to be honest I know no one will read this or even give two flying F@#$s but I am thinking of just giving up on the art I try to make and the stories I have been working on because its clear I have not skill or talent for either, and my job has been taking to much of my time and soul and not in a good way. I'm losing my fight because the people I work for and work with are draining the life from and to be honest again after fighting fang and claw for 23 (can't remember from age 0-4 so I don't count them) year to only survive and exist never actually live so really what is the point in any of it? why put my self out there and even try any more. But I know if I fade in to the darkness no one would notice or care and like I said before I know no one will read this.