So this is the 1st entry i'm doin. not sure how many or how long i'm gonna do this or what i'll type, but i'm jus gonna put some thoughts down somewhere. here's as good a place as any. so to start things off, lately i've been toyin around with the idea of startin up some art classes (Associate of Art) at the local college near me. after gettin a scholarship that is, which i'll have to transfer to another college after 2 yrs to finish said art degree. but what's holdin me back, besides myself, is virtually nothin. I just gotta start the steps and let it fly. but I keep thinkin of how it would impact my schedule of the things that I have to do every week and tryin to work out how I could do all of them and not lose any one of them. :T also my living situation isnt exactly the best or ideal by any margin. often times i wonder why it's so hard for me to take that first step even when i know just about everything i need to do and how easy it is to do, but i just balk. letting the time and opportunity slip by. i know that i need to work on that and the laziness, the procrastination, the self doubt, etc. at least i'm aware of what i need to do, but all the rejection i've gotten in my present job searching is really eatin at my resolve. i've been lookin for a steady job for close to 2 yrs and only a handful of interviews that almost went somewhere. the temp service i'm goin through only has a few jobs this month and idk if i'm goin to stay with'em much longer cause the end time will leave my wonderin as to where i'll be sleepin.