So i've finished a stupid show on netflix and yet again i'm troubled by my oh so restless mind. I've often been thinking about it to write a journal on FA and share my thoughts with the furry fandom and whoever else who is here for looking at anthropomorph animals.

Usually i don't like opening up and let the world see what's on my mind which is why i rarely write journals. But now i really want to get rid of these thoughts and maybe a journal is a good way to do so.

Where is all the magic gone

I'm daydreaming a lot lately and asking myself those what if questions. I tend to create expectations to life which end up being more like a fairytale than a considerable outcome of a situation. It's like thinking when you confess your love to your school crush and you think they will love you two and you'll have a romantic lovely life together but in real life they only bully you for the rest of your schooltime.
I wish there was any of that magic we see in movies or stories when a protagonist is in a dangerously exiting situation and nobody knows how they will ever get out of there and then a series of coincidences gives them a hell lot of fortune and the whole world is saved. Who's gonna save our world i wonder.
And then there are those stories featuring these totaly normal average ordinary people living their totaly normal average ordinary people's life when suddenly a totaly not normal and absolutely unusual thing happens and then their life turns upside down being an adventure of fantastic beautiful expiriences and stuff like that. And then after 1½ hours or averagely 85 minutes the curtail falls and the credits roll. The audience cries and throws their flowers and some person such as myself would be left alone in front of the dead cold flickering screen and where there was danger exitement beauty and fantasm just some minutes before. And then i ask myself. Where's the heroe saving our world. When will there be a pandemic making all people of the world being nice to one another instead of dieing to failing lungs.

Then i'm thinking about those stories like harry potter or ghibli classics like spirited away or totoro and all the stories featuring people who thought life can't be any worse and then they found theirself in a world which literally magically changes everything. What would it hurt to have a glimpse of the specialness those stories promise. But then the credits roll and you'll be sitting there alone listening to the credit soundtrack (if you didn't already stopped the movie and looked for something else to do. Who reads credits anyways)
Then i've found myself some nice werewolf shows which really cought my attention. Average people having a super exiting second life on full moons and all that stuff. And every show tryed to make up their completly own wolf magic lore. These were worlds to dive into for my sore mind. But then there was the credit sountrack. Since every story comes to an end no matter how good it is. And that's what it was. A story.

Now all what is left is me desiring something which does not exist. It must be wonderful to transform and have all these different senses and the fur and also the freedom. It would be the perfect hybrid of living like a animal without losing the luxuries of a human life. The only problem (and yet it's a critical problem) with it is that it's not existing.

But it also has a good side. I wouldn't know how to cope with when the credits roll when that magical story is finished in real life.

Anyways thanks for reading this if you've really made it through these lines.

Also if anyone knows something like a forum for otherkin people that would be nice.

I'll say good night for now. It's 4 AM and i should really stop bothering my mind and get some rest