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An addendum in regards to something that touches a raw nerve
5 years ago
I said how I've overcome a lot of pain and such in the previous journal, about the year in review.
But there's something that still touches on a raw nerve for me. And it just came up and I think I need to talk about it.
Mind wiping, and memory erasure, which are basically two halves of the same whole.
And it's not because of any moral argument, though I have to be honest I do consider it a form of snuff, of the mind rather than the body.
No, it's not that at all. The people who are into this stuff are not bad people because of it, nor do I judge them. They're generally good people.
No, what hurts me is that I effectively saw this happen in real life, over the course of several months.
Watching my mother's personality and memories disappear each day, as the cancer ate away at her brain bit by bit.
Her lucid moments becoming farther and farther apart, more and more rapidly, as frequent trips to the hospital failed to detect the cancer spreading to her brain until it was too late to treat it - it was progressing too rapidly, and she was just too far gone to the point where she would never, ever be the same person ever again.
It was horrible. I'm still traumatized by it. I may be traumtized by it for the rest of my life.
...But I'm stronger than I was. I'm not gonna have a breakdown every time I see a picture like that. The worst I get is sad or upset, but I can recover from that just fine.
Thanks for listening. Sorry for posting two journals twice in a row, but I had to get this off my chest.
And while I appreciate that there are people do share my opinion about these fetishes, please don't be hateful or insulting to people who actually enjoy them. You don't need to bash others to validate my feelings.
But there's something that still touches on a raw nerve for me. And it just came up and I think I need to talk about it.
Mind wiping, and memory erasure, which are basically two halves of the same whole.
And it's not because of any moral argument, though I have to be honest I do consider it a form of snuff, of the mind rather than the body.
No, it's not that at all. The people who are into this stuff are not bad people because of it, nor do I judge them. They're generally good people.
No, what hurts me is that I effectively saw this happen in real life, over the course of several months.
Watching my mother's personality and memories disappear each day, as the cancer ate away at her brain bit by bit.
Her lucid moments becoming farther and farther apart, more and more rapidly, as frequent trips to the hospital failed to detect the cancer spreading to her brain until it was too late to treat it - it was progressing too rapidly, and she was just too far gone to the point where she would never, ever be the same person ever again.
It was horrible. I'm still traumatized by it. I may be traumtized by it for the rest of my life.
...But I'm stronger than I was. I'm not gonna have a breakdown every time I see a picture like that. The worst I get is sad or upset, but I can recover from that just fine.
Thanks for listening. Sorry for posting two journals twice in a row, but I had to get this off my chest.
And while I appreciate that there are people do share my opinion about these fetishes, please don't be hateful or insulting to people who actually enjoy them. You don't need to bash others to validate my feelings.
I don't think anyone could blame you for being touchy over the subject, honestly, given the very real reason behind it. It's...not the sort of thing that ever really will go away. Respect the fact that, despite the above, you're willing to be reasonable over it (let's face it there's enough special snowflakes out there that would kick off over less). World needs more people like that.
I'm not proud of it, but it has been a core part of my journey as a human being.
And I definitely agree, there's a lot of people out there who are used to having it their way, the same way, and who melt down when told "no". And we need more people who are willing to get over themselves, to listen to other people, and to realize they can't have it all their own way - and that's a good thing.
Unfortunately, the snowflakes I'm thinking about are so wrapped up in themselves that they melt down just for being asked not to be bigots :/ And then accuse the people who asked them not to be bigots of being the "real snowflakes".
It sucks because a lot of these pictures and stories are *really* well made, and they deserve much appreciation, but that one detail just... ruins it for me.
And it's not something that's possible to ignore either. All I can do is click off and be sad.