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So...Cats
6 years ago
General
So I never got into Cats. I don't hate it like a lot of people do. I'm just kinda indifferent to it. But a few of my friends adore the stage musical. They were very upset when the trailers dropped for the new movie and tonight they asked that I join them in the theater for emotional support.
I...had a great time.
Don't get me wrong. This movie is awful. God awful. Everything about it is 100% wrong. Corny jokes, bad song covers, awkward sexual tension throughout. The cringe was turned up to 11 and some horrific CGI was thrown in. It was everything I could have asked for and more. I've read some reviews saying there are some fun campy moments but the rest is boring. Well, I have no clue what they're talking about because I was transfixed. If you thought the cat people rubbing against each other was bad, wait till you see the mice with the faces of children and the chorus lines of dancing cockroach ladies.
Jennifer Hudson is trying to do the Anne Hathaway scene from Les Mis with a bowl of snot dripping out of her head as she weeps her way through Memories. Ian McKellen looks so confused, like they drugged him to get him on set. Taylor Swift cat shoehorns her way into so many scenes and even I, a person who's not familiar with the musical, could tell they'd added these songs just for her.
On either side of me I could feel the misery wafting off my friends as they watched their beloved musical being butchered before their eyes. But I couldn't stop laughing. The rest of the audience was mostly high school kids, and we were all shouting at the screen, "Oh God!" "What is happening?" and "We're only ten minutes in." We groaned and shrieked like we were in a $100 million haunted corn maze.
I feel I owe my friends a drink (a whole round of drinks) because not only was I the only one who enjoyed himself, but they paid for my ticket to entice me to go. They walked out with migraines and were cursing at the screen while I had this shit-eating grin on my face. I genuinely feel kinda guilty.
You probably know all you need to know about this movie from the trailers. But if you love so-bad-it's-good over-budgeted train wrecks, this is exactly the movie for you.
I...had a great time.
Don't get me wrong. This movie is awful. God awful. Everything about it is 100% wrong. Corny jokes, bad song covers, awkward sexual tension throughout. The cringe was turned up to 11 and some horrific CGI was thrown in. It was everything I could have asked for and more. I've read some reviews saying there are some fun campy moments but the rest is boring. Well, I have no clue what they're talking about because I was transfixed. If you thought the cat people rubbing against each other was bad, wait till you see the mice with the faces of children and the chorus lines of dancing cockroach ladies.
Jennifer Hudson is trying to do the Anne Hathaway scene from Les Mis with a bowl of snot dripping out of her head as she weeps her way through Memories. Ian McKellen looks so confused, like they drugged him to get him on set. Taylor Swift cat shoehorns her way into so many scenes and even I, a person who's not familiar with the musical, could tell they'd added these songs just for her.
On either side of me I could feel the misery wafting off my friends as they watched their beloved musical being butchered before their eyes. But I couldn't stop laughing. The rest of the audience was mostly high school kids, and we were all shouting at the screen, "Oh God!" "What is happening?" and "We're only ten minutes in." We groaned and shrieked like we were in a $100 million haunted corn maze.
I feel I owe my friends a drink (a whole round of drinks) because not only was I the only one who enjoyed himself, but they paid for my ticket to entice me to go. They walked out with migraines and were cursing at the screen while I had this shit-eating grin on my face. I genuinely feel kinda guilty.
You probably know all you need to know about this movie from the trailers. But if you love so-bad-it's-good over-budgeted train wrecks, this is exactly the movie for you.
The various reactions of the audience gave the impression of being cold-blooded torture to watch. To say nothing of the sheer uncanniess of the CGI characters.
Overall, the comparison definitely has merit...
-Chris of Team America: World Police