have upset people without even realizing it. I never
ever mean to upset anyone, even if they're in the wrong too. But as I said, we all have our good and bad sides. If you get on my bad side and push my buttons, then this is what you'll get.
I have to stop beating myself up over upsetting people. If they've brought it on themselves, it's their problem, not mine. And therefore I should try and forget. But however if I hurt someone without realizing and without being pushed, I deeply apologize for it. I am really trying here.
If you like me, and understand that I need my boundaries and time, then I am ever so grateful and I cherish you so much, you are so close to my heart. Thank you.
If you don't, it's completely fine. Then I just hope that you are adult enough to keep it to yourself. We can only hope. Though over all these years, I've realized that people online are
so mean and many only have bad intentions, so I can't be 100% sure. You see, I have paranoia, and I always think that behind my back, people hate or are trying to make others hate me. I always think someone is out to get me, one way or another. I know that's most likely not the case, but my paranoia is literally fcking with my head, and rises my anxierty to 100.
I know that you guys, the people online will most likely never really know me, because I don't fully open up to you. I don't fully open up to anyone, online or irl.
But I hope at least some of you have learned a little bit more about me. These are my bad habits. I hope I can share some of my good sides soon too.
Thanks for reading this hurricane of a journal, and I hope I didn't lose too many of you in these words.
I truly hope you can learn how I am and see what a total mess I am sometimes.
Now, I've decided not to be talking to anyone other than about commissions. I've decided to run this business and not open myself much to anyone online, other than these rare journals. For now.
I just hope it's understandable, thank you.
πΎπππππππππ πππππ 
I work on weekdays, but have WEEKENDS AND HOLIDAYS OFF!
[ "π" = waiting to start, "β" = working on, "β " = finished ]
βNOT OFFICIALLY TAKING THESE! Look out for other specific openings or YCHs instead :)
(these are only for close friends for now)
βοΈ -
maryw. Bust sketch 2 chars [paid] πβ± Wing-It Commissions:
CLOSED!
LINK TO FORM HERE
___βοΈ - VeloCat(Twt) - FORM - [Finished!]β
βοΈ -
Kuraio - FORM - [Finished!]β
βοΈ -
cloudypaw91 - FORM - [Finished!]β
βοΈ -
nexyb - FORM - [Finished!]β
βοΈ - Lucariogaymer(bsky): - FORM - [Finished!]β
βοΈ -
waywardpossum - FORM - [Finished!]β
βοΈ -
gothickhaldia - FORM - [Inking ...]ββ± TG Sticker Commissions:
βοΈ - CLOSED
β± YCHs:
βοΈ - n/a
β Last updated: Dec 22nd 2025
(have a bepis while waitin'!)
---
πΌπ§π© π'π’ π¬πππ©ππ£π π€π£: π - n/a
β Last updated: Feb 2024
is long c:
*hugs you!*
Either way, Rin, I'll be with your side no matter the decision or choice you make; You need to do what is best for you, even if that includes things that may not feel as "the best" for others. And, to help others, I'm glad you have shared this.
At one point, everyone must understand that not everything is perfect, though some like yourself I could compare to it, and that there is a desert with hills that everyone must climb- and carefully go down.
Acie Vau.
Take care, Rin.