I don't think that its junk you wrote here, as your future plane are critical decisions in your life.
When you really fear that your family might abandon you, then prepare yourself that you can abandon them instead, so you have a way to life on your own or with a friend if the need arises.

Also it might help if you come out to someone in your family first who you think might support you even when its not a close relative, cause they could convince your parents if they don't agree with it or treat you badly.

Also when you think about telling them later keep it mind that your worry might hurt you more compared to actually go through with it.

It's not "childish" to talk about stuff like this. I'd imagine it feels very real to you. If posting about it on FA helps you then that's great but don't be afraid to talk about some of these things with people you trust. Gaining that independence is probably the best goal for you right now.

Actually it's pretty good getting all of your thoughts and anger out of your mind and express how you feel. I do it constantlty, writing, speaking with people who cares about me, and sometimes singing. It's not a childish complain, dude. We've been through for haqrd situations in our teenager age too. Take care

You are not alone, friend. There are many who share similar experience, and even more who're standing up to people who refuse to accept different people. You're not in the wrong, and you're FAR from childish.

If you're stressing out so bad that you feel unsafe with the people you live with because of who you are, that is a justifiable red flag as-is. You're doing the good thing working an earning to get out. There are many, many resources out there who're also more than happy to help you in your predicament. Many of them take no more than an email or a phone call to get you on the right track.

Whatever happens, stay safe. Your family is not obligated to know your homosexuality. That is private information only you can disclose to whomever you deem worthy. I've had several life-long friends who met severe obstacles because they couldn't resist letting slip who they love to homophobic guardians. I assure you, it's not worth it. They were anything but happy.

First, I just want to say that I am glad you’re still here. And I’m sure so many others too as well.

Paving your own way to independence is a very big challenge. If your family is not willing to support you, then you must support yourself (whether through friends, online resources, commissioners, or even Internet strangers). But I promise you, you will lead a better life if this is the case.

As others have said in the comments, your feeling and venting are normal and understandable. It is great that you’re venting out rather than keeping it inside of you. It is a great first step to healing.

Please take good care and if you ever need somebody to talk to, I would be happy to help. My PMs are open.

You deserve to be happy and live your life according to what applies to (you), and not what applies to others, or what they think should apply. I wish you much luck on the rest of your journey through this life and hope you are able to find the same peace and joy that you bring to so many with your work.

The more you will wait, the more you will lose time to explore that world. It's time to go the next step

Lie until you're in a safe place. It's for the better.
When you're in a safe place you can heal and get a proper and happy life.

Be brave, bold, calm, cool & collective, "Carpe Diem, seize the day" Take it, make it yours, good luck. *Gently Hugs"

Hope for the best. You’re a nice guy with great art

Hey. You.

Your feelings are valid, as are your concerns.

You are loved and wished well by others not in your home (including me!).

This website has useful resources, and people who can talk to you: https://www.thetrevorproject.org

If I can also lend a hand in some way, please feel free to reach out to me directly. Send a note, leave a shout, hit me up on a messenger, whatever is comfortable for you.

I would love to support you wanting to leave, it's not childish, your family is just making you feel like it is. You should be free to leave and enjoy your own life, if the family is in the way, even more reason to leave. It's a valid fear, coming out and them taking steps towards "fixing" you and suddenly you lost freedom and nobody helps because nobody wants to interfere with the family. I think you should save up and prepare yourself to leave so that if it comes to it, you're ready to be on your own and free that way.

i'm not exactly sure how it is over in malaysia regarding LGBTQ-sentiment..
..but if i am not mistaken on it after all, i should rather you say nothing, and at the very least wait until you are sure you can be independent from family before making the reveal

but who says you have to reveal anything?
if you absolutely must, just tell yer family that y'er choosing a life of celibacy — no intimate male/female relationships for you

a shame you cannot be who you are, in peace; a shame, really, we can't be open with our enjoyment of the same sex, as we please

For some time I also felt the same way, it was really depressing. There's this thought that helped me: "There's no one like me, dying would mean that no one would get to experience ME, and I am way to good not to be an experience!"

Being on the same situation, I can relate. Maybe we can even get to share it with other people, the important thing is that YOU are above everyone else, it's YOU what matters.

Here ends my thought

Gald you found the path and had the strength to not kill yourself. First off what you said wasn't at all rant from what I took it and stayed true to yourself. When people talks about killing themselves they are mostly in the mind set of feeling like their life has no value not for others but for themselves and that really hurts hearing people putting themselves down like that.
Not sure if this might help any but I spent 13+ years since I was 15 thinking that I might be Bi for the longest time but never been with anyone so I pushed it back and didn't give it much thought til 2013 when I was dating this women that was a friend of my sister's and we talked and see each other for about 2 to 3 months and well …...you know what happen next and it's a really long story that I won't bore you unless your interested. Anyway long story short she wanted to break up with me and I didn't hold a grudge against her and told her that was fine. So we went about our way and never talked to her to this day. After a year of giving myself time and reflecting I've came to figure out that I'm gay and at first it sounded both unusual and somehow great. It's kind of hard to explain it but I guess the word I'm looking for is that it feels right maybe.

Than I started telling my family starting in March 2014 that I'm gay with my older sister first than a week later my younger sister and than my niece , granny , and finally mom. The last person I told was my dad because of his religion being a Muslim and also had thoughts of what he would say to me but surprisingly on July 2014 when we were coming back from the Islamic Center because I've always gone with him to the center since I was maybe 9 10-ish. He wanted to give me his Quran but I politely told him no thanks and I said "At least god will love me no matter what right?" and my dad responded "of course" followed by me saying "Even though I'm gay?". That was when my dad's back was facing me and he stood there and for the first time he was quite for at least a minute not moving or saying anything. It was a first for me to see him in that state as I didn't know what he was gonna say let alone do. He turns around and walks over to a chair and was thinking that it was all that tv I watch in a normal tone but I explain to him that it wasn't cause of tv. He than ask me how do I know? and I answered back that I had over 13+ years and plenty of time to fully know and I even told him about the women I dated that he didn't know about.

My dad was surprisingly kool and level headed and finally asked me "Why am I telling him this now?". That question was honestly easier for me and told him "I wanted to tell you and the family first in case I ever do bring home a guy I date and don't wanna make you guys feel awkward about it because I love my family and have a lot of respect to you dad". He walks over and gives me a hug and tells me that rather I'm straight or gay doesn't matter to him cause it doesn't change the fact that you'll always be my son and will always love you. I was worried about something but turned out to be nothing in the end. I stopped going to the Islamic center after telling him and funny enough about a couple years later my dad ended up stop going too even though I told him he can continue going if he wanted because it wasn't my place to tell him not to go over me. He tells me that it wasn't cause of me but he's honestly been thinking of stop going there for other reasons that I won't bored you with.

Reason why I'm saying all of this is if I was to ever think of killing myself I would be ungrateful and selfish honestly because I'll be hurting people that loves and cares for me while at the same time I can't let people control what I'm able to do or how to feel. I'm not perfect nor is anyone really I have major flaws and I'm sure others do too but I think what we think of them as flaws or maybe more so weird habits are kind of what makes us human and relatable with imperfections. If everyone was so perfect we wouldn't have emotions , feelings , and most importantly the power to think for yourself. Hope this is ok to say and type all this and that you or anyone finds this to be of any help and keep being your fabulous awesome gay furry self dude !.