In case anyone missed it, my last grandmother is dying. I can't go to visit her, I'm just waiting for the news, and I don't know if I will go to the funeral. This is coming on the heels of my other grandma's death in May, which lead to a serious suicide attempt on my part. And throughout all of this, my landlord has been consistently trying to evict me and my roommates despite our records all showing that they are in the wrong; I'm trying to put together some sort of legal defense. This is on top of two solid years of bad stuff happening constantly before it reached the point it’s at now. And I'm in grad school.

A few people have asked to help. I'm not much on ideas for that right now, but if you want to help and are able, here's what I can think of right now. Don’t feel bad if you can’t do any of these things, it’s okay and it happens. Just don’t leave comments saying you want to but can’t; those add to the stress for me.

Texting
I don't like to talk to many people. If we're close enough that you already have my number, I am usually in need of someone to talk to at night when things get bad. Let me know if you're okay with being on my suicide prevention text list. I don't always want to talk about things there, either, and might just want a distraction from the constant stress and pain or I just need someone to quickly knock me out of a bad place mentally. Don't expect any calls; it's very rare that I call anyone since I'm pretty introverted. If I mostly only know you from here or conventions, please don't be offended if I don't take you up on any offers to talk.

Money
It's sad to say, but it's not untrue. I live down to the dollar every month with nothing to spare. If you can and want to, I can always use a few extra bucks to buy dog food and pay off bills. I have a Ko-fiband Patreons on my profile page and my general PayPal is zebitsofthegodsATgmailDOTcom Please don’t send money if you can’t afford to.

Art and or writing
I haven't done much in the way of original work in a long time but I still appreciate art of favorite characters from media I like as well as old or new OCs of mine. It just reminds me that people haven't forgotten about me entirely in a tangible way.

Funny or interesting videos
I like funny animal videos, news reporters screwing up on camera, and documentaries (nature, space, science). Send some favourites and things that make you laugh.

I'll add more if I can think of anything. Thank you to anyone who's read this far. I don't want to go back to the state I was in over the summer but I don't really know what to do to stop it from happening. If you guys have any suggestions, I'm happy to hear them. Yes, I see a therapist, take meds, and have signed up for jiu jitsu. It's not much but it's what I got. I journal too. Thanks for any help folks.