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keeping it real (update)
5 years ago
so, hi again fa! it's been a really long time since i've popped in here, much less uploaded art. i hope you guys are still around because i genuinely really enjoy this art and the people who continue to watch and support me, as well as showing what i can to the community and doing my part!
this year has been something else- and i'm sure you don't need to hear my saying so. right now, we're fighting a pandemic, not to mention trying to prevent the country to falling back into its horrible old ways of the deep rooted racism history, and tackling what we can to ensure we do NOT become a country falling under a dictator ruling.
life for me hasn't been super easy either. i lost my dog this year- i don't believe i've ever brought her up on here. i rescued her when i was 9 years old, and she was 15 and a half this year when she had passed. to say this dog had been by my side since day one is a HUGE understatement.
she helped me survive, as dramatic as that sounds, when i lived under my mom's roof and helped me fight my worst depressive bouts. she was my only friend, irl, for a long long time. i remember when i would be home alone for so many days, but having her by my side made all the difference. i had told her i was going to leave, that i had to do it for my own safety- i had sobbed into her fur and held her all week knowing i'd leave her behind, and it hurt so much.
a year later, we went down to ohio to visit for the holidays. despite the hell that ensued during our visit, we still saw her, and she seemed to be doing well. even during our trip earlier this year in february, before this pandemic really set off, we had made another visit... and my fiance told me without my even asking that he knew she was doing okay, that she still loved me and made peace that i had left.
she was a hearty little thing, being a rat terrier. she had struggled with health problems before, but always managed to fight the odds... she ended up passing due to cancer in her lungs.
i love her so much and i still blame myself to this day for not being there, not being strong enough to stay. i have a cuddle clone of her to cope with it all, and i know it's not really her- but it's beautiful and has been really helping me during this time.
aside from that, i've been super busy working! i work as a host now- i won't lie, the people who come in scare me because 90% of them refuse to wear masks... but aside from covid again, i've really liked picking up a job in the restaurant industry!
my hours have been cut pretty badly though, so there's that... but i'm looking to work at the taco bell in town, the pay is looking great and i love their food, so there's that HSJFDSF haha!
so YEAH, that's about it! i turned 25 a week ago and it's been really truthfully... hitting different. i'm feeling my age but i'm just trying to get through each day haha! i finally have figured out how to manage time, for the most part... so i'm hoping to post more on here!
thank you guys if you read this, it really does mean a lot to me. times have been frustrating, confusing, and hard this year. i hope you all are doing well and doing your best to stay safe out there, and WEAR YOUR MASKS haha! hopefully this won't be the last of me you'll see, and i'll be making coming on and posting art a very regular thing again.
as always, i appreciate all of you immensely and your support! <3
this year has been something else- and i'm sure you don't need to hear my saying so. right now, we're fighting a pandemic, not to mention trying to prevent the country to falling back into its horrible old ways of the deep rooted racism history, and tackling what we can to ensure we do NOT become a country falling under a dictator ruling.
life for me hasn't been super easy either. i lost my dog this year- i don't believe i've ever brought her up on here. i rescued her when i was 9 years old, and she was 15 and a half this year when she had passed. to say this dog had been by my side since day one is a HUGE understatement.
she helped me survive, as dramatic as that sounds, when i lived under my mom's roof and helped me fight my worst depressive bouts. she was my only friend, irl, for a long long time. i remember when i would be home alone for so many days, but having her by my side made all the difference. i had told her i was going to leave, that i had to do it for my own safety- i had sobbed into her fur and held her all week knowing i'd leave her behind, and it hurt so much.
a year later, we went down to ohio to visit for the holidays. despite the hell that ensued during our visit, we still saw her, and she seemed to be doing well. even during our trip earlier this year in february, before this pandemic really set off, we had made another visit... and my fiance told me without my even asking that he knew she was doing okay, that she still loved me and made peace that i had left.
she was a hearty little thing, being a rat terrier. she had struggled with health problems before, but always managed to fight the odds... she ended up passing due to cancer in her lungs.
i love her so much and i still blame myself to this day for not being there, not being strong enough to stay. i have a cuddle clone of her to cope with it all, and i know it's not really her- but it's beautiful and has been really helping me during this time.
aside from that, i've been super busy working! i work as a host now- i won't lie, the people who come in scare me because 90% of them refuse to wear masks... but aside from covid again, i've really liked picking up a job in the restaurant industry!
my hours have been cut pretty badly though, so there's that... but i'm looking to work at the taco bell in town, the pay is looking great and i love their food, so there's that HSJFDSF haha!
so YEAH, that's about it! i turned 25 a week ago and it's been really truthfully... hitting different. i'm feeling my age but i'm just trying to get through each day haha! i finally have figured out how to manage time, for the most part... so i'm hoping to post more on here!
thank you guys if you read this, it really does mean a lot to me. times have been frustrating, confusing, and hard this year. i hope you all are doing well and doing your best to stay safe out there, and WEAR YOUR MASKS haha! hopefully this won't be the last of me you'll see, and i'll be making coming on and posting art a very regular thing again.
as always, i appreciate all of you immensely and your support! <3
just enjoy him while you have him- which i hope that doesn't sound bad or bleak or anything, because honestly it's the furthest thing i meant from that. spend every single day you can by his side and even the little memories will mean everything to you.
i still can't believe my partner in crime is gone and it still hurts so so much, but i've made some peace at least with it. time never makes it easier, but reflecting on what you did with them helps heal things over a bit. i'm so happy you have a great relationship with your dog though!! 💕