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Rebranding 4
5 years ago
General
President Phillips M Magnavox III has announced that the new name for the Species Formerly Known As Coronans will be revealed in the format of Wheel Of Fortune with celebrity contestants, in which they will get to guess the orthographic elements comprising the new name one at a time, thereby gradually revealing it to all, as well as potentially winning some of these fabulous prizes:
64-piece tiny-fork set from K-Mart,
Tiny forks. They're very small.
Your neighborhood K-Mart, now with 25% fewer used condoms in the shoe department for some reason
A Kazian-King Sized Waterbed from B.J.Splusho,
Get closer to your partner than you ever wanted to by feeling their every movement!
B.J.Splusho, all our waterbeds are filled with orbeez
The "Freedom Phone" by Bell South.
Using vintage TTL technology, dial numbers by s l o w l y speaking into the handset because there are no number buttons.
Bell South, how the fuck did we even get to a planet 4 lightyears away from Earth?
Abnormally Large Louis:Beastars Plush from KronoGP
You want him inside you... r bedroom... (decoratively!) This 9-foot-tall plush's piercing gaze is unavoidable. Why 9-feet-tall? Well, we didn't check the details when we ordered it and maybe we should have, but hey! Our mistake is your... new... fetish?
64-piece tiny-fork set from K-Mart,
Tiny forks. They're very small.
Your neighborhood K-Mart, now with 25% fewer used condoms in the shoe department for some reason
A Kazian-King Sized Waterbed from B.J.Splusho,
Get closer to your partner than you ever wanted to by feeling their every movement!
B.J.Splusho, all our waterbeds are filled with orbeez
The "Freedom Phone" by Bell South.
Using vintage TTL technology, dial numbers by s l o w l y speaking into the handset because there are no number buttons.
Bell South, how the fuck did we even get to a planet 4 lightyears away from Earth?
Abnormally Large Louis:Beastars Plush from KronoGP
You want him inside you... r bedroom... (decoratively!) This 9-foot-tall plush's piercing gaze is unavoidable. Why 9-feet-tall? Well, we didn't check the details when we ordered it and maybe we should have, but hey! Our mistake is your... new... fetish?
Big
(Anatomically Correct)
*huff*
Louis