I recently ended my relationship with my paternal grandmother, who was abusive, and my aunt by extension. However, I can’t help but miss them, since I have a lot of good memories with them too. I also miss their pets, who I loved dearly, and know that I’ll never be able to see them again.

I know these changes are for the better, but my other grandparents are dead. So now I have none. And I wonder, will I someday have to break contact with my parents too?

I’ve also been having a lot of body image issues lately. I recently noticed that I wear lots of XL stuff, and I decided to sell some of it and replace it with smaller clothes, but I ended up just feeling silly afterward.

I’m also worried about the world in general. I’m graduating soon but I’m not sure if I’ll be able to get a job, or even move out of my parents’ house. And with the virus, and the election, and the violence going on, I feel worse than ever. I sometimes wonder if it would be better to just end it all. I know that I shouldn’t, that things will get better, but it keeps getting harder to tell myself that.

Sorry if I’m ranting, I just have a lot of things to get off my chest. Thanks for reading, I guess.