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Doing the Phoenix Thing… X3
6 years ago
So, I’m starting to get art done on a more regular basis nowadays, and a few of you have taken notice on one platform or another. First, I want to thank anyone who hasn’t given up on me over the last few years ^v^ anyone who takes time to view my art for even a moment deserves thanks in my book. Without you, I’m just drawing pictures in a void ovo
To that measure, I feel I owe anyone who’s liked my work this apology for such a thorough disappearance for several years. For those curious, here’s a run-down of what’s been keeping me busy:
1. I moved. Mid 2015, I moved from my hometown where I grew up and spent 16 years (still more than half my life!) Moved from under my parent’s roof for the first time, left a pretty decent paying job where I was comfortable, and left the town that I knew like the back of my hand for a considerably larger city. It was tough, and I almost bailed out and moved back after 2 months.
2. Career Shift. As mentioned, I left a comfortable situation and office job to seek more of a challenge. And a challenge I DID GET! X3 It hurts to mention it, but I took what amounts to a janitor job for 2 months when I first moved. Lousy work, lousy pay, unstable hours. I was lucky to find a new office job rather quickly before the end of the year. This one was a different business: I first worked in health insurance, now I work with pre-paid bank card in the Fraud Department. I had ZERO experience, but given the opportunity, I took it and dedicated my time to it. Still working tough hours and having no energy for artwork at the time, it was worth it to secure a permanent job.
Not only was I a good dedicated employee, I was on track to get promoted to management. I spent the better part of the last four years going from Shift Lead to Department supervisor and almost made it to Manager, each stop consuming more and more of my free time. At its worst, I was working 14 hour days, spending an ADDITIONAL 1 to 2 hours working at home each day, every other weekend would be worked, and when I managed to get a vacation, I would work through those too.
Evidently, my work time commitments have decreased dramatically, due to I stepped out of the management race and I’m in more of an analytical role now. My hours are stable and consistent. I’m salaried and best of all, no longer micro-managed ~v~ I still feel more or less fulfilled at my job ^v^
3. Shift in Artistic values and Goals. This in no way means that doing art has become any less important to me. If anything, it’s become an all too necessary outlet for me, and if I feel cut off from it in any way, I get emotionally unsettled ~v~ I still would do sketches and occasionally color and finish a piece to completion (see my annual Rebecca pics) but being away from a regular art routine did offer room for evaluating what thoughts, feelings and motivations go into my art. One of the biggest shifts being getting more comfortable using references or saving “inspiration pieces” for later. I don’t know how the idea ever gets instilled in a young artist that using references for their drawings, researching techniques or saving a picture they like because it gives them ideas or inspiration makes them any less accomplished of an artist. I don’t know how anyone would survive without it! Maybe it’s an overt fear of “art-theft” (which is VERY much bad) but doing honest research and practice is WORLDS different from art theft.
I also take more time and patience with my art nowadays. I’ll sketch/draw a piece several times over before arriving at a final product. I wouldn’t EVER do that before. It was always “THIS HAS TO BE FINISHED AND POSTED AND LOVED BY EVERYONE OR ELSE IT IS FAIL!” I’m not like that anymore ^v^’ I promise. Which makes this next point more honest:
4. I Wasn’t Satisfied with Legacy of the Phoenix. Which is to say, I always felt like I could do better. Not only could I do better, but I almost deliberately held back from doing better. I held myself to self-imposed deadlines to force motivation. I spun stories in an improvised manner that felt good at the time, but felt unfulfilled when looking back on them. There is SO MUCH MORE to my characters now. I’ve taken more time to craft them, shape them, and criticize what they should be. I’m still figuring some things out, but I love the newer ideas that I have and want to do them justice. I know it’s a lofty goal, to have people love White Fire and Rebecca as much as I love them, but it’s a goal worth having and striving for. It’s ACTUAL motivation! At too many points, trying to continue my comic in its current state, feels like a chore rather than a passion. But that’s the pivot point: CURRENT state. I am going to continue to make my story in comic form, but it will be starting over. As an honest realization I’ve had to come to, the amateurish, low-quality beginnings of the story have become a past that weighs down the future of what I want to do. I’ve learned so much more, and my ideas have grown so much that I desperately want to give the story a fresh start. I hope anyone who reads this will want it as much as I do.
TLDR: I moved, had a stressful job, “grew as an artist” and want to start the comic over X3
There should be more regular postings from me ^v^ sketches, WIPs and I’m also doing commissions here and there, not on any strict schedule, but to help keep things fresh in my art cycle.
I love you all, and thank you for being patient with this old, silly bird ^v^
… btw, I’m 30 now X3
To that measure, I feel I owe anyone who’s liked my work this apology for such a thorough disappearance for several years. For those curious, here’s a run-down of what’s been keeping me busy:
1. I moved. Mid 2015, I moved from my hometown where I grew up and spent 16 years (still more than half my life!) Moved from under my parent’s roof for the first time, left a pretty decent paying job where I was comfortable, and left the town that I knew like the back of my hand for a considerably larger city. It was tough, and I almost bailed out and moved back after 2 months.
2. Career Shift. As mentioned, I left a comfortable situation and office job to seek more of a challenge. And a challenge I DID GET! X3 It hurts to mention it, but I took what amounts to a janitor job for 2 months when I first moved. Lousy work, lousy pay, unstable hours. I was lucky to find a new office job rather quickly before the end of the year. This one was a different business: I first worked in health insurance, now I work with pre-paid bank card in the Fraud Department. I had ZERO experience, but given the opportunity, I took it and dedicated my time to it. Still working tough hours and having no energy for artwork at the time, it was worth it to secure a permanent job.
Not only was I a good dedicated employee, I was on track to get promoted to management. I spent the better part of the last four years going from Shift Lead to Department supervisor and almost made it to Manager, each stop consuming more and more of my free time. At its worst, I was working 14 hour days, spending an ADDITIONAL 1 to 2 hours working at home each day, every other weekend would be worked, and when I managed to get a vacation, I would work through those too.
Evidently, my work time commitments have decreased dramatically, due to I stepped out of the management race and I’m in more of an analytical role now. My hours are stable and consistent. I’m salaried and best of all, no longer micro-managed ~v~ I still feel more or less fulfilled at my job ^v^
3. Shift in Artistic values and Goals. This in no way means that doing art has become any less important to me. If anything, it’s become an all too necessary outlet for me, and if I feel cut off from it in any way, I get emotionally unsettled ~v~ I still would do sketches and occasionally color and finish a piece to completion (see my annual Rebecca pics) but being away from a regular art routine did offer room for evaluating what thoughts, feelings and motivations go into my art. One of the biggest shifts being getting more comfortable using references or saving “inspiration pieces” for later. I don’t know how the idea ever gets instilled in a young artist that using references for their drawings, researching techniques or saving a picture they like because it gives them ideas or inspiration makes them any less accomplished of an artist. I don’t know how anyone would survive without it! Maybe it’s an overt fear of “art-theft” (which is VERY much bad) but doing honest research and practice is WORLDS different from art theft.
I also take more time and patience with my art nowadays. I’ll sketch/draw a piece several times over before arriving at a final product. I wouldn’t EVER do that before. It was always “THIS HAS TO BE FINISHED AND POSTED AND LOVED BY EVERYONE OR ELSE IT IS FAIL!” I’m not like that anymore ^v^’ I promise. Which makes this next point more honest:
4. I Wasn’t Satisfied with Legacy of the Phoenix. Which is to say, I always felt like I could do better. Not only could I do better, but I almost deliberately held back from doing better. I held myself to self-imposed deadlines to force motivation. I spun stories in an improvised manner that felt good at the time, but felt unfulfilled when looking back on them. There is SO MUCH MORE to my characters now. I’ve taken more time to craft them, shape them, and criticize what they should be. I’m still figuring some things out, but I love the newer ideas that I have and want to do them justice. I know it’s a lofty goal, to have people love White Fire and Rebecca as much as I love them, but it’s a goal worth having and striving for. It’s ACTUAL motivation! At too many points, trying to continue my comic in its current state, feels like a chore rather than a passion. But that’s the pivot point: CURRENT state. I am going to continue to make my story in comic form, but it will be starting over. As an honest realization I’ve had to come to, the amateurish, low-quality beginnings of the story have become a past that weighs down the future of what I want to do. I’ve learned so much more, and my ideas have grown so much that I desperately want to give the story a fresh start. I hope anyone who reads this will want it as much as I do.
TLDR: I moved, had a stressful job, “grew as an artist” and want to start the comic over X3
There should be more regular postings from me ^v^ sketches, WIPs and I’m also doing commissions here and there, not on any strict schedule, but to help keep things fresh in my art cycle.
I love you all, and thank you for being patient with this old, silly bird ^v^
… btw, I’m 30 now X3
Also, good to see you return.