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2019 in Review
6 years ago
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For several years, I have been fighting through many mental battles especially when it comes with dealing with how to manage finances and my horrible behavior.
As of recent, I have trouble waking up early resulting me in taking a hired driver to work and that has caused a lot of deficit in my spending funds. I cannot really sleep well for some reason; staying awake for hours on end before I can soothe myself proper.
I have been thinking about several stuff lately that I have pulled out of my life which I thought was unimportant. These are usually either leisurely things that I have either kicked the habit or find it too expensive to sustain.
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1) Social Circles
I have not been mingling much with the guild as of late because I thought that it would be expensive to keep up with them due to needing to have at least a subscription game to tag along. We're currently playing through Final Fantasy XIV together and it has been quite a fun game to breeze through together.
Ever since I stopped hanging around with my guild, I usually come home to nothing and no one. It really depends honestly because sometimes I have someone I can talk to online while at other times, I am just kept on the wayside while everyone has their own groups to be around with. One of the goals I need to do is either to be with my guild or find a social group to mingle around with.
2) New Habits?
Remeber meditation? Remember me mentioning that I need to meditate? It's been an on-and-off thing for me and I really need to force in the habit somehow. I either just get so tired after a long day of work, I tend to forget or slide to the bed almost instantly.
Same goes with keeping a diary or a planner. I just feel horrible that I am not able to accomplish such simple tasks that anyone can seemingly do and this has put a damper on my mood and self-confidence. I need to be more disciplined like I was before, more conscious of what I do and ensure that whatever I do, I follow through.
3) Where's the Art?
I just wish I have the support and motivation to continue doing what I love as well. Art's been a pain for me. I feel uninspired. I feel unmotivated. I don't feel like an artist anymore. I don't think people like me or my art at all at this point. I don't know how else I can explain it. Maybe it's because I didn't draw for myself. I just need to find some way to enjoy drawing again....
I wish someone can show me how...
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I hope everyone is able to understand what I have been going through lately in 2019. It's something I want to fight for and something I want to obtain in the end. I hope things change for 2020. For the better at least.
As of recent, I have trouble waking up early resulting me in taking a hired driver to work and that has caused a lot of deficit in my spending funds. I cannot really sleep well for some reason; staying awake for hours on end before I can soothe myself proper.
I have been thinking about several stuff lately that I have pulled out of my life which I thought was unimportant. These are usually either leisurely things that I have either kicked the habit or find it too expensive to sustain.
============================================================================
1) Social Circles
I have not been mingling much with the guild as of late because I thought that it would be expensive to keep up with them due to needing to have at least a subscription game to tag along. We're currently playing through Final Fantasy XIV together and it has been quite a fun game to breeze through together.
Ever since I stopped hanging around with my guild, I usually come home to nothing and no one. It really depends honestly because sometimes I have someone I can talk to online while at other times, I am just kept on the wayside while everyone has their own groups to be around with. One of the goals I need to do is either to be with my guild or find a social group to mingle around with.
2) New Habits?
Remeber meditation? Remember me mentioning that I need to meditate? It's been an on-and-off thing for me and I really need to force in the habit somehow. I either just get so tired after a long day of work, I tend to forget or slide to the bed almost instantly.
Same goes with keeping a diary or a planner. I just feel horrible that I am not able to accomplish such simple tasks that anyone can seemingly do and this has put a damper on my mood and self-confidence. I need to be more disciplined like I was before, more conscious of what I do and ensure that whatever I do, I follow through.
3) Where's the Art?
I just wish I have the support and motivation to continue doing what I love as well. Art's been a pain for me. I feel uninspired. I feel unmotivated. I don't feel like an artist anymore. I don't think people like me or my art at all at this point. I don't know how else I can explain it. Maybe it's because I didn't draw for myself. I just need to find some way to enjoy drawing again....
I wish someone can show me how...
============================================================================
I hope everyone is able to understand what I have been going through lately in 2019. It's something I want to fight for and something I want to obtain in the end. I hope things change for 2020. For the better at least.
As for the habits, I am also not great at those, I get in a rut and cant really change well but once I do I am there. Maybe it can be something that you set an alarm for and just have your phone or clock be your daily guide.
Lastly, the art. I wish I knew myself. The only way I tend to get back into drawing is to RP and then get inspired to draw what I RP. I also have been drawing emotes of my character as they are fun, personal, and often fast. And I dont have to worry to much if they are perfect as they are often shrank down to like 30 x 30 pixels anyway.
And you can always boop me on discord, you are always a welcome face to me!
I'm not sure what to suggest for habits, as I struggle with that myself...
I will always think you've got some amazing art, and you yourself are a wonderful person, and I know I'm not the only one who feels that way. As someone who's just starting in doing art, I'm not sure the advice I can give. What's given me the most help has been drawing every day. It doesn't have to be big things, it can be just small things, little objects around my room. It's helped to give me confidence.
I always enjoy talking with you, and I wish that things improve for the new year!
However, it isn't impossible to get out of this situation, I've been doing my best to force habits and draw more ever since November. Sometimes you find the right things and you can get a fresh resume on everything, you may not find those things as easily but I'm sure it will come to you soon enough.
You can pull through this, I know you can.