i say this because now i have even more OCs i wanna mess around with and that isn't very fair to people who want to see where this OC or that goes and i don't care

i'm not here to ask permission or forgiveness

hell yell

imagine becoming popular enough to have fans

who all decide they are important parts of your life and are entitled to you

imagine people telling you what you can and cannot create

my family constantly asks when i'm going to finally become a famous published author

they can never understand the absolute peace and clearheadedness when i realized that means nothing whatsoever

i will make my home in the nothing and exist in eternal static tranquility

Imagine not being allowed to have hobbies anymore becuase i'd have to hold everything to the standards of "how can i make money from this"

Not to insert my political beliefs in here but I def think we live in a culture that pushes this notion that you can't have a hobby unless it's monetized.

i dont wanna be rich and famous and have to hide every expression of my sexuality or be beholden to maintaining a marketable brand i'm not here to sell myself this is just a place where things end up and if you enjoy it that's cool

And I feel the same about my own work, I never want to be in a situation where I need to censor myself or who I am or maintain that image.


Ultimately, I applaud you for saying this. I appreciate and love your work and the stories you craft and the characters you build a lot, regardless of if those characters "go anywhere." I don't think I'm one of the people who said this, and I'm sorry if I did, but I'm sorry that people are pushing for you to publish and be "legitimized."

nah man you're totes legit this isn't anything at you

i'm just tired of seeing people getting taken offline for drawing the ~wrong~ kind of porn, because, i mean, i draw the wrong kind of porn. i'm just not being targeted because no one knows who i am thank goodness lol

and yeah no go full politics it's shitty as hell you aren't allowed to have anything you enjoy anymore the pressure is ALWAYS about "how is your free time being used to make you money"

i'm going to live in the woods and eat animals i grow and the world can burn tbh

when i die they'll throw out my harddrive never knowing the henry darger legacy i've left behind in the noosophere

i'm furry henry darger hello

only when i'm ancient and dying and someone finds my work and says "hey this is incredible" instead of saying "too late now" i'm gonna go "fuck off i'm already god" and then devour the world

i've already devoured the world

henry darger's failing was not going hard enough

This is pretty much why I bailed on my previous account and made the game I developed there open source for other people to work on. It became something all consuming for the peeps that watched me. To the point I was apparently being badmouthed on Eka's for not finishing it. Despite making a game as a hobby, for free, while being too shy/withdrawn/prideful to actually accept help from outside to do it.

You do you. I know I certainly enjoy your posts and ideas, regardless of if they're following a consistent long term story, or just a random pic from a bizarre dream world instead.

i am a dream, you are all privy to glimpses of it that make it through and are remembered here temporarily


and yeah honestly i've been Popular before and it was kind of meaningless. it meant a lot of people acting like they knew me or deserved to be friends with me. a lot of people deciding that they're entitled to your time, regardless of how they act or what you want. a lot of people telling you what you're not allowed to create


i will die in a quiet shadow gloriously and perfect

Ok.

ok

Thank you!

that sounds very reasonable to me! In spite of the constant barrage of YCH's and adoptables, I think a fair number of people come here for the same reason, just sharing their hobby with other like-minded units.

i get that people have to market themselves and turn money and existing is so hard and i dread the day i have to start doing commissions to help me survive and i might someday have to so i don't die bu t i will be very unhappya bout it

and yeah the site has become overrun with ychs you look at the new art feed it's all you see the fandom has been CONSUMED

I'd like to see more knick-knacks in the future (and paw/hoof degeneracy) but I think the majority of people follow you exactly because of how unpredictable and detailed your content can be

the few people who know what ms. bramble's wild ride is and do not leave it even then are the people i cherish with a distant appreciation expressed as a smile and nod across the room as i raise the same drink you are having in silent toast

How does one gain this knowledge? You must tell me, or I will return years layer with a needlessly costly and convoluted expedition and it will be a real hassle for you

that you are here means you already possess this secret, it's you

it's you i toast

I... I was blind all along... Excellent, however I already planned this whole thing out. I'll be keeping a close eye 🤠

respect

i do not have anything to add that has not already been said -- but i also will need to take comms at some point and do not think of it as anything especially horrible, just another task to keep the deer-producing meat vessel running, like eating and sleeping. easier to think of it as just another habit i suppose

to be honest i'd prefer doing YCH commissions over having to re-enter retail (esp. if i ever have to go back as anything other than management i do nottt want to be on the front lines ever again) but i honestly dont' think i can draw well enough to charge commissions tbh

i probably can if i try but i also dont' want to have to try

see if my tune changes if i start starving though lol

Fine by me. I remember coming across you with Sabhaxlia's terrible life 7 years ago, and lo and behold 5 years later it kinda ended.

Infinite world-building's cool even if it doesn't go anywhere.

to be fair my life got realllll l fucked up and then when i tried to continue sabhaxlia some people made it hard for me to

every narrative thing i tried to do since then got ruined some way or another sometimes it was just me sometimes it was the players being unmanagageable ill take the blame when it's mine and it isn't always mine tho

spaceisnothome was my magnum opus and that MOSTLY FINISHED but it's on tumblr and oh right tumblr's fukken DED

And that's totally fine! I also liked Best Bandits and I guess I'll check out this spaceisnothome blog if I can find it!

you can't even VIEW It anymore because tumblr fucked me

it's only visible on https://www.tumbex.com/spaceisnothome.tumblr/posts anymore, they STOLE my magnum OPUS FROM ME

I am glad to be here, watching where your imagination goes, when it happens to go there.
Keeping it for yourself is admirable and respectable and good. Turning art into money isn't for everyone and honestly it really sucks a lot at times.
I hope you find something better than a janitor as your real job but you are indeed henry darger and we'll all celebrate you and your weirdness and uniqueness. You are great.

my ego is perpetually sated and needs no filling i am eternally stuffed (animal (knicknack))

There's yet another innuendo or two in there but I'm too tired to come up with a witty one-liner for it.
I'm glad you're doing things for you. You deserve it.

It took a long time for this page to load when I clicked on the journal title. the whole time I was waiting for it I was shouting out "whatever it is I'll read it, yeah! all of it! I don't care how long it is or which thing it's about I'm ready today! let's go let's go!" So when this page loaded and I did read this I was so satisfied. Yes I wouldn't say you're doing anything wrong, I won't get the wrong idea or anything. I'm glad you're here though.

GOOD LET'S SCREAM A WHOLE LOT

Do whatcha like and puts you in a good place. My only complaint in any of that is that you not "marketing" yourself more is that you make cool stuff, and without word getting out not as many people will see it, which is a little sad. I know your whole point here is that you don't care, and fair enough; I'm just saying I care, and wish more people could discover and enjoy the variety of stuff you make. There's not a lot of world-building in general in "The Fandom" anymore, and most of what there is is lazy anime bullshit or lazy porn bullshit. Your porn bullshit, in contrast, is possibly the most non-lazy I have ever seen.

I suppose the other downside is that, from experience, if you have a bunch of projects going at once, they all suffer to some degree. And there is something satisfying about focusing, developing one given thing, and bringing it to a conclusion, one way or another. For me it's also easier to learn if I have that cycle of start, work, finish, review, start again. But other people might work differently.

yeah but like i finished my 800 page novel and now i have to go back and edit it because it's 800 freaking pages and god it's so much work, i just wanna draw a dumb cat-deer-snake vampire bullying a plant

and i mean i have no ego problems i know my stuff's good and exciting i dont even know HOW to market it in this fandom other than making catchy species and opening them for adoption and then everyone makes OCs without reading the context anyway and then you got people roleplaying dadali who don't even know that the ocean is made of rainbow souls and the sky is terrifying

god i'd rather my creations go unknown than become like sergals and just get robbed of all context and turned into generic fursonas anyway

introduce people to my stuff hype it up if you want to carry the metaphor this is a messy table in the bar and there's some nice stuff here on this table but i'm not cleaning it up and if people wanna come over and enjoy it that makes me very pleased but i stand on no ceremony my magic is too powerful to need rituals i cannot be stopped i am in constant communion with the eyes behind the sky

It's hard to market right now anyway, most of the usual gathering points are dead or dying, and there's too much irl disruption at the moment. Things'll come back, but we're at a low point in the cycle.

It is painful to the soul, but I have to admit I'd find it darkly hilarious if one of your carefully considered races accidentally ended up as a meme species. The sergal thing is the goofiest ever: grimdark edgelords created only for rape and murder turned into "hai guis, check out my new fursona! He's got a rainbow tail cuz he's pretty gay (and also kinda a slut). haha, cheezeface!" Is conceptual rape grimdark?

I get what you're saying though. Not everything has to be a business, or super serious. There's a balance artists and writers have to find between organization and discipline on one side and just exploring free-form on the other, and as long as you're happy where you are, go for it. I'll definitely spread the word when I can though. Whatever this craziness is, it does my soul good.

fandom's fuckken dead yall burned furs are back but now they're hero children who think anyone drawing porn is evil and anyone drawing bad porn is literally causing the things they draw to happen in real life as if drawing a rape porn causes a rape nah man see it's not the poor rapist's fault for doing a rape, you drew the rape porn he had no CHOICE but to force himself on you look at what you were WEARING how did the "good guy" side end up doing the "she was asking for it" defense the fandom's dead let it die the glory days of the late 90s and early 00s are long gone the internet died it all died the experiment is over let it burn and let us recede to the west like tolkeinesque fucking elves i always felt so bad for them like wouldn't they miss these places they've been hanging around for thousands of years getting to know every whorl of wood every brick every INCH of it and it's like no you know what i get it sometimes things change so much it's like well this isn't my show anymore that's fine i don't like any of the things happening here you all can have it i'll move out to like the woods or something only in this case a lot of the elves were actual pedophiles who got arrested which happened to like a goooood chunk of the early fandom so like elves but a lot of them were shitty elves anyway so like you know what it had a good run the fandom can just die anyway and that's cool

Autumn if nothing else I love you for the fact that you're one of the three remaining people that still remember who or what "Burned Furs" was. It's all cyclical though, it'll all come around again in time. The pillars of the "community" are:

1. We like Porn
2. We like Escapism
3. We like talking animals, especially when combined with big, emotive Disney eyes.

These are eternal. These will rise again.

On a serious note though, is that why you've done less dark stuff recently, concern over the moral outrage crowd? If it's just for the sake of your own health and balance, no problem there, but it sucks if you feel like you can't just make what you want to make anymore. It seems like you'd have more freedom there than most because of how much you keep this a hobby. What're they gonna do, shut down your Patreon?

nah i just only make what i'm in the mood for

if you see it it's what i've been in the mood for

i miss the pillars of the community that were thuggish insane opinions about therianism and otherkinism though that was fun i miss arguing with people about

i miss people getting upset at someone who dared to have more than one fursona is miss how STUPID this fandom used to be what happened to all the crazies am i the last one lef t t

Ah, good then. As it should be.

As for the rest, the net used to be about ideas, and then it became about people. Partially because of increased bandwidth, and partially because forcing real life onto the internet made money, and nerds talking about nerd shit did not. What did all the good old classic sites have in common? SA, old Dig, old Reddit, old imageboards and forums, even old Youtube? Little to no profit. Could barely pay the bills. New sites, all the social media? More money than God. I think our generation just got lucky: we got a chance to enjoy the net in peace because the corporations and investors were so stupid and lazy it took them two decades to figure out how to effectively mind-rape people for profit on the web.

You're right, I miss it too. Even the stupid bullshit was at least HUMAN (unless you were therian I guess). Now it's all just a vapid popularity contest.

I'm going to become invested and then call you a sellout whore if you stop giving me free erotica

AND THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO

i dont even draw porn really anymore

sex is interesting to me like one day out of the month tbh at the most on average

Yeah okay whatever about the fleshy slapping noises, but the power exchange

THE POWER EXCHANGE

oh when you say erotica you mean like, actual classy erotica, where no one has genitals but everyone has bodies made of molded cotton where their legs are stilts like a single high heel spike and they are steppping on one another and tied together with their own threads

yeah why aren't i drawing more of that, hell

So? Keep doing it for you. It's highly entertaining to watch anyway!

i am the circus

You are the whole friggin' circus performers' trade union.

Your imagination's wanderings are the best.

I operate on the theory that if I like something enough to write it, then someone else will probably like it enough to read it. And if they don't then at least I still liked writing it.

that is the correct thing to do and you are right your writing is correctly upsetting