*inhales; exhales*

It's time to be serious, all. No jokes, no silliness. None of that until I'm done with entry.
This is something I've been mulling over for months now.

I am no longer happy with this account. I've stuck with it for YEARS and I was miserable. I foolishly believed that "next year, they'll finally add that new Rename Account button!" "Another year by, THIS time they will!". I'm not throwing shade at the staff. I understand they're busy. We all are these days, right? So, I'll put it behind me. And, how will I do this? I'm retiring Thattomboywiththehats. Yep. Why is that? Well, I'll explain below.

My recent feelings due to my odd "gender dysphoria" as I'll put it is one of many reasons. I do not like or do I anymore refer to myself as a "tomboy". I do not feel like a "female" (except during an unfortunate time of the month, but I digress). I refer to myself as "genderfluid", but that feels wrong, too. I don't FEEL FEMALE. That is the point. Why did I feel "wrong" playing as female characters, but "right" as males? I FEEL male. However, due to my VERY intolerant and homophobic/transphobic/and all around ignorant family, I allowed them to constantly misgender me and anytime I want to be called "sir" or a "guy", it's followed with snickers, smiles, or fake apologies. The rest of the family, due to how... toxic they are (in ways outside of, but including this), I don't bring it up.
I feel male. I do not want to call myself trans just yet. Or maybe at all. I do not have an issue with trans people, that's for sure! I'm the only one... (In my family, I mean! 😬) But, it's because I'm not sure YET if that's what I am. If you get what I mean. I'm just an odd case of someone who's biologically "female" who feels mentally (and semi-physically) "male". If that makes sense. If that counts as trans or something similar, that's what I am, then!
(Again, out of fear of being an intolerant prick like the rest of my family, I try not to talk about this stuff, to not seem like a "phony", but it's something that's bugged me for years. I was always called a "tomboy" for this stuff, but a tomboy has to be "female" and be "masculine", right? Not... "Feel like a man". But, eh.)
(Again, if I worded this offensively, don't yell. I'm sorry. I'm trying not to offend anyone. I'm trying to put it as best as I can. I have a hard time expressing my feelings correctly.)
(Edit: To be honest, I may be trans. The more I look up my feelings and such, it seems to be so.)

Secondly, my name is a parody of The Nostalgia Critic. Of whom, I'm no longer a huge fan of. I still watch his stuff, not gonna lie. But, the me that liked his good ol' material is gone. (Edit: Eh, can't bring myself to watch him now. His new reviews are boring.) Because of this alone, I will no longer EVER make parody usernames. I often find that people I like and follow and are friends with sometimes tend to disappoint me. When I find out they aren't who I thought they were or have changed for the worst, I just avoid them altogether. And, because of that, any names of someone I no longer like just makes me bitter towards myself for being a stupid fanboy over them and mad at how they no longer the same. But, I've matured. I'm a 23-year-old. Not a child. I know it is silly to feel such a way towards a total stranger. I know it's silly to feel that way towards people who have changed. And, as such, I am cutting out those people from my life. But, I'll explain more on that later. Long story short, I am not a tomboy and I have a few hats I barely celebrate anymore to make my "thing". I have one hat and it's the "dumb white Dixie cup". (I barely draw my persona now, but I digress. XD)

Thirdly, I want a fresh start. I'll miss this account, but I seriously made it at the butt end of one of the WORST YEARS IN HISTORY SO FAR. I might have as well made it in 2016! I held onto it because of the fact I'm nostalgic and sentimental over the 4-and-a-half years I spent on here. ...having Aspergers does that to ya. Or at least to me. I've always been a hoarder in real life and the digital world. I won't delete old submissions that are just a messy or uncolored WIP, why? I'm sentimental. I upload multiple... somewhat useless alts., why? Sentimental. I'm cold and unfeeling, yet a sweet I'll sap at the same time. Oh, you didn't know I was cold and sardonic irl? You do now. I try to be happier online and I mostly am! I meet people with similar interests to mine! Something I can't do offline. So, I'm more closed off and hate interacting with other humans. (Remember, social interaction is hard and being bullIed every year of school straight (by both the teachers AND students, no less!) makes you a fricking MISANTHROPE.) But, I digress before you think I'm more of a dick than I already am. This isn't about my life, this is about why I'm moving! Which brings me to my next point:

I've attracted people to this account that I regret now. I know that sounds UNBELIEVABLY MEAN from ol' Rig, but... I have. I'm not naming names. But, they and I will no long "hang". Their behavior has made me uncomfortable, to the point where I'm barring access to this and my next account from now on. Again, I'm sorry for this sounding mean. I know it seems rude, as some people are just who they are, but certain things people do make me uneasy. My decision to remove them from my life and any forms of further communication online and abroad should not be questioned. Now. If the parties I speak of circumvent themselves around my blocks, they will be reported. I do not want trouble. Do not make a fuss or witchhunt. I will not tolerate being slandered online. I have every right to feel as though those who've done me wrong should have nothing to do with me.
(Warning: Angry Vent.)
And, DO NOT. AND, I MEAN DO NOT BOTHER ME IN REAL LIFE IN ANY WAY, SHAPE, OR FORM. That is HARASSMENT. I DO NOT owe you my time. I DO NOT owe you my attention. I DO NOT OWE YOU EVERY SINGLE SECOND, MINUTE, HOUR, DAY, WEEK, MONTH, YEAR, DECADE, MILLENNIUM, CENTURY, AND EON OF MY TIME! I AM NOT YOUR CHILD, PET, SLAVE, ANDROID, OR PLAYTHING, GOT IT? I AM NOT YOURS. YOU DO NOT OWN ME. I HAVE OTHER PEOPLE TO TALK TO ONLINE. I AM NOT IGNORING YOU. PLEASE STOP. I AM NOT BEING RUDE WHEN I HAVE TO GO OFFLINE. I HAVE TO SLEEP. I HAVE TO GO HOME. I HAVE WORK TO DO. I DID NOT COME ONLINE SOLELY TO ENTERTAIN YOU. (/end rant)
I apologize for getting real, but the more I thought about it later, the angrier I got. I just needed to vent.

Now, on a more positive note.

I want to express that... If it wasn't for a certain longtime friend of mine, heck, I'll even say BEST FRIEND, I would have never fully joined the fandom. I was always a dirty furry, ever since I was yeeted out the womb (eloquently put by a certain gentlemen), so I love you fuzzballs and scalebutts and featherheads and all of freaks of nature, but because of THIS GUY, I wouldn't have joined the site and have FULLY assimilated into furrydom. I don't want to say his name, because of me dragging unwanted attention to him (unless he says it's okay!), but thank you man. You know who you are. 😏

If I didn't (ahem) "sever ties" with you, you are okay in my book and free to follow/not follow my new account. Something I feared was losing all my watchers, but like... How many of them are still active here/talk on my account to even matter??? Haha
Hey, never know what'll happen on a new horizon, huh? I might make them all back! Or not. And, that's okay. I just want to relax from now on.

Because of a nagging fear in the back of my head that I'm going to attract a bunch of stupid trolls that'll make accounts so I can't claim the name, I'm not disclosing it. I'm still deciding if it's what I want to go with. I want a "generic" word to be my "brand" of sorts, like Steam or Valve or Nic-
Never mind.
But, yes, it's a secret!


Here's a rundown.
- This account will be retired. I will not be disabling/deleting this account, okay? I will not be moving everything to Scraps. I will be archiving it. It will stay as is. I just won't be using it. I will monitor the account. Don't trash it, hankers.
- I will be indefinitely/permanently closing commissions both on this and my new account. I will be indefinitely/permanently closing art trades as well. Requests and such are still permanently closed. I only do gift art for people I deem to close friends, okay? That's it. I want to focus on personal art. I AM developing a series. I don't mean to seem like a pompous arse, but I put it off enough and it's more important. I have every right to want to dedicate time for it. If you have a problem with this, you're not a close friend. (I'll explain why in another journal).
- I will be answering back people until I make the new account and move. Afterwards, I'm disabling comments, notes, shouts, etc.
- I AM NOT MAKING THE ACCOUNT THIS MONTH. I WILL ANNOUNCE WHEN IT'S BEEN CREATED. I WOULD NOT MAKE AN ACCOUNT THIS FAST. IT WILL BE AT THE PERFECT MOMENT. IF SOMEONE MAKES AN ACCOUNT THIS MONTH AND UPLOADS MY ART, THEY ARE A TROLL, PLEASE REPORT THEM.
(Edit: I posted this so late, that I AM, but not until I announce it here.)
- Spoike is the last thing I'm posting on here. I'll post the other Krypto month entries later. My last journal on here will the new account announcement. Afterwards, please go to my new account, this one will be abandoned. FA, PLEASE, this account still matters to me, don't delete it!

Edit (09/16/19): UGH
NOW I SEE OTHER PEOPLE DOING IT, I FEEL LIKE I'M COPYING THEM NOW! Like I don't ALREADY feel like I don't have a unique personality and all I do is follow trends/do things that "normal" people do! WHATEVER. I'm not doing it this month anyway, I don't know why I care!

Edit (09/29/19):
Never mind, I don't care. I don't about anything anymore. (OH MY GOSH NOT IN A SUICIDAL WAY!) I mean, I'm letting go of petty things like follower count and doing things at a "certain time" to get more comments/faves/whatever. I'll get attention from the people who TRULY care about me. As such, I'll dump my art when I do and just wait. I'm drawing fanart of obscure and favorite characters of mine to make ME happy. I'll draw the ugly ones I hate as poll winners on Patreon or something, Idk. I need to finish art of MY characters, as I want commissions of them and because of my odd mindset, if I don't visualize them immediately, I forget what I wanted them to look like. *-*

This thing has gotten long enough. This is not my final journal on here, just an explanation. I will be slowly disabling and shutting down certain things on here. I will be answering back old messages and comments. From there on, after I move, I won't respond to them anymore, hence me disabling comments. Thank you all for joining me on here for technically 6 years! I really appreciate you all, but I'm starting a new life on another account, just feel free to follow me there for more!