Here's the short of it. This past summer, my sister finally had it with my parents and now won't let them see the grandkids anymore. This put my mother in the absolute biggest self-pity cycle and she uses it for every excuse. I usually avoid my mother's questions but she finally asked me if she ever demeaned me because my sister was calling her " a bad influence". That's when I told her...

Yes. My mother used to beat me on a regular basis and ask me if I was retarded over the most minute things (not picking up a cloth napkin on the floor that I didn't see etc) to the point that lost all self confidence and I have never been able to get it back. Even when people compliment me on something I did, I think they're just being polite. Even after telling her, she cried, begged for forgiveness and then went straight back to her own abuses as a child (namely just repeating one or two things) and bashing my sister. The next day she still won't admit that she would beat me.

Talking to my brother, he started therapy for his own abuses and he says it's been helping him a lot. When my health insurance with my new job is settled, I'm looking to start as well.