I know its around Christmas, and I know I haven't said anything here in a while, but I just want to put this out there.

I dont know why, but I have felt increasingly isolated from everyone and everything, more people becoming upset at me, less comments and shouts on my page. No one would give two shits if I disappeared. I am most active on Discord, on over a dozen servers, talk to dozens of people a day, yet all I feel is like I upset everyone, and the few I think I am close with or could consider friends, hardly ever message me to ask how I am. It's always me reaching out to others to try and see how others are. I try to help out, and I try to make sure others feel loved and heard, yet no one ever checks on me, no one ever asks me how I am. I hate to attention whore, or explicitly go out looking for people to come to me, but jesus fuck, someone talk to me for once. Initiate a conversation, do something. I am just struggling to find anyone that really gives two shits about me. I live in a house with 3 other people, yet only one really seems to care, so I looked to this community. It just hurts, over a year and a half here, and yet it feels like no one cares.

I know I am just ranting here, but I believe its warranted, I keep my thoughts to myself, in an attempt to not offend or hurt others, yet I still manage to upset people, piss people off, or just make them stop responding on FA and or discord. Being told im spamming someones DMs because I am simply asking them how they are, being treated like shit for my opinions and such. In the past month or so I have grown increasingly more moody, more bouts of depression, and less and less patience for others.

Where have I gone wrong...