...Or perhaps "artistic walkabout" would be a more accurate phrase. Hello all, and sorry that I've been so quiet for so long. I wanted to explain my absence to those who are still interested. I warn everyone, this might be rambly. You can look at the bottom of the journal if you want the short version.

At the beginning of this year, I was feeling very burnt out on commission work. I confess that I let things go too far before taking a break, and for a while I just couldn't find the creative energy to put into my art at all. I quietly decided that I would rely more on convention income this year. Heh - well we all know how that turned out in 2020.

Severe creative burnout, and then Coronavirus hits... I have to be thankful, through all this turmoil, at least my housing situation has never been in question. But the whole thing has forced me to be reliant on others for my financial stability, which is something that also historically adds a lot of stress for me. For a while, I was in a weird limbo where I couldn't seem to focus on anything much really.

At a certain point, I did come to realize something. It had been ages since I did any art for myself. Even my comic project, which was supposed to help with that problem, had become a stressful obligation that I had burned out on. It was just making me feel guilty, but I felt like I had no ability to continue on it at the time.

I threw myself into learning Blender, which I've showed a bit of a teaser on. That was very fun, but also apparently mentally exhausting. I'm so happy to know it now to a point where I can continue with 3D characters, but it also contributed to an already stressful situation. In a way, I think I've been forcing myself to spend so much time at my computer doing art over the years that it was finally catching up to me, mentally and physically.

After a while, I started drawing a bit again here and there, to develop my style, and focus for a bit on the areas that I've felt haven't gotten enough attention in the last few years. At some point, I may post some of these experiments; however, for the time being, they're a part of my artistic journey that I don't want to share.

At the same time, I still needed something for my hands to do, I guess. So I started working on my own fursuit, which I will be posting pics of soon. I have immensely enjoyed being able to work with my hands on something physical - something that really exists. I have been feeling increasingly disconnected from my work, so having something that I can touch and create is grounding me in an intoxicating way. At the same time, actually spending time developing my own art has led to some satisfying results.

After a long hiatus, I'm finally feeling ready to come back. I feel excited about art again like I haven't for - well, maybe years. I am not planning on offering huge, panoramic illustrations like before; however, I have a more "intimate" type of illustration that should be a bit quicker for me to complete, while still offering lots of room for emotions, expressions, and lighting. I am planning on offering reference sheets again, including character design services. I still have some more work to put in on the blender front, but VRChat character commissions will be available soon. I even have helpers available to make the fursuit timesink a little less awful. So, if you like the look of my Fursuit in progress, we can talk ;3

In regard to Deep Breaths, I do very much still want to work on it; however, at this point, I've decided that taking money on Patreon without giving back nearly enough makes me feel way too guilty. I hate it. It puts more stress on the project, which I think makes me avoid it more. I need to keep working on finding time to do pages when I can rather than trying to stick to a strict timeline that I obviously can't seem to follow. I appreciate so much the support that my patreon followers gave me, and I'm so sorry I didn't do more at the time. I can only redouble my efforts yet again now that my dark covid depression seems to be passing. I will think of a way to make it up to everyone, even if it's just putting out as much good art as I can again and updating the comic when I can.

But before any of that, I am announcing that I'll be taking Cyber Monday illustration commissions again this year. I'm not traveling anywhere for the holidays this year, and I have no cons to worry about. I have a few old commissions I need to finish up first (very verrry sorry about that v_v) but now that the log jam is breaking up, I'll be able to focus on getting projects done again. Link to the Cyber Monday commission info below!

TL;DR:

Sorry I've been hiding so long. I'm working again, and there are a bunch of new commission types coming soon! But first, I'm taking Cyber Monday illustration commissions again this year. Check it out and submit a form if you're interested!