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Halloween Special Announcement: Five Fights at Freddy's!
6 years ago
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Ladies and gentlemen, the days are getting short, the nights long, the skies grey and the trees red. That means it's time for Halloween, the bloodiest, spookiest, and most deliciously violent time of the year, and what better way to celebrate it than with a match card that gives a new meaning to the term "Survivor Series." You'll find all sorts of specials on Halloween night, but why settle for second place when you can see bouts in in the arena with the bloodiest history of any of them... FAZBEAR PIZZERIA!*
From the 26th to 31st, we will be celebrating Halloween with a Five Nights at Freddy's themed extravaganza! Get ready as a collection of furry fighters go mano-a-mechano with horrific animatronics of Hurricane, Utah. For five nights only (and any time you want to look it up on my FA I guess) five familiar faces do battle with the malicious machines of Freddy Fazbear's Pizza, in a best three of five match series where only the winners leave alive.
Opening the show, it's my very own hyena, Andre
lefarr, taking on Chica Chicken! Though his record may not be the most favorable, the hyena has been able to take down some impressive foes, including a handicap battle with Pai Chan and Spitfire, AND Equestria's Princess herself, Princess Celestia. Will he be able to bring that same dominance to the table against the ever-ready chicken, or should we change her bib to "Let's Fuck"?
Then, our second match of the night, we will see the cretaceous crusher herself,
handofblades's one and only Angel take a dive in Pirate's Cove against Foxy the Pirate. The Tyrannosaurus is known for her love of bringing her teeth out in a battle, but how will she fair when she goes jaw-to-jaw with the fox with a taste for flesh? Has the prehistoric powerhouse bitten off more than she can chew, or will the swashbuckling fox be the one with a black mark? With two of the toothiest competitors ever to but mouth to skull in the arena, the loser will end up missing a lot more than a frontal lobe. The anticipation is high for this one, and while the line on this is too close to call, the Tooth Fairy expects to go broke either way!
Next up, we get into the heart of the card with the only machine-on-machine matchup of the night. Making her debut in the
technophile34 commission Unplanned Obsolescence, Britney the Lopunny Doll will test her technology against Bonny the Bunny. She's coming into this with a losing record but a winning reputation. The question is if the advanced AI of the pokedoll will be enough to render the aging animatronic obsolete, or will she find out the truth in the old saying "They don't make them like they used to"? However it ends, these two bot-bodied battlers are looking to remind you why "Blood" is only half of the phrase "Blood and Gore"
In our co-main-event for the evening, we will see's iron-clitted hyena matriarch will get the privilege (or punishment) of battling the bloody bruin himself, Freddy Fazbear. She's lead hyenas into battle, opponents into graves, and still somehow found time to raise one of the toughest, hottest, meanest female fighters in the business. Her accomplishments are undeniable, but as the saying goes, all anyone remembers is your last match - And if she isn't careful, that's exactly what this one will be. When the brutal bandleader begins to play, can her show go on, or will she be yet another mother about to have the worst day of her life in this so-called family restaurant?
And of course, we have the main event. While has put a few fighters forward, it will be the ball(bashing) python himself who steps into the ring to finish out the night. But with all four bots brought out already, who does he fight? Zavis is looking for an animatronic addition to his list of victories, but which one - Or is it just one - This sexfighting snake will try to send to the scrap heap is but one of the many secrets the restaurant hides. Who will challenge the slithering slaughterer? A Withered? A Toy? One of the Golds? Perhaps even Balloon Boy?
This is one FNaF question even Matthew Patrick can't answer, so you'll just have to tune in on Halloween night to find out.
But, uh, just saying, it's not Balloon Boy.
*This ad copy was written prior to the announcement of WWE's Crown Jewel and Ludus Catulli would like to apologize for any outdated information found within. Refunds will be provided if requested in person at Freddy Fazbear's Pizzeria, Hurricane, Utah. Lucius Horatius Catullus, Ludus Catulli, and associated parties are not responsible for any injury resulting from attempts to claim the refund.
From the 26th to 31st, we will be celebrating Halloween with a Five Nights at Freddy's themed extravaganza! Get ready as a collection of furry fighters go mano-a-mechano with horrific animatronics of Hurricane, Utah. For five nights only (and any time you want to look it up on my FA I guess) five familiar faces do battle with the malicious machines of Freddy Fazbear's Pizza, in a best three of five match series where only the winners leave alive.
Opening the show, it's my very own hyena, Andre
lefarr, taking on Chica Chicken! Though his record may not be the most favorable, the hyena has been able to take down some impressive foes, including a handicap battle with Pai Chan and Spitfire, AND Equestria's Princess herself, Princess Celestia. Will he be able to bring that same dominance to the table against the ever-ready chicken, or should we change her bib to "Let's Fuck"? Then, our second match of the night, we will see the cretaceous crusher herself,
handofblades's one and only Angel take a dive in Pirate's Cove against Foxy the Pirate. The Tyrannosaurus is known for her love of bringing her teeth out in a battle, but how will she fair when she goes jaw-to-jaw with the fox with a taste for flesh? Has the prehistoric powerhouse bitten off more than she can chew, or will the swashbuckling fox be the one with a black mark? With two of the toothiest competitors ever to but mouth to skull in the arena, the loser will end up missing a lot more than a frontal lobe. The anticipation is high for this one, and while the line on this is too close to call, the Tooth Fairy expects to go broke either way!Next up, we get into the heart of the card with the only machine-on-machine matchup of the night. Making her debut in the
technophile34 commission Unplanned Obsolescence, Britney the Lopunny Doll will test her technology against Bonny the Bunny. She's coming into this with a losing record but a winning reputation. The question is if the advanced AI of the pokedoll will be enough to render the aging animatronic obsolete, or will she find out the truth in the old saying "They don't make them like they used to"? However it ends, these two bot-bodied battlers are looking to remind you why "Blood" is only half of the phrase "Blood and Gore" In our co-main-event for the evening, we will see
's iron-clitted hyena matriarch will get the privilege (or punishment) of battling the bloody bruin himself, Freddy Fazbear. She's lead hyenas into battle, opponents into graves, and still somehow found time to raise one of the toughest, hottest, meanest female fighters in the business. Her accomplishments are undeniable, but as the saying goes, all anyone remembers is your last match - And if she isn't careful, that's exactly what this one will be. When the brutal bandleader begins to play, can her show go on, or will she be yet another mother about to have the worst day of her life in this so-called family restaurant? And of course, we have the main event. While
has put a few fighters forward, it will be the ball(bashing) python himself who steps into the ring to finish out the night. But with all four bots brought out already, who does he fight? Zavis is looking for an animatronic addition to his list of victories, but which one - Or is it just one - This sexfighting snake will try to send to the scrap heap is but one of the many secrets the restaurant hides. Who will challenge the slithering slaughterer? A Withered? A Toy? One of the Golds? Perhaps even Balloon Boy? This is one FNaF question even Matthew Patrick can't answer, so you'll just have to tune in on Halloween night to find out.
But, uh, just saying, it's not Balloon Boy.
*This ad copy was written prior to the announcement of WWE's Crown Jewel and Ludus Catulli would like to apologize for any outdated information found within. Refunds will be provided if requested in person at Freddy Fazbear's Pizzeria, Hurricane, Utah. Lucius Horatius Catullus, Ludus Catulli, and associated parties are not responsible for any injury resulting from attempts to claim the refund.
