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Important Unfortunete Announcement
6 years ago
Hello Everyone who still looks at my Journals. It is me Shrapnel T. Shark. Or Clare.
If anyone has followed my twitter lately. https://twitter.com/ShrapnelShark
I have been going through a rough period for the past few weeks that eventually lead to a massive meltdown the last couple days. My mental health has completely deteriorated. The reason for this is complex/simple and sad.
I have completely lost all joy in doing commission work and art itself. The reason for this is pretty simple.
These past few months i switched to a more sketchy style and had more fun drawing and could draw quicker it felt like and people have even told me my sketchy stuff looks better and im improving alot.
Which made me feel good. Due to not having an active income i got brave and began to offer doodlesketch commissions. Buisness as usual wasn't very high but sometimes it did get high.
But this new found attention came with some unfortunate problems. I began to run into tons and tons of people who desired art from me without a desire to pay or give me anything. Several comments leading too "Its ok but its not give you money good." I'm not trying to be entitled to get payed for silly little doodles but i DO try my hardest on this.
But the problems continued and eventually i began to get manipulated by people i thought were friends to me. These people who won't be named for obvious drama reasons and there art will either of been removed from my gallery,shoved away or never uploaded.
Got several pictures from me for free,or at a large discount. But always seemed to want more from me for nothing. I admit general loneliness and a need to please people lead to this and its largely my own fault.
Then when i was mildly inconvenient i was thrown away like trash. Or in a worse case one of the people turned out to be a massive transphobe and openly mocked my existence and expected me to heel to it.
The result of all these things combined has left me just....done. Lately i've taken commissions in private i'd never wanna do,ones that i absolutely hate,or never wanted to do just to make a few dollars and at times my victim complex brain began to think some of the people were trying to use the fact i needed the money to get me to draw things i wouldn't want too. But thats just my f'd up brain currently going off.
The point is i felt severely abused by the community and i let it happen to myself. I'm less playing the victim here and more admitting this wasn't healthy at all and its time for me to step back and shut up shop.
Public Commissions are now closed for an indefinite period. I will no longer be taking them. I will try to finish up the coms i have on my que currently but that will be it. I'm going to draw for myself and my real friends IF i want too from now on.
I doubt anyone will read all this BUT if you desire to support my art,or wanted to support my art. Drop me a Shiny maybe,drop a comment on pictures you see.
Or drop me down a kofffeeee https://ko-fi.com/shrapnelshark
Anyway,this i Shrapnel T. Shark (Clare) signing off.
If anyone has followed my twitter lately. https://twitter.com/ShrapnelShark
I have been going through a rough period for the past few weeks that eventually lead to a massive meltdown the last couple days. My mental health has completely deteriorated. The reason for this is complex/simple and sad.
I have completely lost all joy in doing commission work and art itself. The reason for this is pretty simple.
These past few months i switched to a more sketchy style and had more fun drawing and could draw quicker it felt like and people have even told me my sketchy stuff looks better and im improving alot.
Which made me feel good. Due to not having an active income i got brave and began to offer doodlesketch commissions. Buisness as usual wasn't very high but sometimes it did get high.
But this new found attention came with some unfortunate problems. I began to run into tons and tons of people who desired art from me without a desire to pay or give me anything. Several comments leading too "Its ok but its not give you money good." I'm not trying to be entitled to get payed for silly little doodles but i DO try my hardest on this.
But the problems continued and eventually i began to get manipulated by people i thought were friends to me. These people who won't be named for obvious drama reasons and there art will either of been removed from my gallery,shoved away or never uploaded.
Got several pictures from me for free,or at a large discount. But always seemed to want more from me for nothing. I admit general loneliness and a need to please people lead to this and its largely my own fault.
Then when i was mildly inconvenient i was thrown away like trash. Or in a worse case one of the people turned out to be a massive transphobe and openly mocked my existence and expected me to heel to it.
The result of all these things combined has left me just....done. Lately i've taken commissions in private i'd never wanna do,ones that i absolutely hate,or never wanted to do just to make a few dollars and at times my victim complex brain began to think some of the people were trying to use the fact i needed the money to get me to draw things i wouldn't want too. But thats just my f'd up brain currently going off.
The point is i felt severely abused by the community and i let it happen to myself. I'm less playing the victim here and more admitting this wasn't healthy at all and its time for me to step back and shut up shop.
Public Commissions are now closed for an indefinite period. I will no longer be taking them. I will try to finish up the coms i have on my que currently but that will be it. I'm going to draw for myself and my real friends IF i want too from now on.
I doubt anyone will read all this BUT if you desire to support my art,or wanted to support my art. Drop me a Shiny maybe,drop a comment on pictures you see.
Or drop me down a kofffeeee https://ko-fi.com/shrapnelshark
Anyway,this i Shrapnel T. Shark (Clare) signing off.
But do what you need to do for your health. Your health is one of the few things vital to your existance, no matter what facet it comes from. And if stopping art is a part of it, permanently or just for hiatus? So be it.
But you must, MUSt take care of yourself first before others even become a glimmer in your eye.
My former therapist taught me the concept of "healthy selfishness." Meaning that in the end, we are in control of what we do with our time. You don't need to do things you don't want to do, nor do you need to please people. Do what gives you joy! You aren't obliged to provide free art to people.
Maybe a good compromise would be doing YCH's. That way you could draw things you want to draw, but also might be able to earn a little extra. Though maybe a little break is for the best. You know what is best for you :)