Over the internet and over the very short/long time i've been on it i've gotten tones of love and hate, compliments and slurs etc, but at work recently i've been bombarded ith a shit load of compliments and thank yous and im just i legit dont know how to deal with them my body just stops working, i get sick to my stomach and want to throw up. Like just today i have a friend at work and hes like. "Hey i really appreciate you and you being my friend it really meant a lot that you asked how i was doing yesterday and i want you to know it meant so much to me." And the only thing that came to mind was. "Holy fuck he's gonna kill himself! this is the shit people say before they die!" So what do i say? Yep whast on my fucking mind -w- im like. "You're not gonna jump off a bridge are you? You good fam? Im here if you need to talk." Like no you dumb fucking cunt he;s thanking you for being nice to him. but like...i dont get it...i legit have no idea how to take a compliment and be like. "Yeah sure no problem any time~" like i can online like irl is so different because its just out of no where...like there is this other girl who is an absolute thunder CUNT of a bitch and out of no where shes like "that was brilliant idea Art!" And i just freeze. like "Uhhhh...ummm." And i just fucking get back to work like i just shut the fuck down and i dont know what to do! I dont feel happiness or anger or anything out side of sickness and i see some weird alterior motive or something like i almost always ask myself. "What are you saying? what do you want? Why are you complimenting me, just tell me what you need from me! Tell me damn it!"