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"The Longevity of a 'Mietere": MFF Recollection
6 years ago
Midwest Furfest has given me a clearer view of the furry community, but it is not a positive light.
The event was mostly handled well. Vendor and Art areas were a nice size, food was accessible, people control and flow seem to be handled well. The police guiding traffic for people to cross from the hotels was very helpful for everyone's safety. On the down side, the panels were mostly uninteresting or a weird, out-there subject that appealed to a very small cliche, or just repetitive of years past. Registration was a mess: I was expecting a long line with a attendance of ~12,000, but the lines in the escalator lobby were a complete free for all, to the point where we were no longer even facing the right way because zig-zagging lanes kept merging at random in a fell swoop. The QR codes seemed to do nothing to aid in the speed of the process, but rather masquerade as a techie gimmick.
My nod of gratefulness goes to the convention staff who managed to keep 12k weird folks (mostly) in check. However, my issues with the convention were not a cause of the staff or event itself. It was the attendees.
As I have stated in my journal about a month ago when I stepped away from the furry community, my attendance at conventions will be more focused on the social aspects and seeing people I may see only once a year or for the first time, rather than pushing a brand or name for myself within the community. I may have expelled myself from the community, but I am not expelling the people I consider friends, ones that transcend an association with the community or not. But after this event, I am not sure how many of those "friends" feel the same.
Months leading up to any event are usually spent preparing plans with hotels, travel, costumes, and socializing. Promises of meeting at the convention, spending time with each other, maybe food or even just a hug, perhaps lewd experiences or happy mutual ones. Folks love to build up expectations of what they wish to do with you over those 4 days.
The event arrives. You message your friends you are there, where you are, plans you have, reiterate ideas you had together, brainstorm opportunities. But you are met with a |wall|. They are offline all weekend. They never open your messages. They leave you on read. Few will respond with weak excuses like "I am just so busy" or more empty wishes and promises of a reunion soon, yet 10 minutes later will post how bored they are on Twitter and looking for parties. All that shit cuts deep.
I understand conventions are chaos. It's usually impossible to follow an itinerary, and plans change or are moved and you may not be able to do all the things you want to. I've been attending comic, anime, furry, and nerd conventions for well over 8 years, I understand and have accepted it as the reality of a con. But there is a difference between adapting to new plans, and electing to ignore others who are trying their best to plan time with you.
The worst happens after the convention. The pictures of your mutual friends together, the posts reminiscing of all the good memories of meeting all their friends, the excitement for the next event. Then you get the messages from people who left you on read: "I wish we could have hung out!". It's like spit in your face. You have set aside plans and time and money to spend it on someone you care about enough to do all these things with, and instead they elect to ignore all that work without any excuse, because their selfish priorities come before others. That cuts the deepest.
I spent a majority of my time at the convention attempting to connect with people I considered my friends. I got some good time with a few, such as hosting a photo shoot for my Duluth furry friends or having the best (and most expensive) steak dinner of my life. But only about 1/4 of the folks who claimed they cared and had discussed plans attempted to connect with me. It seems that even though I had not let go of people I saw as friends when I left the community, those feelings were not mutual.
My wish for this journal is not to come off like a kid who was not invited to a classmate's birthday party. Rather, it is similar to receiving the invitation, then arriving with presents in hand to find they moved locations without telling you. You attempt to call and ask where they are, and they either hang up on you or share vague answers. It's the lies, the false promises, the lack of responsibility or respect of others that people continually let seep through their happy, gay, loving demeanor that is showcase as the facade for the community.
I do not know what I plan on doing going forward. I expected a large loss of followers on my art pages and a few friends when I stepped away from the furry community. Surprisingly, I continue to gain followers. But I am beginning to see more clearly the reality. The time and money required to go to a convention is not worth it to see just a few folks you still care about. At this point, even though I knew for a long time, I've confirmed that no one cares about the artist, but rather just the art and smut they create. Even when those people do horrible acts such as pedophilia and zoophilia or continuously break rules and social morals, they are promoted within the community. Or in the case of Mietere, not fulfilling a title or associating yourself with a community means you are no longer allowed to be considered a person, but rather a thing that just makes entertainment, and unable to fill the quota of the insatiable gullet that the community thrives on.
The longevity of the creator is dwindling with each excuse that fills my inbox.
The event was mostly handled well. Vendor and Art areas were a nice size, food was accessible, people control and flow seem to be handled well. The police guiding traffic for people to cross from the hotels was very helpful for everyone's safety. On the down side, the panels were mostly uninteresting or a weird, out-there subject that appealed to a very small cliche, or just repetitive of years past. Registration was a mess: I was expecting a long line with a attendance of ~12,000, but the lines in the escalator lobby were a complete free for all, to the point where we were no longer even facing the right way because zig-zagging lanes kept merging at random in a fell swoop. The QR codes seemed to do nothing to aid in the speed of the process, but rather masquerade as a techie gimmick.
My nod of gratefulness goes to the convention staff who managed to keep 12k weird folks (mostly) in check. However, my issues with the convention were not a cause of the staff or event itself. It was the attendees.
As I have stated in my journal about a month ago when I stepped away from the furry community, my attendance at conventions will be more focused on the social aspects and seeing people I may see only once a year or for the first time, rather than pushing a brand or name for myself within the community. I may have expelled myself from the community, but I am not expelling the people I consider friends, ones that transcend an association with the community or not. But after this event, I am not sure how many of those "friends" feel the same.
Months leading up to any event are usually spent preparing plans with hotels, travel, costumes, and socializing. Promises of meeting at the convention, spending time with each other, maybe food or even just a hug, perhaps lewd experiences or happy mutual ones. Folks love to build up expectations of what they wish to do with you over those 4 days.
The event arrives. You message your friends you are there, where you are, plans you have, reiterate ideas you had together, brainstorm opportunities. But you are met with a |wall|. They are offline all weekend. They never open your messages. They leave you on read. Few will respond with weak excuses like "I am just so busy" or more empty wishes and promises of a reunion soon, yet 10 minutes later will post how bored they are on Twitter and looking for parties. All that shit cuts deep.
I understand conventions are chaos. It's usually impossible to follow an itinerary, and plans change or are moved and you may not be able to do all the things you want to. I've been attending comic, anime, furry, and nerd conventions for well over 8 years, I understand and have accepted it as the reality of a con. But there is a difference between adapting to new plans, and electing to ignore others who are trying their best to plan time with you.
The worst happens after the convention. The pictures of your mutual friends together, the posts reminiscing of all the good memories of meeting all their friends, the excitement for the next event. Then you get the messages from people who left you on read: "I wish we could have hung out!". It's like spit in your face. You have set aside plans and time and money to spend it on someone you care about enough to do all these things with, and instead they elect to ignore all that work without any excuse, because their selfish priorities come before others. That cuts the deepest.
I spent a majority of my time at the convention attempting to connect with people I considered my friends. I got some good time with a few, such as hosting a photo shoot for my Duluth furry friends or having the best (and most expensive) steak dinner of my life. But only about 1/4 of the folks who claimed they cared and had discussed plans attempted to connect with me. It seems that even though I had not let go of people I saw as friends when I left the community, those feelings were not mutual.
My wish for this journal is not to come off like a kid who was not invited to a classmate's birthday party. Rather, it is similar to receiving the invitation, then arriving with presents in hand to find they moved locations without telling you. You attempt to call and ask where they are, and they either hang up on you or share vague answers. It's the lies, the false promises, the lack of responsibility or respect of others that people continually let seep through their happy, gay, loving demeanor that is showcase as the facade for the community.
I do not know what I plan on doing going forward. I expected a large loss of followers on my art pages and a few friends when I stepped away from the furry community. Surprisingly, I continue to gain followers. But I am beginning to see more clearly the reality. The time and money required to go to a convention is not worth it to see just a few folks you still care about. At this point, even though I knew for a long time, I've confirmed that no one cares about the artist, but rather just the art and smut they create. Even when those people do horrible acts such as pedophilia and zoophilia or continuously break rules and social morals, they are promoted within the community. Or in the case of Mietere, not fulfilling a title or associating yourself with a community means you are no longer allowed to be considered a person, but rather a thing that just makes entertainment, and unable to fill the quota of the insatiable gullet that the community thrives on.
The longevity of the creator is dwindling with each excuse that fills my inbox.
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I had a similar experience at Otakon a few years back. Long story short, those people are no longer my friends.
*Hugs*
i really feel your pain, i'm an admin in a server on discord with "friends" and most of them don't even care about the rules or even listen to what i say, it's as if people want to either watch the world burn or hurt themselves.
also, it seem like the thanos meme at what cost fits for this.
In your position, what I would choose to do is definitely and whole-heartedly stay in touch with those true friends that did not blow you off!
The controversial part of my opinion is you do not need (yet you have the right)...but I'd just think about how you do not need to post a journal telling us how awful we all are. If you truly think furries as a whole are nasty people, I'd try to hold the higher ground and rise above it but not throwing back punches at the community as a whole (or in this case maybe specifically thousands of convention attendants).
If you leave this comment up, thank you for hearing me out by reading this far. If you hide it because you fear I may cause controversy, this is your choice.
All due respect intended. I'm really not here to pick a fight.