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I want to talk about an aspect of friendship
5 years ago
[INCOMING TRANSMISSION] :::
Hey I wanted to write this journal because this is something that's kind of difficult to talk about and it's been on my mind lately. I apologize in advance for anything here that sounds nonsensical but I am not great at articulating my thoughts.
So. I love my friends. I talk to a ton of people, and I have shared a ton of experiences. Some good, bad, great, awful, so on. I've had my own ups and downs, my really big ups, and my really low downs. One thing I know for sure. Because I love my friends, I know that low times are inevitable and that I try and so whatever I can do for them.
Why am I saying this? Okay so like, and hey this isn't targeted or addressed at anyone specifically, but rather anyone who feels this way in general. I want you guys to understand something super important.
Your burdens, your trials, your challenges. You are allowed to talk about them. You are not going to bring me down.
A few folk whom I speak with frequently have expressed this to me, I can tell they're not 100% up to snuff, I ask what's up, and I get met with something akin to "I don't want anyone to feel bad for me." Okay guess what dummy, I'm going to feel bad. I'm sorry, that's just how it is. Even if you don't tell me what's wrong, if I sense you're not in great spirits, it doesn't matter, I am going to feel bad!
And it is OK. It is OK because I asked! If you genuinely don't want to tell me that's fine, I won't push, but most of the time it is just out of genuine interest (and okay maybe sometimes it's curiosity.) But the point is, it's okay to tell me. It's okay to vent at me, you're not going to pull me down, or ruin me.
Understand it like this, I am grateful to everyone in my life who has ever been there for me, to have helped pick me up or keep me going. For the energy that was spent to get me here, so shall I return the energy to the world to get you there too.
Another thing! Maybe you may think your problems are trivial, and that in comparison to others, or my own, you're just being a burden. I understand where this comes from, and I will be honest that I have had times where it seems the weight of all of my friends problems may feel like too much. But I remind myself that there were times in my life where my problems may have been trivial, but to me they felt awful. At a time when I was lesser able to handle that stress, I buckled. Therefore, it is not my job to judge the quality of life you're venting about. I am just here to listen.
There isn't always a whole lot I can do, nor is there always a real "solution", but all the more reason for me to do what little I can.
One problem I've had, that I've worked on and still continue to do so, is that I just need to listen. I've learned to stop butting in and trying to fix it. I fix problems, it's what I get joy from, but people are not problems to be solved, bugs to be fixed. On the other hand, If you ask for my advice I'll give it.
Ultimately, please understand that if you need someone to vent at, I offer my large fluffy ears to do so. It is the least I can do. <3
So. I love my friends. I talk to a ton of people, and I have shared a ton of experiences. Some good, bad, great, awful, so on. I've had my own ups and downs, my really big ups, and my really low downs. One thing I know for sure. Because I love my friends, I know that low times are inevitable and that I try and so whatever I can do for them.
Why am I saying this? Okay so like, and hey this isn't targeted or addressed at anyone specifically, but rather anyone who feels this way in general. I want you guys to understand something super important.
Your burdens, your trials, your challenges. You are allowed to talk about them. You are not going to bring me down.
A few folk whom I speak with frequently have expressed this to me, I can tell they're not 100% up to snuff, I ask what's up, and I get met with something akin to "I don't want anyone to feel bad for me." Okay guess what dummy, I'm going to feel bad. I'm sorry, that's just how it is. Even if you don't tell me what's wrong, if I sense you're not in great spirits, it doesn't matter, I am going to feel bad!
And it is OK. It is OK because I asked! If you genuinely don't want to tell me that's fine, I won't push, but most of the time it is just out of genuine interest (and okay maybe sometimes it's curiosity.) But the point is, it's okay to tell me. It's okay to vent at me, you're not going to pull me down, or ruin me.
Understand it like this, I am grateful to everyone in my life who has ever been there for me, to have helped pick me up or keep me going. For the energy that was spent to get me here, so shall I return the energy to the world to get you there too.
Another thing! Maybe you may think your problems are trivial, and that in comparison to others, or my own, you're just being a burden. I understand where this comes from, and I will be honest that I have had times where it seems the weight of all of my friends problems may feel like too much. But I remind myself that there were times in my life where my problems may have been trivial, but to me they felt awful. At a time when I was lesser able to handle that stress, I buckled. Therefore, it is not my job to judge the quality of life you're venting about. I am just here to listen.
There isn't always a whole lot I can do, nor is there always a real "solution", but all the more reason for me to do what little I can.
One problem I've had, that I've worked on and still continue to do so, is that I just need to listen. I've learned to stop butting in and trying to fix it. I fix problems, it's what I get joy from, but people are not problems to be solved, bugs to be fixed. On the other hand, If you ask for my advice I'll give it.
Ultimately, please understand that if you need someone to vent at, I offer my large fluffy ears to do so. It is the least I can do. <3
There's a kind of.... missing void, of empathy people are feeling, societally. We've gotten so used to it. If we practice this kind of listening just a bit more, then we wouldn't feel alone. realizing that we're not really alone. That there's others out there with the similar feelings. And we all do need each other, if only they'd realize.
(I know this is sounding like the plot of Death Stranding now Xp )