I have 2 sides to this
On one hand I can't help but to think that this is a good boon for you. You have a steady job and you're doing your part to help people during a pandemic. I believed if properly motivated you can push through your anxiety and memory issues.

On the other hand,you do need to take care of you too. I mean worse case scenario if you're having a breakdown or getting sick yourself that's not really gonna help anyone in the end.

I wish I can work again, I'm physically disabled struggling to get benefits. But here's what I would do. Go inquire that if you're working full time if you get some sort of vacation time. If you don't have any, let them know of the stress you're under. If they still can't help you then I recommend that next time you're off the clock just put on some relaxing sounds and think about what you want to do. Now i you do get vacation time cash that bad boy i right away and just defunk from everything and think things over XD

I do appreciate the security that comes with having a steady job, and even though the temptation to quit has eaten away at me for months, I've resisted the temptation to because I know quitting comes with some really huge risks. I'm just simply not in my best state of mind, and it's been that way for months. I was struggling with my ADHD and anxiety even before the pandemic, but now it's become unusually difficult to manage. I feel requesting a vacation would be a lot less drastic and it's something I should consider instead.

yeah lol

I know how you feel. I'm immunocompromised but have still had to work for most of the pandemic (city only made us close for two months). Some days can feel pretty terrifying, especially with how little some of my coworkers/bosses take this seriously. Personally, if you genuinely think you can stay afloat with commissions, go for it. (Although you could also try a vacation first, like I saw you mention below. Probably the safer option.)

I'll do my best. I just got to get the wheels rolling as soon as I can. I really miss drawing for others.

I'm sure you'll do fine. Not to totally kiss your ass or anything but you're a talented guy with one of the cutest Toony art styles around. I'd probably do the same if I had the confidence lol. I wish you nothing but the best

I'd love to chat with you about it! Would you like for me to send you a reminder here or on Telegram?

Hey sweetums :> I know how hard it can be to work a job you don't like. But unfortunately here in Florida its really hard to find jobs right now since we're getting the worst of it. It's been really stressful here. Do you live in a particular hotspot like Broward? You can DM me about it on telegram(Still in contact with mastah paradisebirb~) if you wanna talk birb things

I'm in the Orlando area. And sure, I'm always open for bird talk.

Sorry for a late response here, but I'd definitely before quitting be up front with management. However I'd make sure to put it in a way that make it sound like youre drawing a line, but also looking out for everyone's best interests.

A "Hey, I appreciate that yall like me enough here to try to move me full time, but this is causing problems in my non work life as my family and outside relationships need me and while I thnk you for it I really need to be back to part time. Plus as part time you dont have to give me all the full-time benefits which Im suuuuure saves $$$. I know you all mean well, but I really need to be back to my normal hours. Heck maybe swing in another part timer as that way you're still getting coverage and avoiding overtime pay to save a few bucks again"

Smart management will get the hint. The very strong hint.

That puts the ball in their court, and keeps things in your best interests. Best scenario they listen and put you back to normal hours. Or they at least say "Okay, youll still be on for just a little until the next schedule is drawn up" with maybe a timeframe to ease the stress some. Worst case and they say no, then you can put in your two weeks.

In the case of you quitting, remember that quitting does disable unemployment hence why it is good to have your ducks in a row before doing that (no pun intended). However, if you're unable to meet it and they terminate your contract early then you'll qualify along with being able to argue "they hired me part time and despite it being what I was hired for, they let me go as I was unable to work more than hired for" in the instance they deny unemployment.

No matter what though, just take a couple breathers and some time to yourself to think it through.

Thanks, Vermy. I did bring up working part-time hours again with my boss. He explained to me that the pandemic left vacancies in the employee schedule I've had to fill until they hire more people. I could just hang in there and wait for those people to come, and I plan to, but it's been incredibly tiring. I'd be happier if I could just get the wheels moving to become a commission artist instead.

I agree with charliemcgreevy and vermyfox, try to get some vacation time and let your bosses know how you feel, maybe try to convince them to let you do part time hours again? If you can get vacation time use that time to think things through with a clearer head. If you quit and you find out doing art for a job isnt for you its probably gonna be hard to find another job with the current state of things.

As someone who does do art for a living I can tell you its not always fun nor relaxing. You wont always get to draw what you want to draw if you want to make ends meet. And if you dont already have a dedicated client-base then getting people to even buy your art at all can be hard. Not to mention the eventual artblock/burnout that come from that.

Just be careful with your decision, sometimes what you want is not what is best for you.

I believe you, and I'm exercising extreme caution. I really don't have any concrete plans to quit my job right away as soon as possible, and I'm not even certain I have the client-base possible to sustain doing art full-time. Even if I did, I'm sure it would come with its own set of obstacles. Like you said, I wouldn't always get to draw what I want, and the possibility of experiencing burnout would still follow me, even when doing a job I'd find more personally fulfilling. My only recourse right now is to hang in there at my job and experiment with ways to make my artistic output quicker so I can take commissions at all.

I think hanging in there for now is the best option. And while you do that maybe communicate with your followers about what kind of things they would potentially buy from you? Kinda get a better feeling of what to expect when it comes to what people want to see from you and how it lines up with your own interests, stuff like that.

It's okay to leave if you feel unsafe and worried I'd sure be nervous about being in a hospital. I dunno how they don't spread around there. owo Even being at a cafeteria's kinda risky if everyone goes there.

One of my exes quit their retail job, customers were coming in without masks, and they even had a lil scary and some symptoms and had to quarantine - luckily they didn't have it, but that's enough to make anyone wanna quit, and their work totally understood it. Yours probably would too! Even if it's inconvenient.

I also had a job I wanted to quit but they kept wanting me to stay so that new people would come and get hired and fill the gaps. But it took months and eventually I stopped waiting and left. I'm sure hospitals are hiring, but it might be good to think about how many people are actually applying to a danger zone like that. Probably not many. :x So, I'm not sure when help would be on the way. If not, and if there's no way to check or know, don't let them drag you along.

Though, I've also tried living off of commissions - and uh it's very hard, haha. I think it's best when people have a constant fan base and flow of commissions. I only know 2-3 artists who get a ton of work each week and month, multiple people daily, who could help. No harm in starting! But also, when you calculate how much money you need to make, how much you charge, how much time it takes, it might help you realize what's realistic. Any money is good and helpful though! But also, this might be outdated, but art kinda drains you, right? I feel like it'd be a lot of work and energy for you to draw 8 hours a day, every day, all of a sudden too. I'll hope you're up for it, but it's understandably hard tiring work for anyone.

Anyway! I hope maybe you can get some social security thing if you quit, I think it's important to keep your life safe in these times. No one wants to die from a simple job, and even folks who play things safe have been catching Covid. I've had two friends and one family member that had to quarantine, and thankfully only know two people within communities I'm around that died from it. Keep yourself safe!

Haha also, I sorta got into being a fox lately! Reminds me of you since we both had more unique species, and switched to the most common one for a bit - but foxes sure are cute! Foxnard, out.

Hey, great to see you again, Oxnard! Thanks for reaching out and sharing your thoughts!

To answer one of your concerns, art still sorta drains me, but I'm seeing a pattern as to how and why. I notice I'm on a roll producing art up until I draw something really ambitious. That is when I get drained. When all I'm drawing are sketches, I can keep going. It's when I need to work on the line art and shading and sometimes draw a background when suddenly I experience that burnout. Currently I'm attempting to figure out how to make my sketches look as presentable as possible so I can start taking commissions doing those instead.

Burnout seems to follow me in everything I do, especially with this job, but I'd rather experience that burnout doing something safer and also something I find more emotionally fulfilling. Where I'm at right now, I don't expect it to be an easy path, but I'm coming to the conclusion that there probably is no easy path to begin with. I can hang in there for a while longer, maybe speak to my manager about my insurance and seek medical assistance, but that's the extent of what I can do right now while I'm still employed at this company.

I'm having doubts the company will find more people willing to work in such a precarious environment during an outbreak. I've been hanging in there this entire pandemic, and I'm not seeing any signs of it easing up where I live anytime soon. I'm not about to put in my two weeks yet, but it's beginning to feel like I'm going to lose everything regardless if I stay or if I go.