https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/8154113/
I found this journal I wrote 3 years ago and while it was certainly surreal to read after so much time, (not really that much time, but so many things have changed since then) it hit so much deeper reading the second part about reading it again in the future and looking back on my life.

[TW] There was a time that I thought DCF was going to take me away from my family and that's because they thought maybe my home life was abusive and that's why I wasn't going to school. (On the contrary, my parents were my only support system, the ones continuously fighting on my behalf.) After the first time they came to the house I also cut myself for the first time. For so many years I was thrown from *insert child behavioral programs here, in hopes it'd cure my anxiety and depression. I was forced to be hospitalized twice because the school system was convinced there was something deeper that was wrong with me. I didn't lash out at people, I didn't endure any trauma, I wasn't self medicating with drugs, so they didn't know what to do to me. I was relatively "normal", but I developed a fear of going to school and that slowly creeped into a fear of also being around people my age. Both students and administration thought I was faking it, so they didn't care to spend extra money to put me in a specialized school...

...I did it, i did graduate high school, despite what I was told and also advised to do by some. I've been through so much weird shit that's made me devoid of a typical middle/high school experience. I lost friends and for a long time I never thought i'd make another friend, which now I can see is ridiculous. However, back then all my friends dropped me and I was years deep in isolation. I didn't really know how to socialize or how to be apart of a friendship anymore. It sounds ridiculous, but when I made my first friend after that period of isolation, I vividly remember having that person over at my house, joking around, and it was early on in the friendship. We were in the middle of a stupid conversation; i felt so elated. I had a friend again, I finally had another person I felt like I could finally confide in and have fun with and while that didn't last forever, I needed it. I needed it so badly in order to have gotten me where I am now.

I'm part of a group of friends in college (which I didn't know if i'd ever be able to get to) and we support each other. No one else is a furry, but we get along and have fun and that's all I need. This semester has been harder then the last; my anxiety has worsened. On the other hand, I really needed to see that old journal to remind me of everything I've gone through to be where I am today. Yea things still feel sucky, but I moved from one sucky place to another one to get a higher education. That doesn't sound hopeful, but i'd disagree. Things will always suck to a degree, but i'm still moving forward, towards the goal I've been talking about since middle school. Cheers

*This still doesn't even begin to cover what has happened over the past decade of my life & I might tweak this journal here and there to sound more coherent and such, but maybe in another 3 years I can look back again and be proud of what I've done.