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Good News... well, it gets good =P
18 years ago
Before I start saying anything else I just want to say "thank you" to those who gave a damn about what I was going though.. especially those who made the effort to say something to speak out, if it weren't for you and your posts/efforts then truly that tiny little spark left in me would surely have died away ages ago... again thank you.
I haven't been myself for a long time, I felt a drastic change and in essence as a spirit, as a being was beginning to die... I began to close off from everything and everyone.. slowly becoming more solid becoming less and less, hidden within these four walls. It was as though I had lost my purpose and was now loosing myself (I understand if this all doesn't seem real to any of you... I mean I'd never have believed it if I myself wasn't in it) The very thought of drawing made me boil up in such anger... it's like I had no worth/value... as it seemed like no matter what I did, no matter what I tried, it was virtually impossible for me to make a living or even scraps with my work and that's how I was measuring how good I was and my personal worth... I felt so utterly useless it's just not funny, but then (yes it gets better lol) a friend told me exactly how he felt, the impact my work had on his life... in that moment I just couldn't speak, I had to fight so hard to keep back the tears (as I am doing now just writing this), in my friends words I suddenly remembered everything, I remembered why I was doing this in the first place, I remembered my purpose! and it was never for the money, never for the praise... it was and always will be to inspire and help those around me and then just like that... a calm ran over me, over my entire freaking universe and do you know what I did next... what we did? We drew... and for the first time in what seems like an eternity, I absolutely loved it!
I apologize if this has felt long winded to any of you, I didn't want to hold back, I wanted all of you to know exactly how I felt and how I feel now. I said once before that I had "no success story to speak of" now I realize that simply isn't true, I am surrounded by truly special people, I sooo must have done something right in another life to have pulled you in lol. Thank you for listening to these written words of mine.
D.R
I haven't been myself for a long time, I felt a drastic change and in essence as a spirit, as a being was beginning to die... I began to close off from everything and everyone.. slowly becoming more solid becoming less and less, hidden within these four walls. It was as though I had lost my purpose and was now loosing myself (I understand if this all doesn't seem real to any of you... I mean I'd never have believed it if I myself wasn't in it) The very thought of drawing made me boil up in such anger... it's like I had no worth/value... as it seemed like no matter what I did, no matter what I tried, it was virtually impossible for me to make a living or even scraps with my work and that's how I was measuring how good I was and my personal worth... I felt so utterly useless it's just not funny, but then (yes it gets better lol) a friend told me exactly how he felt, the impact my work had on his life... in that moment I just couldn't speak, I had to fight so hard to keep back the tears (as I am doing now just writing this), in my friends words I suddenly remembered everything, I remembered why I was doing this in the first place, I remembered my purpose! and it was never for the money, never for the praise... it was and always will be to inspire and help those around me and then just like that... a calm ran over me, over my entire freaking universe and do you know what I did next... what we did? We drew... and for the first time in what seems like an eternity, I absolutely loved it!
I apologize if this has felt long winded to any of you, I didn't want to hold back, I wanted all of you to know exactly how I felt and how I feel now. I said once before that I had "no success story to speak of" now I realize that simply isn't true, I am surrounded by truly special people, I sooo must have done something right in another life to have pulled you in lol. Thank you for listening to these written words of mine.
D.R
Catch me on Yim sometime and we can talk a bit better, journels are kinda slow.
A person who still hope you feel he's a friend
Cheetah
I'm horrible at cheering people up, but I am sure as hell glad that you've made your re-entry back in view of the audience. There's allot of us that love your work! Glad to have you back!!
There's nothing like a good swift kick in the butt to make you realize stuff =P
For me, art is about to entertains people, mostly.
And most in the business always say: your will suffer until ya hit 30ish and then things will get better.
it's not only about drawing well, it's about experiences.
And you went into a stage then even I had, and it will make you better and stronger for it.
I believe you have great potential, you have great talent (I'm jalous actually) So just keep at it!.
It's not easy, if it was, everyone would be a professional artist.
But you have something that no one else have, hope to make a living from your imagination. =)
Thumbs up to you.
BUt, anyways, I am glad to hear that you have once again reignited that spark that allows artwork to have meaning once again. Artwork can indeed have some type of at times almost mystical quality about it, making us wonder how and why we do things, as well as where certain ideas seem to spring from, you know? Is it just some random culmination of thouhts, or, is it possible that *At least to what I believe to an extent* that, maybe in some times, we in a sense, can see snapshots or perhaps even mild "movie clips" of things involving our, or other people's characters in some alternate realm of existance.
It seems that maybe you in a sense, seemed to feel as though something seemed to leave you, like maybe the essense of the art seemed to leave you & that this friend seemed to be able to help you remember what it meant to enjoy art again and that indeed, art is more so about making people feel better & it is for the fun of drawing it, not so much about what can you get for doing art when thinking in physical gain so to speak, you know? For I am sure that knowing your art touched this persons heart in such a manners made you feel that maybe it could be the same for a great many others as well. So it in a sense, filled you with a great amount of pure positive energies or something to onve again do art, you know?
I apologize if this reply seems rather large, but when I am tired, one could say my mind seems to alter into a dofferent mindset & seems to jyst be able to spew out this info that could potentially be considered "wisdom" or something, you know? I at times wonder if in a sense, if this knoweledge comes from my character or perhaps maybe it comes from myself in the guise of my character, if any of that even makes any sense at all.
But, perhaps I shall stop talking now so as to not sound like some rambling idiot or something ok? Also, I apologize for any typos that may be in this reply ok>