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Kurt Vonnegut’s Big Space Fuck
5 years ago
If you tell me my feet stink, I’ll hold them against you... 😏
I’ve heard really interesting things about this notoriously ‘raunchy’ short story by famed author Kurt Vonnegut and after reading it just now I’ve come to realize something.... humanity’s kinda fucked! 😅
In the Big Space Fuck, everything’s gone to shit... literally. Excess pollution has transformed the Great Lakes into massive cesspools of garbage and filth that’ve mutated the blood-thirsty lampreys into truly horrendous sizes (some as big as the Big Fuck itself). Also, profanity’s par for the course, so you can say whatever the fuck you want without repercussion. And in case you’re a woman who’s struggling with the extremely difficult decision of keeping your baby or not............ Just know that abortions are free AND you get your choice of either a bedroom lamp or a bathroom scale if you do. Incentives!!!
You also have laws in place where young adults aged 21 and older can actively SUE their parents and even have them sent to jail for virtually any negative influence in their lives. Did your mom spank you for drawing on the wallpaper when you were 4? Perfect! You can say that ‘the physical and emotional abuse you suffered from that traumatic event caused you to develop a fear of drawing and art supplies, thus potentially robbing you of a lucrative art career.’ It’s just that simple!
But I’m missing the point of it all. What IS the Big Space Fuck? Simply put, it’s a rocket full of freeze-dried cum.
WAIT, SORRY!!! I misspoke!
Freeze-dried jizzum! That’s what I meant to say. ‘Cum’ just sounds icky and disgusting but ‘jizzum?’ You can practically ‘feel’ the class dripping off of the word. Because if you were to tell the average person that the US was planning on sending a rocket full of cum into the Andromeda Galaxy to find a hospitable planet to live on, they’d look at you with absolute confusion on your face. But tell them the exact same thing but with jizzum, and instead they’ll give you a sombre nod as they too know the importance of finding a better planet to live on instead of the one that we were given that’s perfectly fine if it weren’t for the constant raping and pillaging of resources, excessive pollution and crushing system of debt-slavery that WE AS PEOPLE created!
I’m getting ahead of myself, though. For a story that was written in 1972 set in 1989, it’s actually kind of interesting how eerie things are now compared to what was predicted. Obviously a lot of the stuff in the short story is fictitious, but it’s just enough to slightly suspend your disbelief instead of outright letting it go. Of course there are no 38 foot mutant sewage lampreys that devour people outside of their homes! We already have large radioactive wolves living around Chernobyl and supercharged brain-eating amoeba living in certain bodies of water in North America, so where would we even fit the lampreys?
If you have about 15 minutes to kill (it’s not a long story at all), I recommend looking up Kurt Vonnegut’s Big Space Fuck. It’s definitely not as well known as his other works, but it definitely holds a lot of relevance in this day and age.
*Cue the little 3-note guitar riff from Reading Rainbow.*
<DUN-NUH DAH!!!>
https://sensitiveskinmagazine.com/b.....kurt-vonnegut/
In the Big Space Fuck, everything’s gone to shit... literally. Excess pollution has transformed the Great Lakes into massive cesspools of garbage and filth that’ve mutated the blood-thirsty lampreys into truly horrendous sizes (some as big as the Big Fuck itself). Also, profanity’s par for the course, so you can say whatever the fuck you want without repercussion. And in case you’re a woman who’s struggling with the extremely difficult decision of keeping your baby or not............ Just know that abortions are free AND you get your choice of either a bedroom lamp or a bathroom scale if you do. Incentives!!!
You also have laws in place where young adults aged 21 and older can actively SUE their parents and even have them sent to jail for virtually any negative influence in their lives. Did your mom spank you for drawing on the wallpaper when you were 4? Perfect! You can say that ‘the physical and emotional abuse you suffered from that traumatic event caused you to develop a fear of drawing and art supplies, thus potentially robbing you of a lucrative art career.’ It’s just that simple!
But I’m missing the point of it all. What IS the Big Space Fuck? Simply put, it’s a rocket full of freeze-dried cum.
WAIT, SORRY!!! I misspoke!
Freeze-dried jizzum! That’s what I meant to say. ‘Cum’ just sounds icky and disgusting but ‘jizzum?’ You can practically ‘feel’ the class dripping off of the word. Because if you were to tell the average person that the US was planning on sending a rocket full of cum into the Andromeda Galaxy to find a hospitable planet to live on, they’d look at you with absolute confusion on your face. But tell them the exact same thing but with jizzum, and instead they’ll give you a sombre nod as they too know the importance of finding a better planet to live on instead of the one that we were given that’s perfectly fine if it weren’t for the constant raping and pillaging of resources, excessive pollution and crushing system of debt-slavery that WE AS PEOPLE created!
I’m getting ahead of myself, though. For a story that was written in 1972 set in 1989, it’s actually kind of interesting how eerie things are now compared to what was predicted. Obviously a lot of the stuff in the short story is fictitious, but it’s just enough to slightly suspend your disbelief instead of outright letting it go. Of course there are no 38 foot mutant sewage lampreys that devour people outside of their homes! We already have large radioactive wolves living around Chernobyl and supercharged brain-eating amoeba living in certain bodies of water in North America, so where would we even fit the lampreys?
If you have about 15 minutes to kill (it’s not a long story at all), I recommend looking up Kurt Vonnegut’s Big Space Fuck. It’s definitely not as well known as his other works, but it definitely holds a lot of relevance in this day and age.
*Cue the little 3-note guitar riff from Reading Rainbow.*
<DUN-NUH DAH!!!>
https://sensitiveskinmagazine.com/b.....kurt-vonnegut/
Still need to read Cat’s Cradle myself. It’s been forever since I’ve read a good book.