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2020: The Year of Setbacks
5 years ago
If you tell me my feet stink, I’ll hold them against you... 😏
I know it’s not an original thought, but I think it bears repeating: 2020 friggin’ sucked!
It’s a week before my birthday and I’m up helping my dad out with work/renovations. He’s a great guy, but he’s got a lot of his own problems he’s dealing with (which are also my problems because we live together) and lately he’s been putting off doing a certain task. We both procrastinate, I do it too. But it gets to the point where ENTIRE DAYS get lost because nothing gets done. Well, next to nothing. I’m still running around doing dishes, making food, cleaning up, doing constant menial tasks, etc... all for someone who ends up criticizing or complaining about how I did something/didn’t do something/did the wrong thing/not doing it how he wants it done. Something as tiny and insignificant as walking to meet him at the produce aisle at Safeway somehow means ‘I did it wrong...’ And yet he denies that he constantly second-guesses everything I do. The moment I do the same to him, he gets incredibly insulted and defensive, even if it’s something completely justified, like if he plugs up our barely-functioning toilet and DOESN’T do anything about the plug! Or if he leaves the front door wide open while the AC’s going and doesn’t think twice, but immediately jumps at your throat because the tiny bathroom window on the opposite end of the house was open a crack... 😐
Maybe that’s why I feel like I’m going crazy, why I keep second-guessing my own thoughts and actions when I clearly shouldn’t. My dad’s got a constant fear of what people think of him, to the point where his paranoia somehow extends into my life when he asked my cousin behind my back whether or not our mutual friends that me and him hang out with are actually my friends...... 🤦🏻♂️🤦🏻♂️🤦🏻♂️
Here’s an idea... how about you worry about YOUR OWN SHIT instead of ASSUMING things that aren’t true? How about instead of making me worry about basic shit that literally doesn’t require a second thought, or criticizing me over the tiniest things, how about you try getting your own life in order for a change?
If you honestly think I’m LYING TO YOU when I tell you about the 7th Game in a Playoff series and you think it’s the 6th game because “I heard them say Game 6 on TV, but I think they might’ve made a mistake,” (aka LITERALLY REFUTING YOUR OWN POINT!!!!!!) and then checking not just the local news sports segment about it, but FUCKING SPORTSCENTRE as if the LOCAL NEWS IS LYING TOO, then CLEARLY YOU’VE GOT FUCKING TRUST ISSUES YOU NEED TO WORK ON!!!!!
Holy crap, I just wanted to be able to write and draw and post stuff on here, but every day it’s “Okay, we’re doing the room! We’re taking care of the room. Put down your phone and let’s do this!”, then 3-4 joints later we’re watching frigging reruns of Seinfeld and crap for 4 hours, then he wants me to make lunch, then after linch it’s a fucking 3 hour nap, now the sun’s down, the day’s wasted, I haven’t drawn or wrote anything yet again, but somehow it’s my fault we did nothing.
I wanted to be able to figure out a way to get a Paypal or something similar set up without having to worry about my info getting compromised. I really wanted to commission some work from people and maybe write some stories for them. All it feels like I’ve done is nothing, and apparently I can’t even do that right.... 😞
What am I even doing?
It’s a week before my birthday and I’m up helping my dad out with work/renovations. He’s a great guy, but he’s got a lot of his own problems he’s dealing with (which are also my problems because we live together) and lately he’s been putting off doing a certain task. We both procrastinate, I do it too. But it gets to the point where ENTIRE DAYS get lost because nothing gets done. Well, next to nothing. I’m still running around doing dishes, making food, cleaning up, doing constant menial tasks, etc... all for someone who ends up criticizing or complaining about how I did something/didn’t do something/did the wrong thing/not doing it how he wants it done. Something as tiny and insignificant as walking to meet him at the produce aisle at Safeway somehow means ‘I did it wrong...’ And yet he denies that he constantly second-guesses everything I do. The moment I do the same to him, he gets incredibly insulted and defensive, even if it’s something completely justified, like if he plugs up our barely-functioning toilet and DOESN’T do anything about the plug! Or if he leaves the front door wide open while the AC’s going and doesn’t think twice, but immediately jumps at your throat because the tiny bathroom window on the opposite end of the house was open a crack... 😐
Maybe that’s why I feel like I’m going crazy, why I keep second-guessing my own thoughts and actions when I clearly shouldn’t. My dad’s got a constant fear of what people think of him, to the point where his paranoia somehow extends into my life when he asked my cousin behind my back whether or not our mutual friends that me and him hang out with are actually my friends...... 🤦🏻♂️🤦🏻♂️🤦🏻♂️
Here’s an idea... how about you worry about YOUR OWN SHIT instead of ASSUMING things that aren’t true? How about instead of making me worry about basic shit that literally doesn’t require a second thought, or criticizing me over the tiniest things, how about you try getting your own life in order for a change?
If you honestly think I’m LYING TO YOU when I tell you about the 7th Game in a Playoff series and you think it’s the 6th game because “I heard them say Game 6 on TV, but I think they might’ve made a mistake,” (aka LITERALLY REFUTING YOUR OWN POINT!!!!!!) and then checking not just the local news sports segment about it, but FUCKING SPORTSCENTRE as if the LOCAL NEWS IS LYING TOO, then CLEARLY YOU’VE GOT FUCKING TRUST ISSUES YOU NEED TO WORK ON!!!!!
Holy crap, I just wanted to be able to write and draw and post stuff on here, but every day it’s “Okay, we’re doing the room! We’re taking care of the room. Put down your phone and let’s do this!”, then 3-4 joints later we’re watching frigging reruns of Seinfeld and crap for 4 hours, then he wants me to make lunch, then after linch it’s a fucking 3 hour nap, now the sun’s down, the day’s wasted, I haven’t drawn or wrote anything yet again, but somehow it’s my fault we did nothing.
I wanted to be able to figure out a way to get a Paypal or something similar set up without having to worry about my info getting compromised. I really wanted to commission some work from people and maybe write some stories for them. All it feels like I’ve done is nothing, and apparently I can’t even do that right.... 😞
What am I even doing?
