OK SO UH

I've been dealing with a lot and talking with my therapist and ... really trying to get into the swing of things again.

It's really hard to get out of this mood where I need to apologize and ask approval and permission to do ... anything. Recent events have not helped that but I am getting better. Or I'm trying to get better.

I feel like I might have hurt my relationship with some people by becoming reclusive and not being able to work up the nerve to talk or interact in group chats, abandoning said chats, and just... being a huge mess all the time. I wanna apologize for that.

I had some revelations about how I react to things and how I deal with stuff and I'm resolving to try and stick with things and focus more on being productive and doing what I want too instead of trying to reinvent myself every time something shakes me up.

I'm very grateful to my friends and the people who continue to talk with and support me despite being a constant mess. Ya'll are excessively patient and I wish I was better already so I could return the favor somehow. Regardless I'm gonna try and do art more regularly, so hopefully there's more of that.