Hey everyone that bothers to read/look at anything I post here. First off, for those that do, thank you. Anyway, so, what is this journal about? Well, for the past few months I've gotten depressed and unmotivated to do much of anything let alone artwork. I still don't have a job for over a year now. Reason being is that I wanted to get an internship but didn't have an e-portfolio nor an animation to show for an animation internship. Months go by and I still have nothing and I graduate. Turns out, (unbeknownst to me anyway) the community college doesn't help with internships for graduates but they help with jobs. Well, I tried to make an e-portfolio and still had no finished animated pieces. I pretty much gave up on it and before I actually knew about the whole "no internship help, only jobs now" thing I was contacted by someone from the college who worked with a woman I originally talked to about internships. She never told me about only helping with getting a job via email but when we finally had a Zoom meeting, she did, if I recall. Well, we did a mock-interview and I failed with flying colors. I wasn't ready nor were my answers convincing/ good. She said the original woman I talked to was going over my resume and checking for errors and making improvements and that she recommends not having like 99% of my portfolio in my e-portfolio do to the creepy and grotesque nature and that may turn people away. Well, it's been over a month and I still haven't heard back and to me, that's good, I didn't want to deal with them anyway. So, after that I've pretty much been miserable. Sleeping during most of the day, gaining even more weight, not doing much of anything and constantly being told that I NEED to get a job by my father...even during conversations that had nothing to do with jobs....Jobs that would be in my field, I feel I don't meet the requirements nor do I feel like I could keep up given how I "work" and do things in general. Basically, I'm a mess. However, I'm slowly getting better, little by little. Trying to do stuff during the day like cleaning for example, just something to do instead of vidya gaems and sleeping and eating. Changed my medication a bit in hopes of feeling better a few days ago. I've drawn some doodles which can be found here
https://twitter.com/SkyBurial96/sta.....666812931?s=09
I didn't upload it here do to it not being the best in my eyes. I did make a new character last night/this morning which I'm happy with, hopefully I get around to finishing him and uploading him. He's a bat. If anyone reads all of this, thank you....it means a lot when people care even when you don't. ❤