Hey, guys.... It's me again...
I was hiatus for three days due to something that had happened to me, which is totally depressing...

So, here is the situation: The artist I decided to have a commission with, had decided to remove me from the waiting list without warning because I fail to send him the description. It is totally fair, as the artist has a queue, but I really forget to send the description because I am trouble with a lot of real life problems - very stressful problems and peers pressure. I have tried to explain the situation to the artist, sending apology messages and a chance to be in the list again, but the artist never read the messages. A few days later, I found out he had blocked me. That is the moment I finally blew it. I vent about it on everywhere. This made some people decided to stand up for me in the wrong way, thus attacking the artist without even me asking them too. The artist (who is also my longtime friend and the first fur I met during a first furmeet) got fed up with my "constant" apology and the attacks, that he finally decided to end everything - he doesn't want to deal with me for good. I also end up unfriending two furs for this (one fur who is a fan of his artworks and his post, and one fur who always commission him for a mini-comic series for a FB page) - unfriending because I don't want to be reminded. This really blows me hard.... Not only that I have lost a dependable artist, I also lost a long-time friend.
I was so devastated, that my emotions start to flood me, filling me with nothing of self-guilt. If I didn't forget those details, none of these would have happened. I blasted almost everyone I met with all negativity, and I went suicidal. I know it must be totally wrong to kill yourself over this matter, but I was really lost it.... It took a very along time and a restless night to finally calm myself, and burst into tears....
A few of my best friends have scolded me for these, of why I wanted to kill myself over the loss of the said artist. This best friend is a victim of this artist, not in a matter of artwork, but mostly anything. I won't go into a lot of details, but basically my best friend advice me that I stick with a way better friendship.

So, there ya go.... that's the story of my disappearance over the past three days.
Currently, I am in the process of slowly healing myself over this incident, and let it go. Some of the arts I have from this artist.... I have to keep them as it is my money in those arts, and I don't want them to go to waste. I would go around and see who can replace him - some artists who are affordable and way even better, and worth the time. And also, I should be aware if my turn is up - prep the refs before the artist even asked first or something.

Friends come and go... even for the longtime ones...... I guess now it is my "Death" card.
Anyways, this is my report over my disappearance. Talk to you all later