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5 years ago
Bark Bark!
It's been a while since I've done anything really active on here, and there are a few reasons.
1) I'm forgetful
2) Life has been... Well, life.
3) Lack of motivation?
So, let's start at the begining-ish. Back in June, I had an anxiety attack for no reason. Calm day at work, nothing happening, then BAM! Panic attack. So.. I am taking anti-anxiety/antidepressants. I'm also seeing a therapist for LOTS of therapy.
1) Anxiety therapy. Because when I have an anxiety attack, it is a problem, given that my emotions are pretty flat. So the goal is to find causes for anxiety, I suppose, and perhaps correct/overcome it?
2) Emotional therapy - In short, I have not cried in eighteen years. No violent outbursts, or sudden surges of anger... My therapist has said that it is a LOT of suppressed emotion. So much so that the cracks that most people usually show are ALSO suppressed, so it's basically as though I emote and give the desired emotional response, but I'm not really FEELING it.
3) ADHD assessment - Had that this past Wednesday. As it says; I was tested to see if I am ADHD, cause it is hard to focus and really sit still. Always moving my feet, and doing something to keep myself occupied. Mentally, imagine scrolling through a radio. A bit of channel A, a bit of channel B, some static, maybe a dash of music somewhere... That's basically what my head is like. Thoughts are there, then gone before I can get the whole thing.
4) Another testing to figure out if my memory loss (can't really remember anything from 13 years of age and earlier) is a result or repressed memories, or if it is a result of a concussion I had when I was thirteen that gave me a concussion.
5) Personality assessment - Why? Because I was in a mental institution for a week when I was 17, and while I did nothing wrong, they (at the time) said I was antisocial, so my therapist decided to take a deeper look to figure out if they meant to say that I am not social, or if I have Antisocial personality disorder (?).
So, yeah. Lots of fun, I like my therapist, I am not the biggest fan of the pills because of the side effects, but they work, I think. I can say they've made me lose weight. 12lbs since I started taking them, but that's also because I've not been eating well. Loss of appetite, so...
Anyway; that sums up the bulk of this summer. Work, therapy, pills. How's your summer treating you?
1) I'm forgetful
2) Life has been... Well, life.
3) Lack of motivation?
So, let's start at the begining-ish. Back in June, I had an anxiety attack for no reason. Calm day at work, nothing happening, then BAM! Panic attack. So.. I am taking anti-anxiety/antidepressants. I'm also seeing a therapist for LOTS of therapy.
1) Anxiety therapy. Because when I have an anxiety attack, it is a problem, given that my emotions are pretty flat. So the goal is to find causes for anxiety, I suppose, and perhaps correct/overcome it?
2) Emotional therapy - In short, I have not cried in eighteen years. No violent outbursts, or sudden surges of anger... My therapist has said that it is a LOT of suppressed emotion. So much so that the cracks that most people usually show are ALSO suppressed, so it's basically as though I emote and give the desired emotional response, but I'm not really FEELING it.
3) ADHD assessment - Had that this past Wednesday. As it says; I was tested to see if I am ADHD, cause it is hard to focus and really sit still. Always moving my feet, and doing something to keep myself occupied. Mentally, imagine scrolling through a radio. A bit of channel A, a bit of channel B, some static, maybe a dash of music somewhere... That's basically what my head is like. Thoughts are there, then gone before I can get the whole thing.
4) Another testing to figure out if my memory loss (can't really remember anything from 13 years of age and earlier) is a result or repressed memories, or if it is a result of a concussion I had when I was thirteen that gave me a concussion.
5) Personality assessment - Why? Because I was in a mental institution for a week when I was 17, and while I did nothing wrong, they (at the time) said I was antisocial, so my therapist decided to take a deeper look to figure out if they meant to say that I am not social, or if I have Antisocial personality disorder (?).
So, yeah. Lots of fun, I like my therapist, I am not the biggest fan of the pills because of the side effects, but they work, I think. I can say they've made me lose weight. 12lbs since I started taking them, but that's also because I've not been eating well. Loss of appetite, so...
Anyway; that sums up the bulk of this summer. Work, therapy, pills. How's your summer treating you?
