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I think I'm kinda done with family gatherings.
6 years ago
I'm not gonna lie, my Thanksgiving vacation was shit. It has shown just how irresponsible I am for my own actions when my anxiety peaks, it has shown just how irresponsible Dad is for his own actions if he's making me uncomfortable, and it shows how mindlessly defensive of him my sister is literally because "family." She doesn't respect my needs, she doesn't respect my loss of anger control, and I think she needs to be better informed if she wants me to not go back to hating her, or hating her even worse than I used to.
I'm going to opt out of all future family gatherings and vacations until further notice so I can seek out my therapist and address this series of problems head-on instead of sitting here moping about it. I don't care if I'm required to see her every week. In fact, I welcome that. Because I need the attention and I need exercises and mental conditioning.
I can't let this get any worse than it already has, and I also can't let anything else interrupt me from chasing my dream to be an IT, especially if it's fucking stupid family bullshit. And while we're on the subject, I'm spending Christmas alone. Only, I'm not gonna be alone, I'm gonna be among friends. Because my online friends are literally better than my idiot family. I need to be surrounded by people who actually fucking know how to care about me.
...and by the way, I had to sit through a four-hour flight with my knees and ass on fire from sitting in an uncomfortable leather airplane seat while some bitch ass little brat kept crying their lungs off as if it was the solution to their problems, so I'm not in the best of moods right now.
I'm going to opt out of all future family gatherings and vacations until further notice so I can seek out my therapist and address this series of problems head-on instead of sitting here moping about it. I don't care if I'm required to see her every week. In fact, I welcome that. Because I need the attention and I need exercises and mental conditioning.
I can't let this get any worse than it already has, and I also can't let anything else interrupt me from chasing my dream to be an IT, especially if it's fucking stupid family bullshit. And while we're on the subject, I'm spending Christmas alone. Only, I'm not gonna be alone, I'm gonna be among friends. Because my online friends are literally better than my idiot family. I need to be surrounded by people who actually fucking know how to care about me.
...and by the way, I had to sit through a four-hour flight with my knees and ass on fire from sitting in an uncomfortable leather airplane seat while some bitch ass little brat kept crying their lungs off as if it was the solution to their problems, so I'm not in the best of moods right now.
And cutting toxicity out of your life, whiilst it can be difficult, is cathartic af. It's one less thing to worry about, gives you a much shorter xmas list, too and also allows you to get your shit together and get your life back on track.
It won't be easy, but you got dis <3
(Also makes me glad we don't have Thanksgiving here in the UK. The amount of mooching family on my mum's side that'd turn up for a free meal would end up with a visit from the police... >.> )