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Stop Taking Yourself Too Seriously
5 years ago
When misguided public opinion honors what is despicable and despises what is honorable, punishes virtue and rewards vice, encourages what is harmful and discourages what is useful, applauds falsehood and smothers truth under indifference or insult, a nation turns its back on progress and can be restored only by the terrible lessons of catastrophe. – Frederic Bastiat
What happens when you ask a group of kids to draw?
They start drawing. And if you ask them to dance? They just dance. However, if you ask the same question to an adult, they usually reply, “I don’t know.” Instead of jumping into action, they connect with their logical brain.
We are afraid of being ridiculed: Shame kills our drive.
Adults are desperate for approval—the fear of rejection prevent us from doing what we want. Kids draw and dance not because they are good at it—they simply don’t know what they don’t know. Kids play and do what they feel like—that’s how they learn.
When we fear being laughed at, we stop...
Doing what we want
Having fun
Learning
That’s the problem with taking ourselves too seriously: We choose to look good over learning new things. Fear makes our lives boring and repetitive.
The Fear of Being Ridiculed
Fear is an emotional response to a threat in the present—it’s a natural reaction to an attack, real or perceived.
The fear of ridicule is anticipation—we worry about something that might happen. It’s like walking through a crowd and worrying that people won’t like you or might laugh at you.
Where does the fear of ridicule come from?
It all starts by letting expectations determine how we live. We start taking ourselves too seriously and then seek for approval—we allow people to become our judges.
As Brené Brown explains in her book Daring Greatly, shame makes us feel disconnected. Women are expected to be naturally perfect. Men live under the pressure of not being perceived as weak. The author captures the need for worthiness in the sequence “pleasing, performing, and perfecting.”
External expectations are a moving target, as I wrote in this post. By trying to please everyone, we end up pleasing no one—ourselves included.
We wrongly believe the world is a stage. Our self-worth is tied to how our audiences receive our performance. If they love it, we are worth it. If they don’t, we feel worthless. Living our lives as an endless performance is exhausting—we are always playing a part.
Perfectionism is the enemy of change. The bar is so high that we never rest to have fun. Who you should be. What you should be. How you should be. We want to do everything the right way—one single mistake could ruin everything we’ve built.
Sound familiar?
When we take ourselves seriously, we take others seriously, too—that’s why their opinions can hurt us. Labels don’t define you unless you allow them to. People can call you whatever they want, that doesn’t mean you should make those labels yours.
The solution lies in finding balance: Take life seriously, but not yourself.
Gustavo Razzetti
The Adaptive Mind
They start drawing. And if you ask them to dance? They just dance. However, if you ask the same question to an adult, they usually reply, “I don’t know.” Instead of jumping into action, they connect with their logical brain.
We are afraid of being ridiculed: Shame kills our drive.
Adults are desperate for approval—the fear of rejection prevent us from doing what we want. Kids draw and dance not because they are good at it—they simply don’t know what they don’t know. Kids play and do what they feel like—that’s how they learn.
When we fear being laughed at, we stop...
Doing what we want
Having fun
Learning
That’s the problem with taking ourselves too seriously: We choose to look good over learning new things. Fear makes our lives boring and repetitive.
The Fear of Being Ridiculed
Fear is an emotional response to a threat in the present—it’s a natural reaction to an attack, real or perceived.
The fear of ridicule is anticipation—we worry about something that might happen. It’s like walking through a crowd and worrying that people won’t like you or might laugh at you.
Where does the fear of ridicule come from?
It all starts by letting expectations determine how we live. We start taking ourselves too seriously and then seek for approval—we allow people to become our judges.
As Brené Brown explains in her book Daring Greatly, shame makes us feel disconnected. Women are expected to be naturally perfect. Men live under the pressure of not being perceived as weak. The author captures the need for worthiness in the sequence “pleasing, performing, and perfecting.”
External expectations are a moving target, as I wrote in this post. By trying to please everyone, we end up pleasing no one—ourselves included.
We wrongly believe the world is a stage. Our self-worth is tied to how our audiences receive our performance. If they love it, we are worth it. If they don’t, we feel worthless. Living our lives as an endless performance is exhausting—we are always playing a part.
Perfectionism is the enemy of change. The bar is so high that we never rest to have fun. Who you should be. What you should be. How you should be. We want to do everything the right way—one single mistake could ruin everything we’ve built.
Sound familiar?
When we take ourselves seriously, we take others seriously, too—that’s why their opinions can hurt us. Labels don’t define you unless you allow them to. People can call you whatever they want, that doesn’t mean you should make those labels yours.
The solution lies in finding balance: Take life seriously, but not yourself.
Gustavo Razzetti
The Adaptive Mind
The future is uncertain, we hope for the best of what to come.
It is the here & now that we must live.
whit hope, faith & wisdom for the benefit of are self's & all.