so if you've followed me here for a while, you probably are aware of the ways i've been loud, facetious, and perhaps even volatile in the past, usually when criticizing the habits of online artists and fandoms (with focus on the furpeople becus look where the fuck we at lmao). that's all well and good, but i feel like by having done that for several years, i've invited a sort of familiarity from strangers here that isn't appropriate given how little they, like, know about me lol

i suppose it can't be helped! when you're caustic and loud, you will attract people who want to match how caustic and loud you are. the endearing thing is that this has, i think, been done by some people in respect, as a way to buddy up and interact with me on level ground and with the kind of humor they feel i'd appreciate. "noice," was my initial reaction to this, by the by. i probably also did a fortnite dance and then whacked off to my pageview count after getting any of those kinds of comments. but like....... homie idk you

lemme be clear: i don't feel any ill will towards basically anybody i interact with on the reg (if i did, why would i interact with them) and i understand most people mean no malice when they go about this sorta thing. but people need to understand that we don't know each other. i'm not your friend. idk what your humor is like, what's going through your head as you say things to me, what my art means to you if anything! and you can't say the same about me because i don't recall telling anyone anyone here any of these things in great detail over years of close friendship lol. so i'd appreciate it if we didn't do this song and dance

example given: i once discussed an arrangement i'd had with a now ex of mine and how happy we both were about it. everyone was inarguably supportive, legit everyone, but a handful - a larger handful of people then i'd thought there'd be, people who i am not nearly close enough to to feel comfortable allowing them to say this to me - went ahead and called me and my then-partner faggots. here i was having to hear random people i'm sure meant no harm calling me one of the nastiest words i've had used earnestly against me to express how i'm lesser, and not a single one of them seemed to understand why that's, ya know, kinda fuckt. imagine my disgusted surprise !

this isn't just about that one event, obvs. i've been over it for a long time. but it's an example of this overfamiliarity, this unearned and nonsensical sense of closeness i feel is motivating this way of interaction. i've had people who watch me, like my stuff, and agree with my positions when i get into ranting and raving go on to insult me, insult my art, and shrug off any shred of emotional vulnerability i half-jokingly share with some variation of discord chat maymays. and it baffles me because i don't even allow the people closest to me to say or do most of these things, and if i do, it's because i'm their friend. we know each other inside and out and have covert permission to pull that shit on each other

i don't keep bringing up the sentiment that I'm Not Your Friend to be cruel or act coldly. i don't mean it as a kick in the dick to anyone. it's just true! very few people here know me or have gotten to see what i'm really like irl. people have specifically wanted to be friends with me because they related to "how much of a cunt" i am and how i'm "a hardass", all without knowing so much as how i like my fuckin morning coffee made! it's madness, oh it's wild, frothing, buttfuckingly heinous madness to talk to a total stranger this way just because you like his bitching and his dog scribbles!!

but enough about me, i hate talking about that bitch. the greater point i'm trying to make here (and there is one! because ofc there is! jesus!!!) is that this is not an unseen phenomenon in online art spaces. this is something i see a lot of artists, especially those who are genuinely PoPuLaR, deal with. they are approached and spoken to as if strangers have known them since kindergarten. they get called bitches and assholes and cunts and worse in a joking tone from people who, even if its only for the moment, lack the social grace to realize YOU DONT SAY THAT SHIT TO TOTAL STRANGERS. and you don't know dick-and-a-half about someone as a human being based on the meager, jokey 2 message back-and-forths you have with them in the comments of their online art galleries

so just. remember that. by all means try and make friends with people. extend a hand out to me if you want, i'm not nearly as much of a miserable bastard as i present myself to be. but understand that hey dude, you can't talk to everyone in the exact same way and expect them to be hunky dorey about it. drop your fave memes in my comments anytime but maybe wait til you know my middle name before trying to call me a fag how bow that lol

(buh thu wuh, this isn't aimed at anyone in particular or brought on by anything recent. it's just been rolling around in my empty little head for a few months. anyway be excellent to each other or i'll shit your bed while you're not looking. peace)