Monogamy isn't selfish, that's just silly. It just seems folks aren't ready to settle down, or still trapped in the reverie that they don't want to end. As someone who avoid relationships whenever possible, I can't offer anything substantial other than for some people it's not even about committing to a single person that's the issue, it's committing to anybody at all.

I acknowledge and empathise.

Yeah...people that refuse a monogamous relationship don't want a relationship at all, they want to freely fork any fool that falls in their lap. Good on you for actually wanting to find a pairing that will last!

An open can become a thing, but just not off the bat, just not something I feel comfortable with from the start, it's not a high possibility but it's still out there if I find the right person.

I think it's sweet to be in a monogamous relationship. It just makes the time spent spent together (and the sex) just much more divine. Just that one special someone.

That's how I feel about it, but it's a tough market to find that.

And dont let your peers tell you what kind of relationship you should, and should not have. Thats pretty close minded of themto tell you those kinds of relationships are selfish. And even then, theres nothing wrong with a little harmless flirting with others. It's all about what your ok with.

Amen. Its always an excuse based around sex with others. "Oh they are too horny for a monogamous relationship"

I've seen so many gay guys IRL and furries think of a mono relationship as 'paranoid' or 'selfish'. I'm not mad at closed relationships or even open relationships, but calling someone selfish because two people only want to stay with eachother shouldn't be seen as selfish.

I been in my relationship with my husband for over 7 years, not monogamous.

It's not that people are selfish on either side, it's that more people can make it work nowadays.

Me and my husband are as happy as can be, and he is the one I shall take to my grave when we pass.

Besides, sex isn't this holy matrimony thing like in Christianity or whatever. Sex is only a benefit, not a mandatory. I'm more asexual anyway, and my husband is what is important.

I may not be monogamous. But the butts always come last, while his wants and needs comes first.

We're happy, we make it work, and that's what is important.

What I find selfish though, is people bringing crude assumptions about others who are not monogamous; just because you and the rest of the commentators see things differently and cant make things work for themselves.

Let people love how they want to be loved. It's ain't your business to judge.

You wanna be mono? Good. Don't bring us non-mono into question, just cause you cant find someone.

If I was single, I'd find this shit socially disgusting and unattractive of you to judge another person for closed-minded reasons.

Oh, I didn't mean to come off as I'm upset at open relationships and the people that do them or how they operate them, that was not my intention and I apologize if it looks that way. I'm just not wanting an open relationship right off the bat when I manage to find someone, last two guys I was trying to kick it off only gave me a "no" to monogamy at the start and I even asked what reason, and all I got was terse answers. Just wanting to focus on just the two of us when it starts and then discuss if an open relationship would be a possibility. Though being called selfish for not wanting an open relationship at the start did hit pretty damn hard...

Again, I apologize an didn't mean to come off the way it looks like, that is my bad.

If your actually apologetic, you'll change the wording of this journal; or just delete the whole thing.

Cause it's closed minded people like Takurai and Rage, that others will feel judged upon reading.

Fun, more socially disgusting people, it seems. How quaint.

Not to mention that prep comment you also made, was just as horrible for people who just want to feel safe; mono or non-mono.

Laughable.

Never told him to give it up. In fact, not a single word above said he should or shouldn't.

Fact check before you run your assumptions through someone's ear.

And sure, he telling people who are on Prep think they "prevent all things" is a very delightful comment, yeah?

I'm sorry you've had a hard time finding someone whom is monogamous. Just imagine how hard it is for people whom are poly to find someone in a largely monogamous society! That said, the LGBT communities have pushed closer to the polygamous side of things, mostly since the social structures doesn't entirely support monogamous relationships. We are too prone to unrest locally, with being able to be fired randomly from jobs and not having fully protected rights in many parts of the country. Between that and losing support structures of family, friends, etc.. it becomes difficult for the nuclear family option to succeed.

This is especially true when one person cannot make enough to easily support two people. Openly LGBT individuals tend to earn less than their straight counterparts in most fields, as well.

So when you add together the financial, emotional and psychological effects all of this has on an individual, is it any wonder why someone would want to find people who fill those needs? It's likely going to require more than one person.

I'd like to bring to attention that I didn't talk about sex. At all. Because polygamy is not necessarily sexual in nature. It's about forming a relationship with multiple people and, with luck, understanding that needs may not be available from one single individual. That can work for some, but not everyone. As with any relationship, a proper polygamist relationship involves trust, honesty, consideration for the others' feelings and more importantly, love.

I get your frustrations, and hope you find someone dear to you whom will make you happy, and love you for who you are, and accept who you want to become. Someone who makes you a better -you-.