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2019 Review Journal
5 years ago
Last year, I wrote a journal because I felt like I needed to just write down everything that had happened to me, like a little timestamp. I feel like it would be adequate to do something similar like that every year, to help me come to terms with everything (and for anyone who cares to read this.)
At the start of 2019, I was still in the UK equivalent of senior year in high school, preparing to take my exams in the summer. I was at the peak of my open relationship; and thinking back I was making some pretty bad choices time management wise. It was only after my mock exams I realised how much of my life the fandom and the people I met had become the majority, and that meant a lot of neglected schoolwork. I seem to remember one of my teachers pulling me aside after one lesson and commenting on how I've gradually become more distracted and uninvolved over the course of the last couple months. Suffice to say, I was in a lot of emotional turmoil around that time, and in April, I ended my first serious relationship. It was heartbreaking, and probably one of the worst things I've ever had to do, and it's something I will never forget. And yet, life went on.
I had my final exams around May/June, and not soon after they finished, I was off to Anthrocon, which I was so incredibly excited for, mainly because I was going to be able to meet so many furs who I'd longed to see for many months, some over a year. And don't get me wrong, AC was one of the best experiences I've ever had (hence why I'm going back again this year woot woot), but it also put so much strain on my already fragile relationship, which caused its inevitable collapse inwards. If I'd have known that I was going to have to break so many hearts over such a short span of time, I would not have chosen for things to be like that in the first place, heck I wouldn't wish that upon anyone.
Turns out my exams were a success and at the end of the summer, I got to go to my first choice of university, and I feel I acclimatised very well: I made lots of very good friends very quickly, I haven't dipped under or collapsed under the mental stress of the work (yet), and I got very used to cooking and living on my own (well to a certain extent :P). But in all honesty, that first term of university just felt like a waiting period to the main event, which was staying with my boyfriend and his family for almost a week just before Christmas. It was a perfect time to finish off the year with, and I couldn't be more grateful to everyone and everything who supported me and made that possible.
So, overall, I think 2019 was a good year, maybe the best year: I got to experience some of the best things I can think of, and I got to spend time with those I love and cherish. It had its heartbreak, but I feel that's helped me appreciate the love I have more. To those it may concern, I'm sorry if I ever hurt you or lied to you. I made mistakes, and to know that I caused you to hurt, hurts me just as much. I made some poor decisions, and I had to make things right; they may not be perfect... but they're right. However, the past is the past, and we learn, and we move on, because life moves on as well. I think this year is just the beginning of something special and I can't wait to live it, with all the lovely people to live it with :3 <3
At the start of 2019, I was still in the UK equivalent of senior year in high school, preparing to take my exams in the summer. I was at the peak of my open relationship; and thinking back I was making some pretty bad choices time management wise. It was only after my mock exams I realised how much of my life the fandom and the people I met had become the majority, and that meant a lot of neglected schoolwork. I seem to remember one of my teachers pulling me aside after one lesson and commenting on how I've gradually become more distracted and uninvolved over the course of the last couple months. Suffice to say, I was in a lot of emotional turmoil around that time, and in April, I ended my first serious relationship. It was heartbreaking, and probably one of the worst things I've ever had to do, and it's something I will never forget. And yet, life went on.
I had my final exams around May/June, and not soon after they finished, I was off to Anthrocon, which I was so incredibly excited for, mainly because I was going to be able to meet so many furs who I'd longed to see for many months, some over a year. And don't get me wrong, AC was one of the best experiences I've ever had (hence why I'm going back again this year woot woot), but it also put so much strain on my already fragile relationship, which caused its inevitable collapse inwards. If I'd have known that I was going to have to break so many hearts over such a short span of time, I would not have chosen for things to be like that in the first place, heck I wouldn't wish that upon anyone.
Turns out my exams were a success and at the end of the summer, I got to go to my first choice of university, and I feel I acclimatised very well: I made lots of very good friends very quickly, I haven't dipped under or collapsed under the mental stress of the work (yet), and I got very used to cooking and living on my own (well to a certain extent :P). But in all honesty, that first term of university just felt like a waiting period to the main event, which was staying with my boyfriend and his family for almost a week just before Christmas. It was a perfect time to finish off the year with, and I couldn't be more grateful to everyone and everything who supported me and made that possible.
So, overall, I think 2019 was a good year, maybe the best year: I got to experience some of the best things I can think of, and I got to spend time with those I love and cherish. It had its heartbreak, but I feel that's helped me appreciate the love I have more. To those it may concern, I'm sorry if I ever hurt you or lied to you. I made mistakes, and to know that I caused you to hurt, hurts me just as much. I made some poor decisions, and I had to make things right; they may not be perfect... but they're right. However, the past is the past, and we learn, and we move on, because life moves on as well. I think this year is just the beginning of something special and I can't wait to live it, with all the lovely people to live it with :3 <3
