I am talking with a therapist, but one of the things I've noticed a while is that while I continue going on, I seem to lack either hope or faith in the future.

My brother would tell me that the overwhelming number of life-time Conservative justices has happened before and probably will happen again on cycle. What he doesn't seem to quite grasp is that I almost certainly will not live to see one that is not. Nor that they can continue doing great harm to people.

The bail system, which is explained here by Boozy Badger (a lawyer) will almost certainly never change because it makes too many people too much money. Similarly our jails are basically slavery enacted under the guise of justice. If you don't believe me you can look up for yourself how much profit is made off of prisoners.

So I have no hope that the supposed justice system will change nor faith that better angels will avail. Not because people in general are bad but because a bad system needs a complete overhaul which will not happen as long as those in power benefit from it.

Which is not to say I want to discourage my friends. I want to see them happy. I'd love to see the light they give off as they accomplish their dreams and goals, and I want to encourage them as much as I can, even from the mire I find myself stuck in. At the least if I cannot hope for myself or find faith in myself I can do so for them.

And so I go on, a life that I feel will never be illuminated except by the distant starlight of friends who made it. Inevitably I will go on until death finally takes me.