listen guys. this is just my politcal opinion, nothing more. it doesnt have anyrthing to do with who i am as a person and human species identifying mammalian, please do not judge me for it. but anyways. here it goes. my cock is just absolutely massive. like, you wouldnt belive how big it is. and even if you did, you still would find it incredibly difficult to believe just how hard that makes my life. i cant even take dick pics, i need to take a panoramic photo just to get photographic evidence of the absolute monstrosity that i call my cock. i cant even reach the tip, when i masturbate i tend to cum so hard i break a window, or a wall. on occasion, ive broken my own bones. i tried cumming into my bathtub before, but it was so thick it clogged the whole fucking drain. now i have to shit in the toilet like a "normal person" which i personally, just dont think is politically correct. my people have always shat in the bath tub drain, the concept of "waffle stomping" was created by my culture as a religious dance to signify the importance of food that has been passed. I can't fucking believe my housemates expect me to pay for the plumber. what absolute fucking bullshit. dont they know this is an incredibly ancient tradition dating back literally many decades?! I'm just so fucking offended right now i dont know how to express it but ive been thinking of crapping on each of their beds. theyve been locking thier doors on account of "the incident" but i know how to get in.