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I Guess I Lost a Friend?
5 years ago
So, a conversation happened, as they do. Politics came up, as they do. COVID came up, as it does. Apparently, speaking truthfully (if callously) about people who do not and refuse to wear masks themselves dying of--or at least getting sick from--the virus was enough to spark a response of "You are mentally fucked dude" and they go offline. I figure it was internet, or maybe they raged out and things would be normal the next day. And then a couple days later, them never seeming to log back in, I notice I'm not in their patreon discord anymore, they're gone from my Steam friends list, and they're gone from Telegram.
They full on blocked me.
I genuinely do not know what triggered this. If they somehow were getting tired of me, there was no indication. We had just been playing a game the night before or night before that. They have openly praised me for being one of the few genuine and honest people they consider a friend, who don't want something out of them for the friendship other than company. They're a rather cynical person and is quick to distrust (as well as pig headedness and anger, as some arguments we've had can attest to, and they would openly acknowledge such labels), but we developed a history. I seemed among the minimally few consistent people they could spend time with and trust. We've covered weird topics before, we've spoken darkly before, shared dark humor, but we certainly seemed to know who each other were. And yet, some years of friendship have apparently ended in a sudden and confusing error beep.
"You are mentally fucked dude"
"How so," i ask within seconds.
"This person is offline," replies the beeping bot.
So, fair enough if they were struck by my callousness. To bring you up to speed on the conversation, they had been talking about how so many people are just letting the virus keep them from living. My retort was that many people either do not take it seriously, or even deny it is harmful or is as bad as it is, and how that ruins it for everyone else. I blurt out the suggestion a good third of the USA is like this (certainly, a significant portion is far too lazy, apathetic, or selfish about mask wearing) and analogize it as, how safe would you feel on the road if a full third of all drivers were DUI? They suggest these people don't exactly deny its existence, but they still go out and live while others do not. And so, my callous response...
"I think you've missed my point. Many of those same people suddenly aren't living so much, either literally because they died of COVID or figuratively because they're in quarantine recovering from it and hoping they don't suffer lasting effects like a scarred heart or some shit"
"You are mentally fucked dude"
*BLOCKED*
Was it the way I responded? Did they somehow think I was saying the people staying home are the ones dying (and in all honestly, they are, too)? Was explaining the reality of the situation that plenty of those people out there "living" have actively spread, caught, and even died from the virus? Or been permanently harmed by it such as having their heart scarred? I have no clue. They've heard me speak callously before. They've spoken callously, too, and far worse (remember their quick-to-anger pig headedness? It has gotten them in trouble before and they accept and acknowledge their faults). And yet, I am blocked. I don't get it. I mean, seriously, case in point: Herman Cain. The guy goes to the Tulsa rally, proudly tweets a selfie out about being there, and within a few more weeks he dies of the virus he caught at the rally. And whatever subhuman scumbags control the man's Twitter account decided to tweet out, after he dies, how the mainstream media is overblowing the virus. I'm going to dare share more than I had the chance to share with my now former friend. I laughed when I learned of Herman Cain's death. I couldn't help myself but laugh at the absurd. I have a bit of a nihilist streak (it keeps me sane). I mean, for real, the guy denies the virus is a problem, ignores all possible guidelines to remain safe, and ultimately catches it and dies. Trump himself nearly fucking died from it if not for the fact he's the president and got pumped full of steroids and stem cells to fight it. Not to break on too much of a tangent here, but we're almost certainly going to hit 100k cases in a day by mid november because simply not enough people take the virus seriously. Simply because of so many people out there "living" their lives versus being too "scared" to live, who don't wear masks properly or at all and don't engage with any other recommendations to stay safe and reduce the spread. They "live" at the expense of the whole country and our economy, forcing the rest of us taking it seriously to slowly grow more and more stir crazy because of these incredibly selfish people.
But, recognizing all of this means I'm fucked in the head.
If that is all it took to end what was by all accounts a strong friendship, then I guess all I've done in the end is dodge a bullet. They were a difficult person at times (again, the pig headedness) but there was still a warm and genuine heart under that jagged and crudely blunt exterior. I feel weird as hell. I just hope this helps get it out of my head and let me move on sooner than later. Feel odd looking at the art they've done for me now, but I guess I'll get over that. Still paid for the stuff after all.
I'm not exactly seeking pity or anyone's condolences here. Like I said, just hoping putting this out there makes the anxiety less severe and weird. But, thanks for reading at least. And if YOU (yes, you, the "they" in this journal) read this... Seriously? The fuck? Good luck with the move when it happens, I guess? Have a nice (and lonely) life?
They full on blocked me.
I genuinely do not know what triggered this. If they somehow were getting tired of me, there was no indication. We had just been playing a game the night before or night before that. They have openly praised me for being one of the few genuine and honest people they consider a friend, who don't want something out of them for the friendship other than company. They're a rather cynical person and is quick to distrust (as well as pig headedness and anger, as some arguments we've had can attest to, and they would openly acknowledge such labels), but we developed a history. I seemed among the minimally few consistent people they could spend time with and trust. We've covered weird topics before, we've spoken darkly before, shared dark humor, but we certainly seemed to know who each other were. And yet, some years of friendship have apparently ended in a sudden and confusing error beep.
"You are mentally fucked dude"
"How so," i ask within seconds.
"This person is offline," replies the beeping bot.
So, fair enough if they were struck by my callousness. To bring you up to speed on the conversation, they had been talking about how so many people are just letting the virus keep them from living. My retort was that many people either do not take it seriously, or even deny it is harmful or is as bad as it is, and how that ruins it for everyone else. I blurt out the suggestion a good third of the USA is like this (certainly, a significant portion is far too lazy, apathetic, or selfish about mask wearing) and analogize it as, how safe would you feel on the road if a full third of all drivers were DUI? They suggest these people don't exactly deny its existence, but they still go out and live while others do not. And so, my callous response...
"I think you've missed my point. Many of those same people suddenly aren't living so much, either literally because they died of COVID or figuratively because they're in quarantine recovering from it and hoping they don't suffer lasting effects like a scarred heart or some shit"
"You are mentally fucked dude"
*BLOCKED*
Was it the way I responded? Did they somehow think I was saying the people staying home are the ones dying (and in all honestly, they are, too)? Was explaining the reality of the situation that plenty of those people out there "living" have actively spread, caught, and even died from the virus? Or been permanently harmed by it such as having their heart scarred? I have no clue. They've heard me speak callously before. They've spoken callously, too, and far worse (remember their quick-to-anger pig headedness? It has gotten them in trouble before and they accept and acknowledge their faults). And yet, I am blocked. I don't get it. I mean, seriously, case in point: Herman Cain. The guy goes to the Tulsa rally, proudly tweets a selfie out about being there, and within a few more weeks he dies of the virus he caught at the rally. And whatever subhuman scumbags control the man's Twitter account decided to tweet out, after he dies, how the mainstream media is overblowing the virus. I'm going to dare share more than I had the chance to share with my now former friend. I laughed when I learned of Herman Cain's death. I couldn't help myself but laugh at the absurd. I have a bit of a nihilist streak (it keeps me sane). I mean, for real, the guy denies the virus is a problem, ignores all possible guidelines to remain safe, and ultimately catches it and dies. Trump himself nearly fucking died from it if not for the fact he's the president and got pumped full of steroids and stem cells to fight it. Not to break on too much of a tangent here, but we're almost certainly going to hit 100k cases in a day by mid november because simply not enough people take the virus seriously. Simply because of so many people out there "living" their lives versus being too "scared" to live, who don't wear masks properly or at all and don't engage with any other recommendations to stay safe and reduce the spread. They "live" at the expense of the whole country and our economy, forcing the rest of us taking it seriously to slowly grow more and more stir crazy because of these incredibly selfish people.
But, recognizing all of this means I'm fucked in the head.
If that is all it took to end what was by all accounts a strong friendship, then I guess all I've done in the end is dodge a bullet. They were a difficult person at times (again, the pig headedness) but there was still a warm and genuine heart under that jagged and crudely blunt exterior. I feel weird as hell. I just hope this helps get it out of my head and let me move on sooner than later. Feel odd looking at the art they've done for me now, but I guess I'll get over that. Still paid for the stuff after all.
I'm not exactly seeking pity or anyone's condolences here. Like I said, just hoping putting this out there makes the anxiety less severe and weird. But, thanks for reading at least. And if YOU (yes, you, the "they" in this journal) read this... Seriously? The fuck? Good luck with the move when it happens, I guess? Have a nice (and lonely) life?
It's put in a moral framing because it should be. I'll leave it at that.
The fact is; not wearing a mask puts other people’s lives at risk.
The efficacy of masks is not a matter of opinion, nor is it up for debate. Wear a mask or be prepared to be hated or talked down to for potentially harming other people.
Our society protects freedom of speech, not freedom of opinion and nowhere in the constitution does it say people shouldn’t be held accountable for their words or actions.
I will happily figuratively die on this hill to try and prevent you from killing someone else literally with ignorance because that’s what’s at stake. Sorry if you don’t like it or feel uncomfortable- I’m not comfortable with the idea of folks putting me or others at risk because they won’t wear a mask or social distance.
My family has actually had Covid quite literally 2 weeks ago, we respected the Health Dept. rules and stayed at home (Maaaaaybe one trip only in a care for a poke go community day... but hey I am a stickler for shinies :P) and we got cleared to go back to work. We still wear masks, we still respect the rules... just know when the government starts overstepping and telling us what we can and can't do.
I hope you and your bud can work things out though... kinda a stupid topic to get so hot headed about in my opinion!
Also, I can't help but be nihilistic. I have to be able to laugh at the absurd. The fact that I recognize how wrong it is to be laughing at the Cain situation helps me keep from becoming a bad person. It wasn't maliciousness that made me laugh and his family genuinely has my condolences; his death was just a more extreme version of watching someone doing something stupid like jumping on a flimsy table and laughing when they hurt themselves as it breaks under their weight. Hopefully, that makes sense ]:8P
But I doubt anything will get worked out. They blocked me and it's up to them to beg forgiveness for such a move. I wash my hands of them with this journal, they've had time to reconcile.
Protecting other people from a disease you can be sure if you have shouldn’t be controversial. Everyone is so wrapped up in not wanting to be a sheep or thinking they’re brave or have something to prove.
My mom almost died of a brain tumor less than four years ago- it baffles me that she treats her life with such carelessness now as to be going on bike rides with friends and such.
People are a mob, sadly. They want others to think for them. Make them feel special while doing it and they'll commit to such acts that common sense becomes a meaningless phrase.
Your mom not wear a helmet, I take it?
However.. the NY government also was brutally idiotic in many of the other rules.. and blatantly lied about the purpose. It was all "Flatten the curve" initially, saying only a vaccine would get us out of it... but once the curve was exceptionally flattened... the rules didn't uncoil.. they kept things locked down and the local businesses withered. Promises were made if you do A) B) C) you can open..and then the rules were changed..and many businesses collapsed. The hypocrisy of tacitly supporting protests when the infection was raging....when the most affected people where the very same being exposed.... It just has become a situation where the stage goverment is flexing its power on people...and thus people get frustrated with rules for thee and not for me. That trust gets lost and people will stop following sensible rules
damn got sidetracked, as for the initial post, yeah, There is a reason I don't talk about things like politics online, I don't see the benefit, you end up putting up walls because this person supports this and this person supports that, starting to forget people are a ton of different beliefs and no one is a monolithic person.
I think the best thing to do is let it be a matter of opinion. Some people don't wear the mask because their statement is that "a lockdown for a 98% survival rate is overdone." I can respect that, but I don't respect a terrible attitude from either side of the argument. I follow rules without complaints. If they want me to wear it, I will. If its not required, then that means people recognize that the lockdown is affecting is. An opinion has to be paired with good friendly attitude no matter what, or you just end up making more enemies.
Also bear in mind that the majority of the deaths are usually centered around the very old or the very young. I agree that protecting your children and elderly is necessary, but a young adult like you or me may have a much lower chance of dying from it let alone contracting it. I haven't caught it yet because I take care of myself. And I'm 99.5% certain that if I catch it, I'll heal. I'm a very healthy person so I'm careful about covid, but I'm not "afraid" of it.